I agree that Anita is raped by the Arduer (just finished reading the first book where it comes up), and she's also raped by Micah the first time they have sex. She tells him no, she tells him to stop multiple times, and he keeps going.

The way LKH just avoids that whole part of it afterwards still amazes me. It's an almost standard rape scene, and still LKH/Anita doesn't see it as such.