lkh_lashouts | Bathtubs are not the magical filtration devices you think they are...

So, I was re-skimming "The Killing Dance" last night.

Wow... well first, I had forgotten that there was actually a time when all of the other females in Anita-verse weren't major bitches that suffered from Freudian penis envy. (And yes, I use this term in the contemporary metaphorical sense, unlike LKH who just uses it and had no idea what she's talking about.) Ah... Raina, how I miss you.

Anyway, so I got to the part where Richard transforms on top of Anita, covers her in werewolf goo, and then goes and eats Marcus (with Raina, I might add.) So, Anita freaks out and returns to the Circus, thus starting off the first Anita sex scene of the series. But yeah, about that. May I remind you that at this point Anita is still covered in werewolf guck, something that she describes as a mix between blood and glue. She has to peel off her clothes since it's so caked on. Naturally, she gets into the bath and starts scrubbing it off with gardenia smelling soap and herbal shampoo that might have been Herbal Essences complete with orgasm if it hadn't been for the fact that Anita monologued that Jean-Claude didn't buy store brand.

So let's look at our bathtub now. It's got soap, shampoo (which is basically soap for hair), and werewolf goo in it. It probably doesn't look clean, and I'll bet monopoly money that it's going to taste nasty if someone drinks/licks it... which is precisely what Anita does when Jean-Claude falls in a couple pages later. Eww...

Okay. I know LKH has a problem with consistency, but it's only a few fricken pages. The sad part is, I don't think she ever learns. In later books there's still (lots of) sex in dirty bathtubs complete with the whole licking thing; just replace the werewolf goo with sex goo (not to be confused with sex-fu). It's like the bath tub suddenly gets the dirty-water-draining properties of the shower, but retains the bubbles (which don't taste like soap) and that whole completely-immersed-in-water thing. Perhaps this new device's name should be changed to The Bath Tub.

...

Oh. And slightly related, since it deals with the bathroom.

"[Jean-Claude's] feet were startlingly pale against the black carpet." Chapter 39, The Killing Dance (I don't know the page number.)

He has carpet... in the bathroom... I'm sorry, but my brain has just died... again. You could put down a rug in the bathroom or maybe a fuzzy mat. But to CARPET THE WHOLE THING?!? Eesh... I bet Jean-Claude gets his designing inspiration from Trading Spaces.