[identity profile] rodentfanatic.livejournal.com
Ever since I first sporked Skin Trade, it's been a pipe dream of mine to rewrite it, as well as all the subsequent AB books that I read/sporked. It would take a lot more time than I have, what with working on my own novels, my current AB fanfic, and my current sporkings, but the grains of good ideas and awesome plots in Skin Trade, Bullet, and Hit List (not so much Flirt, though, that whole thing was kinda dumb) just really get to me, as does the lost potential of the series in general. Recently I was idly thinking about at least writing down the ideas of what I would do different, even if I never got around to an actual fic of it, and it hit me that in order for these books to go as I wanted, a massive retcon of all previous books would have to happen as well. Anita would also be a vastly different person too, and yet I think the way I have her laid out here is actually more in line with the original vision LKH had for her and how she *wanted* Anita to be seen, more than how she actually turned out being, even from the start.

So, this is the type of Anita that I would do, if I were put in charge of the series and could change it from the beginning in order to rewrite the more current novels to my liking. If anyone is interested, I might write down further changes for other characters, plots, novels, etc., and post them too.

Read more )
[identity profile] rodentfanatic.livejournal.com
Why does Anita hunt vampires? Because I don't think we're ever given a reason why. She just does.

She seems very devoted to it,and she also talks about what a tax it is on her soul to have to execute those that are awake, strapped to a gurney, and begging for their lives. So this is a difficult job for not just in that it's a very high-risk and dangerous one, but also very emotionally hard. So why does she keep doing it? What is her motivation? Unlike, say, Buffy or Blade, it's not like she can't get out. They both have special physiologies (better strength, better speed, faster healing etc.) that enable them to better at fighting the vampires in a world where very few people even know these creatures exist and are preying on them, let alone are equipped to deal with them. That's not the case with Anita. Her original animator powers gave her a bit of an edge in terms of evading the mental powers of vampires, but physically she was nothing special, and EVERYONE knows about vampires, there are loads of other executioners out there, etc.

So what made her want to become a vampire slayer?

I've heard it be suggested that maybe she became one just because she felt that having that edge as an animator meant she was morally obligated to use it to protect the populace. I'm not sure I buy it though. Firstly, Anita is so damn selfish. It's not believable to me at all that she loves her harem, so I can't believe the idea she'd care enough about people she's never met to put her life on the line for them. And even if I could buy that she started for that reason, what about why she continued even when she claims it was so tough on her to kill like she did? I don't believe it was actually tough on her at all, personally, but let's just say that what LKH is trying to portray is in fact the truth, that Anita really is a hero, that this really does tear her up, etc. What prompts her to keep doing it?

I think she just wants a license to kill. In the early books, there are times where she seems to almost hate vampires, see them as all dangerous monsters, etc. In the later books, she alternates between 'they're monsters!' and 'they're people!' depending on who she's talking to; basically, whatever position the other person has, Anita takes the opposite one and is portrayed as being right every time in comparison to the other person and LKH doesn't seem to realize she's flip-flopping all the time at all. But no reason as to why she would feel hostile to vampires as she does is ever given. I draw two conclusions from this:

1) Anita just likes to argue with people, make them feel bad for their beliefs, and feel superior


2) Anita doesn't actually believe in either position, because she doesn't care enough to take a side. She's just a power-obsessed murderous sociopath who wants to pretend she's a hero, so she takes a position that will allow her to kill people and be 'right' for it.

While I was reading Skin Trade, she said over and over that she was a government-sanctioned assassin, that vampires could be killed legally for very minor things, that she was a serial killer in her own way, and so on. And LKH tried to make her sound brooding and grimdark, but she came off as both whiny and insincere. She sounded more like she was relishing talking about this stuff so much I could just imaging LKH's inner glee as she wrote this over HOW COOL IT IS and HOW COOL ANITA IS and she just can't stop it from bleeding into Anita's words and tone instead of actually trying to look at it from the POV of someone who really was like that, really did those things, really was jaded and wounded, etc.

So, what say you? Does Anita have a reason for being an executioner that you can recall? Do you think she does it because of her animator edge, a desire to kill without reproach, both, neither, something else? Why did she start? Why does she continue? And do you think SHE even believes what LKH has her spout just to spite people?
[identity profile] raven-tiger.livejournal.com
I am quite new to the Anita Blake series. I have been wanting to read them for awhile since I heard how bad they have gotten. I like reading bad!fiction.

