I think we need to enlist the help of a new female character. Maybe she's tall, tan, blonde-haired and blue-eyed. Maybe her name is something very normal--Anne, or Mary, or even--dare I say it?--Brittany.

And maybe Anne or Mary or Brittany actually goes to work, will choose a (singular) boyfriend, and actually treats him well.

That would piss off Anita something fierce. LOL.