Verbal annoyances

[easol.livejournal.com]

Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.

Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.

Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?

"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.

"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?

Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?

Comments

[vlredreign.livejournal.com]

Someone mentioned "ate me from the mouth down", but the one I ate more than "spilling" and "vanilla" is this:

"He ate/fed at my mouth"

Oy, vey!!!

Oh, and someone up there asked if people paid that much attention to eyes. The answer is yes. Doesn't mean that I want to see it repeated over and over, but yes, a vivid pair of eyes, whether in shape or color does garner attention. I, in particular have a hand fetish. So when I see a great pair of hands, I can never get enough of them being used in a fic or story.

[easol.livejournal.com]

And by extension, I also hate any comparison to men's mouths as being drugs. Arg!

Seriously, kissing like that sounds damn painful. Does anyone just smooch or make out in this universe, or so they always have to be gnawing off each other's lips?

[vlredreign.livejournal.com]

Kissing in this verse always seems to be painful. I can live with the nicking that comes with kissing someone with fangs, but that brutal face-sucking, I'd have to punch a guy! That's not sexy, at all. Animalistic kissing, yes, that can be, but the way LKH describes it, it sounds like root canal.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

"He ate/fed at my mouth"

Yeah, that one always reminds me of naked screaming baby birds.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

"He ate/fed at my mouth"

Suddenly I'm flashing back to that episode of Supernatural where Sam finally got some with the werewolf chick. IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS EATING HER FACE.

And oh yes, a good pair of hands is a great thing to have in fic. I like describing the way people touch/hold things and gesticulate.