There be snark and spoilers behind the cut )

This is my first post here, so if I tagged or titled this entry wrong, please correct me. Thank you!
[identity profile] nightmer.livejournal.com
For those that aren't aware, "Beauty" is LKH's latest work. It boasts a stunning 2.1 stars on Amazon. As it says on the summary page:

32 reviewers aren't wrong. This is literally one sex scene that was rejected from being added to the published books, coupled with some of LKH's cut-and-paste backstory in case you can't keep track of all the bland men in Anita's life.


Even the cover labels it an "outtake" which apparently means, "we didn't know what to do with this so we decided to see if people would pay $2.99 to download it it."  No excuses yet for why Anita is apparently a brown-haired blue-eyed unscarred  tan-but-white lady.  I kind of like the cover, though.  It's not pretending that anything is happening in this story but everyone lounging around and focusing on Anita.  Plus, the writing superimposed over her chest makes it look like they just said "fuck this book, I don't even care" and stole an image off a stock photo site.
   In any case, if you don't feel like slogging through the 33 pages yourself, here's a summary and some choice excerpts!   
Totally Tight n' Wet )
[identity profile] blogfloggery.livejournal.com
Link: Beauty - a preview
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

So many of you have asked, or said, you can’t wait until it comes out, so . . . Here’s a sneak peek at Beauty the too hot to handle outtake from Kiss the Dead which comes out as an eSpecial May 8, 2012:

“I finally let myself look at that face, and I felt like I had from almost the first moment I’d seen him, that he was simply one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. The black curls touched the edge of his face, as if bringing attention to the curve of his mouth, the line of his cheek, and those eyes. They always looked blue, but they were so dark. Midnight blue with their double edge of black eyelashes like dark lace to frame the deepest blue I’d ever seen in anyone’s eyes. His eyes were a blue like deep ocean water, where it runs cold and will eventually spill down into something warm and mysterious, where creatures the light has never seen live and thrive. Those gorgeous eyes looked at me, and there was love in them, but the second he saw me in the doorway, walking toward him, there was lust, desire, and just a heat that brought a blush to my face and an answering heat to my own eyes. Six years after we’d first started dating I was still a little amazed that this most lovely of men wanted me so badly. They talked about burning for each other, and we still did. I never seemed to get over the surprise of turning around and seeing him there. You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.”


Apr. 12th, 2012 09:36 pm
[identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
It's only taken a small eternity for the Amazon page to be updated with some kind of information as to what this even is - and the publication date has changed from April 24 to May 8:
The steamy outtake that takes readers even further into Laurell K. Hamilton’s bestselling novel, Kiss the Dead.

You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.

With a vampire like Jean Claude around, it’s far too easy for Anita Blake to doubt her own appearance—and the hold it has on those who love her. But one hot tub and two incredibly sexy men—Jean Claude and Asher—will make her feel like the most lusted-after woman alive…or undead. Not bad for a mere human…

“Hamilton remains one of the most inventive and exciting writers in the paranormal field.”—Charlaine Harris, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author

Includes an excerpt of Kiss the Dead, the new Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel.

I'm starting to wonder if this is what we get instead of the first chapter posted free on LKH's website? Given the revised drop date, Beauty comes out one month before Kiss the Dead. There has been zero chatter about what Beauty even is -- the closest I've found was just a couple of days ago over at the forum, and even then the mod couldn't actually confirm what the book was about unless she got word from Laurell herself. This whole thing strikes me as incredibly weird.

That said, yes I am going to try to get my hands on this as soon as possible. For science or great justice or something.
[identity profile] rodentfanatic.livejournal.com
Just for any general headcanon/fan theories you might have concerning the AB or Merry series!

- Belle Morte uses glamor so that no matter what the current time is, she appears to the eyes of others as being the epitome of the current beauty standards. And the reason that Anita sees her as looking notably like Anita is because to Anita, for all her whining about oh noes tall skinny blondes, does indeed consider herself to be the height of female beauty.

