"I wonder if part of the "magic" of her ardeur is making it so the "victim" is ok with it. So, not only are you raped, but you don't know it and you like it. That's even worse than just being raped."

It's mind-rape as well as bodily rape, and you'd expect it to have even more traumatic repercussions, especially since the mind would presumably fight it. And worse, lack of knowledge can't help the person recover from it, or prevent the rapist from doing it again.

I can't help but bring up the Dresden Files, where such rapes occur frequently for the White Court -- it's pretty clear that not only the bodies but the minds of the people are basically controlled. The Hunger is a LOT like Hamilton's ardeur... except that it's portrayed as a malign, destructive force.