ext_260313 ([identity profile] catskin.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] lkh_lashouts 2006-10-07 07:27 pm (UTC)

I can see the opening now...

"Call me Anita. Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely -- having too much time on my hands and not enough men in my bed, and nothing particular to restrain my godly sex powers, I thought I would shag around a little and see some tight wet harpoon-penis action. It is a way I have of driving off all my female friends, and regulating my harem. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically shooting vampire's heads off -- then, I account it high time to get laid as soon as I can."

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