- Raina is still around in Anita's head as a munin, and it is her slow, subtle corruption that has made Anita into what she now is

- Or this all just Anita's most ID-level fantasies that she believes are really happening, but actually aren't. It's just Jean-Claude manipulating her mind so he can use her as a pawn.

-Or it's an ongoing delusion due to Anita having contracted some supernatural STD (hey, even just regular syphilis can make you crazy!) and JC is still manipulating it to his ends, in any case, if she isn't in a mental hospital.

- Anne Rice books and the Twilight series and other supernatural-themed books either were never written in the ABverse, or, if they were, do not enjoy at all the same popularity because of the existence of real vampires cutting into the fantasy on a number of levels.

-MELANIE IS STILL FUCKING WAITING AND PLANNING AND GOING TO GET YOU, ANITA. She swore, and immortals probably don't feel a need to get their vengeance fast.

- There is another group of werehyenas in St. Louis, made up of all the females that Narcissus wouldn't let join. Except that's not actually how it happened. He didn't kick them out, they kicked HIM out because he kept stealing their shampoo and high heels.

- While both the tigers and the hyenas are matriarchies, they are matriarchies in very different ways. My headcanon for why tigers are female-ruled is that since they are so rare and so focused on preserving their species, their women became regarded nigh-sacred for their ability to give birth and carry on the bloodlines. And of course that is ultimately sexist against women because it's basing their value on their reproductive ability, but I think that it makes sense for weretigers in this universe, and I think that instead of settling for being exploited as brood mares, the tiger ladies instead decided to grab hold of this idea and use it to their advantage, ultimately resulting in a society where "well, us women are responsible for continuing the species, so it makes sense to have us responsible for the species as a whole, which meanings ruling and making decisions and Mother Knows Best" and probably a lot of emphasis on fertility and creation as power, as women as a life-source, women as the only sex strong enough to have a baby, etc.

But in the case of hyenas, I think it's more instinctual. In the wild, hyenas (as in the actual animal) are female-dominated naturally. Even a male who is larger than a female will usually submit to her without a fight. Since hyenas don't have one mass culture with a history of traditions like tigers do, nor a problem with rareness, I think that every time a new hyena group organizes they just naturally find themselves with the dominant women being in charge by what seems by chance but is in fact their inner instincts, whether they realize it or not, manipulating things in that way. I think that some groups would have no particular views on matriarchy and would instead just accept it, while others would instead take a more Amazonian point of view, emphasizing the strength and power of female hyenas in combat as why they are suited to be in charge of the group, protecting them from threats and leading them in battles, with probably nothing much to say (unlike the tigers) about birth-giving, since it's not going to be an important deal to them as it is with the tigers.
[identity profile] sweetalbatross.livejournal.com
I found a bunch of the Anita books in my friend's shed and she said I could take a few. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone could tell me which book or books had the creepy Pedo-Anita/wimpy Nathaniel dynamic. I wanna read them for the squicky lulz. Thanks in advance!
[identity profile] naeko.livejournal.com
There are two things I've been wondering about.

Do you think that Hamilton's limited touring for the last few books is due to her, or due to her popularity? It seems like she only does five or less signings. I know she hates flying, but has her touring schedule always been so limited? Is this typical of other authors? I wonder if she's telling her manager/agent, "I won't do an extensive tour; I'm too important and my muse needs me at home!" or do you think her manager just can't get her any more tour locations and dates?

The other thing, is what logic flaws always bugged you in the books? (Well, I guess we don't have to limit her lunacy to the books, though that was what I was originally pondering.) I don't mean things like, "Well, all that sex would DEFINITELY lead to chafing." I mean more like when we cock our heads and make the puppy Baroo? sound when she talks about how super high heels are best for a messed up ankle.

My two biggest headdesk moments (from before I stopped reading at CS) were Anita claiming that tight shirts can replace a bra and that Richard had to "bend nearly double" to kiss her. I nearly concussed myself when, in one of the later books, Anita doesn't have access to a bra (I can't even remember why, at this point) so she puts on a super tight shirt and claims that's all you need with boobs as big as hers. SO not true.

As to Richard, he's supposed to be- what?- 6'3? 6'4? And Anita is, depending on her mood, or the tide or something, 5'2/5'3/5'4. In high school, I was the same height difference from my boyfriend as Anita was from Richard and we never had any issues kissing. Boyfriend never strained his neck, and we never had to call in a chiropractor to adjust his spine. This whole "bend nearly double" nonsense always made me facepalm myself a nice, red welt.

