...there's definitely a rape/loss of control fantasy being played out in both books. Hell, the scene in Narcissus in Chains with Micah in the shower was a pretty creepy rape scene, though LKH claimed it wasn't intended that way and re-wrote it (badly) for the paperback. The rewrite was basically "I didn't want it but even though I was saying no, I really did want it".
Which I think ties in very strongly to what you say about shame and fantasies. Giving up control means you can't be held responsible for what you do, after all, which translates into "I fucked six guys in one night and three were strangers, but the ardeur made me do it, so it wasn't slutty". Nonconsensual sex is a popular fantasy for a reason, especially for people who are, for whatever reason, repressed, which seems to describe LKH.
Also, as an aside...I always figured that LKH's refusal to "fix" things was simply a borderline psychotic refusal to acknowledge that she had done something wrong in the first place. I've known too many people in my life who simply can't acknowledge they've screwed up...it's always someone else's fault, or the people doing the criticizing don't know what they're talking about (sound familiar?). Persecution complex.
And of course, anyone is free to disagree with me on any of this, I'm just speaking from my own experience and mind. But kudos on a very well thought out and interesting post.
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...there's definitely a rape/loss of control fantasy being played out in both books. Hell, the scene in Narcissus in Chains with Micah in the shower was a pretty creepy rape scene, though LKH claimed it wasn't intended that way and re-wrote it (badly) for the paperback. The rewrite was basically "I didn't want it but even though I was saying no, I really did want it".
Which I think ties in very strongly to what you say about shame and fantasies. Giving up control means you can't be held responsible for what you do, after all, which translates into "I fucked six guys in one night and three were strangers, but the ardeur made me do it, so it wasn't slutty". Nonconsensual sex is a popular fantasy for a reason, especially for people who are, for whatever reason, repressed, which seems to describe LKH.
Also, as an aside...I always figured that LKH's refusal to "fix" things was simply a borderline psychotic refusal to acknowledge that she had done something wrong in the first place. I've known too many people in my life who simply can't acknowledge they've screwed up...it's always someone else's fault, or the people doing the criticizing don't know what they're talking about (sound familiar?). Persecution complex.
And of course, anyone is free to disagree with me on any of this, I'm just speaking from my own experience and mind. But kudos on a very well thought out and interesting post.