[identity profile] a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] lkh_lashouts
A friend asked me this, and these were the first things off the top of my head! So I thought it would be fun to post them and invite you all to do the same!

1) Less rape. A lot less rape. What rape there is has to be portrayed as rape and something that only the bad guys do, for god’s sake

2) When a species is introduced, they have to be given consistent attention from that point on. You can’t just be like “oh fairies exist. oh naga exist. oh djinn exist. oh werefoxes exist.” and then never ever come back to them.

3) The werecreatures need to have much more sensible ways of establishing leadership. Someone being a leader because they’re the leaders girlfriend does not work, that doesn’t qualify them in any way. Someone being a leader because they killed and ate the other leader not only is in no way a demonstration of actually having any leadership skills, it’s also a great way to get the cops looking into your crew in a missing person investigation, and that’s not something you want, especially not given how police seem to really dislike supernaturals. And someone just being a “born” leader because magical predestination…on a meta level, I don’t like that trope, I hate someone being the best/the leader/etc Because Destiny Says So and everyone just accepting it. And I don’t think people would just accept it. I think at least one person, every time, would say, ok, but what qualities and qualifications do you ACTUALLY have?

I get that the werecreature societies are brutal, so power and fighting would still be a part of what gains a person status in the pack/pride/etc, you want a guy who can stand up against other groups and/or invasive newcomers trying to take over, but that doesn’t mean that’s all she/he has to be. Just focusing on brute power is NOT a sensible strategy. They should also be politically-minded, able to negotiate and get things done without NEEDING to fight, able to manage things during peace time as well as times of conflict (like allocation resources, helping newbies control their beast, etc.) and be pretty well-liked by their group (because otherwise they’ll get booted), probably elected/chosen by the group members because these are human beings with human brains and will think of all this, not to mention the story is set in America so they’ll probably be most inclined towards a democratic vote since that’s what we’re used to using for choosing our real leaders.

4) The werecreatures should act both more and less like real animals. What I mean is, LKH will write them doing things that are absolutely illogical for animals, but claim it mirrors real-life animal behavior when it doesn’t. For instance, I mentioned that leaders should be able to manage things without resorting to a fight first thing. In the wild, most conflict between animals over food, mating, territories, etc., is all display. Regardless of species, most animals will not actually fight, or at least not seriously, unless they really, REALLY have to. It’s just not worth the risk of injury. There are exceptions, there are some species that will fight to the death, but I am pretty sure the animals she’s writing about (wolves, tigers, etc.) don’t do that. Likewise, writing tigers and leopards are group animals that crave each other’s company, or swans as helpless prey. They’re not. Tigers and leopards are solitary creatures, and swans are terrifying hellbeasts (a lot of prey animals in real life are, actually, because THEY HAVE TO FIGHT PREDATORS) And this woman brags about having “realistic” monsters because of her research and biology degree, pfft!

But on the odd occasion she gets animal behavior right, it still makes no sense when you consider these are still human beings with human brains living in a human world. For instance, the whole “when a new werelion Rex (king/leader) comes in, he rapes the women and kills their children!” Ok, so, what, and the Pride just lets this happen? And why bother killing the children, they’re not werelions since it’s not one of the heritable strains, they’d just be murdering ordinary human kids. And the cops would get involved in that! Big-time! Even if this new guy had a crew big enough that the Pride couldn’t stop the rape and murder, there’s still the aftermath to consider. I can see some werecreatures not wanting to call the police on bad stuff in their group because it’s still their group and they don’t want the police in on it. But you’re gonna tell me not a single mother or their human family members wants justice for a murdered child? And again, these are murdered HUMAN children, the police WILL care. Come the hell on, there is no way anybody is getting away with this shit, it’s a stupid thing shoved in either for shock value or because LKH didn’t think it through, probably both. There’s a LOT of stuff like that.

5) More research IN GENERAL please. About animals, about law, about how anything at all works period (SEE: “DIAMOND PIPING” IN HER CORSET). Not only does she fail at this, she BRAGS on her blogs and social media about how thoroughly she researches everything and she just obviously DOESN’T. And it’s really, really detrimental to the story. Though when she has researched something she makes these massive tangential info-dumps which are ALSO really distracting and irrelevant and, frankly, have a pretty smug vibe to them. Just fucking know your shit and work it in organically where needed, is that too much to ask?!

That was my first five (of course I could go on ) what are YOURS?

Date: 2017-01-13 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poolnaiad.livejournal.com
Continuity, dear Lord, CONTINUITY. No more retconning the verse to the author's whims!

Date: 2017-01-13 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loree.livejournal.com
Copy editing. For the love of god, Montresor!

Date: 2017-01-13 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unseelie.livejournal.com
Holy crap YES!

Date: 2017-01-13 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unseelie.livejournal.com
Rex T dude comes to rape you and kill your children, so you pull out the .38 will silver bullets you bought and saved for Special Occasions and put a few bullets into him.
then call the police and show them proof of his other child murders.
And become leader of the Pride for being the only clearly thinking member of it....

Date: 2017-01-13 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pearkiwi.livejournal.com
1. Anita didn't gain the rapey sex power from JC; that'd cut down on a lot of the bullshit right there. In fact, Anita just stops gaining random powers as needed. She's got a pretty cool power already, she doesn't need more.

2. More world building in a way that makes sense, and is consistent.

3. A firm end date/plan.

4. Anita needs to start being called out on her bullshit by other characters without everyone immediately jumping to defend poor 'ickly Anita who's perfect and can do no wrong. Like it's unprofessional to bring your boyfriends to a crime scene wearing 6 inch heels and a miniskirt, and that blonde cop knows that, she's not giving you a dirty look because she thinks your a slut or whatever.