Soooo, thinking back on the books, what little errors did Anita make that made you, even as a fan, cock your head in confusion?
[identity profile] mariadeangeles.livejournal.com
In the books LKH descirbes Anita as representing thick women, calling thinner women "boys with breasts", always putting Anita in some form of competition with the taller slender females.
LKH herself isn't thin so it makes sense that she would want to represent fuller women but in the comics Anita has a very small waist with big boobs and thighs which doesnt represent most full figured women at all. It might represent a playmate, or a porn stars and maybe the few who genetically happen to have that body. So how is having an Anita that looks like Nicki Minaj celebrating thick women's bodies? Won't the women who read the Anita books and rejoiced that a non-model type could get so much male attention just be upset by the fact that their proportions aren't like that at all?
[identity profile] the-mome-wrath.livejournal.com
LKH's recent comments about the crime scenes in her earlier books being too nightmarish have made me wonder about them. I'm assuming she's referring to the crime scenes themselves, as she hasn't stopped having villains (such as they are) in the books. I never really found the crime scenes that graphic myself, but I know that people's tolerance for these things can vary wildly.

Looking over the crime scenes in the early books, Anita is always so caught up in the horror of what she's looking at that it doesn't seem like she would be looking at things very objectively. You would think that the police would just send her photos of the scene and come down to the morgue. She never seems to do anything other than measure bite marks and poke the bodies a bit which doesn't require being at the scene. Yet in Lunatic Cafe the police ask Anita whether they can enter the crime scene without messing up evidence.

Also, one thing that always kind of surprised me about the Anita series was that Anita never acquired that professional distance that people who deal with the dead seem to develop. This seems a bit unrealistic to me or at least unrealistic in the sense that Anita kept consulting with the police as long as we are supposed to believe she has.

In any case, which book do you think had the most graphic crime scene? Do you think they're as horrible as LKH believes they are?
[identity profile] glimmerfox.livejournal.com
 Found this list of the most hated literary characters and guess who showed up as #6?

You get three guesses and first two don't count.

[identity profile] naeko.livejournal.com
(I don't know what to call this other than a theory; that sort of implies there's actually belief on my part that Hamilton is smart enough to have come up with this, which there really isn't. ¬_¬)

I had the thought while viciously fighting with my sewing machine, earlier. The whole reason Anita has become a promiscuous monster? Raina is taking over and doing it on the sly.

It makes sense, if you think about some of the facts. Anita has always said (over and over. And over. And over and over.) that she's not that beautiful. So why do all these men suddenly think Anita is beautiful and perfect? Raina is using the lycanthropy to mutate Anita's bone structure in tiny increments. She's molding Anita to be more beautiful (maybe even to more resemble herself), to attract more men and thus more power. Hell, maybe she alters Anita's face with each man she sleeps with, making each see her as his ideal of beauty in those intimate (lol intimate) moments.

I can see two reasons that Anita just thinks she still looks the same:
1. Raina is just that good. She's changing the structure of Anita's face so subtly that Anita and her men don't even notice.
2. Anita can't tell because Raina's not letting her see it, and she's got everyone around Anita so enthralled to her that they can't tell, either.

Hell, maybe Mommy Darkess (whatever; I'm too lazy to look up the supposed lady big bad's name) and Belle Morte's psychic visits are just Raina distracting Anita while she does some psychic redecorating, prettying the place up for herself. She sees the power Anita has, and the power that can be acquired by having that power, and she wants it.

I would love for Anita to 'wake up' one day and realize she's not in control of her own body. Suddenly, she's watching things happen to her and watching herself say things, but it's not her. She's been asleep for years and can only barely remember what's been happening, yet there's a whole, horrifying history built up involving her. She's no longer the chaste, ethical vampire executioner who fights for zombie rights and enjoys a bit of rebellion in silly coffee mugs. She's an amoral, power-hungry lycanthrope queen whose plan in life is to slowly bend everyone around her to her will.

I even considered tweeting LKH and telling her, "I figure out your big plot twist! Anita's become promiscuous and monstrous because Raina's taken over, right? Brilliant!"


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