If she really thought she needed meds, she has the resources to get help, a diagnosis, and a prescription. Either she is just in love with her own darkity-darkness too much to want to take it away, or she's hyping this up a whole lot to seem special and dramatic and a REAL writer who is REALLY into her work and world and such.

I was afraid of being helped with my depression because having had it lifelong had made it a huge part of my personality and I was terrified that without it, I would be nobody, just an even emptier shell with no identity. I can't say for sure and I don't like to speculate far on the "reality" of mental health issues of others (or their mental health at all, especially over the Internet) but that's...not the vibe I'm getting from this entry at all, and that's as much as I'll allow myself to think on it.