5. LKH needs to remember that the characters who aren't the core main characters (which should be pared down dramatically with change #1) should have lives outside of the main story, and away from Anita -and Anita needs to remember that too. (Like with the leader of the lions not wanting to bang her because he was married. I have no idea how Anita was anything but the bad guy in that situation but of course no other character told her that IIRC (and I might not, it's been a long while)).

bonus change; Free Richard! He made it clear in the early books that he wasn't into JC, and he and Anita want different things in life, so he should have been allowed to take his freedom from them.

bonus bonus change; LKH realizes at this point that Anita's a bad guy, writes a new series that fixed the problems in the first books and the issues of editing and rushing, and the first villain the new Main Character goes against is Anita and her minions.
Edited Date: 2017-01-13 10:04 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-01-14 06:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] northernwalker.livejournal.com
1. The blatent misogyny. Any woman who doesn't like Anita is automatically an evil horrible meaniehead who deserves to have horrible things happen to them because they don't worship Saint Anita.

2. Doing her freaking job instead of bopping away from crime scenes to go boink her harem.

3. Stepping down from her multiple "rulerships" so someone competent can actually do the job.

4. The creepy gun fetishes. In Wounded she can't be bothered to leave her gun in the damn car for a wedding reception or at least conceal it well.

5. The bashing. Seriously, she can't get through a day without snide comments about Asher/Richard/You name them.

Date: 2017-01-15 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duamuteffe.livejournal.com
Oh gods, everything about Crimson Death needs to go. Everything. I'm barely bashing through a chapter a week right now it sucks so badly. But if I want to get generic about the series as a whole...

1) Stories centered on plotlines that are interesting and require thought and actual research and a series bible to flesh out. Say, book about what actually happened when the MoaD was destroyed and left a power vacuum in Europe. Apparently Jean-Claude was threatened by the remaining masters but we heard nothing about it until a throwaway line in Crimson Death. Jean-Claude could go on a tour of the vampire courts of other countries as a diplomatic gesture - what's South America like, for instance? Would they be okay with him taking over the upper half of the hemisphere? The whole vampire fight for rights in court, likewise the zombie rights debate- Anita claims to have helped in framing the zombie laws, but we saw none of it. There's so many of these left hanging in favor of boring repetitive sex negotiations.

2) Stories where things are happening that don't have anything to do with Anita. Wouldn't a book about Julianna and Asher and Jean-Claude be cool? There's some sweeping tragic romance right there, set against the potential awesomeness of Belle Morte's court. How about the guy with his special werehunting dogs? I bet there's some cool monster hunting stories with that. Any of the Harlequin would be fascinating; lots of period intrigue to be had. How did Carswell end up in a triumverate with Padma and Gideon? That's intrigued me for ages.

3) Characters that are indifferent to Anita. It is completely unreasonable to have every single character in the series love, hate, love/hate, want, or hate/want her. There needs to be more people who just do not give a damn.

4) Characters that are more powerful than Anita and remain so throughout the series. It's okay that your character isn't the most powerful of all time! They just have to be sneakier and plan more thoroughly!

5) Villains who commit no sexual crimes. It's completely possible to write excellent villains who don't rape anyone. It has been done to death in this series and it needs to stop. (Stopping rape by the protagonists is a given, obviously.)

Date: 2017-01-17 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lliira1.livejournal.com
1) Misogyny. Also racism, homophobia, etc. The misogyny takes up more of the books by volume because it's pretty much what the books seem to almost entirely consist of, though the homophobia in Dead Ice gave it a run for its money.

2) Might makes right. No it doesn't, Laurell. Stop scorning victims and adoring bullies/rapists/murderers.

3) The spite. Anita doesn't run on sex or power. She runs on spite.

4) The talk talk talk talk TALKING. It's all angst, whining, Anita-worship, or "what does it mean?"

5) The author. Hand the series over to someone else who can throw a nuke at the Circus and start over.


Date: 2017-04-17 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] easolinas
Diamond piping? Owwwwww. But hey, diamonds, so obviously something people would have had if they were rich.

Unfortunately, LKH's worlds are awkward to actually think about, because the more you think about what she writes, the less it makes any kind of logical sense. The very base of the series is broken, and the deeper you go, the less anything sticks together?

And the rape thing is completely out of control, especially since she seems to be using it to talk herself into normalizing it as much as possible, for EVERYONE. I almost have to wonder what is going on with her life if she's trying soooooo hard to make people think it's normal.

Re: Hello!

Date: 2017-07-16 07:31 pm (UTC)
jamoche: Tonks wtf (Tonks wtf)
From: [personal profile] jamoche
OK, I have googled it, I have read the relevant passage (oh, Google Books, let's hope Google isn't making their baby AIs read everything you contain), looked up corset piping (lucky 10K moment of the day), and... wtf.

Quite aside from the owww, does she even realize that it's like saying "the seams were made of diamonds"? Does she just see words lying about and slap them together any old way... oh, what am I saying? Duh.

Date: 2017-05-30 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] quillsshadow
Five things I'd change?

1) Richard not going randomly gruesome in the early book, leading to Anita not running to Jean-Claude, leading to no ardon't.

2) Edward never being other than the amoral bastard who Anita has to watch her back around.

3) RPIT, and Anita's friendships/connections to it, staying important.

4) Anita having female friends who matter, who she cares about and vice-versa, and who are not Anita-lite.

5) The Necromancer thing being important, and not in a superpower way.


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