WHAT? HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT ZE GREATEST AREETEESE OF ALL TIME WOULD EVER STOOP TO BEING A MEASLY BARISTA!
But if she WAS, mind, she'd be the sexiest, shortest, brunette-est barista ever to stride the halls of Starbucks. And her coffee-brewing technique would be so amazing that it would make men uncontrollably horny around her. And she'd randomly get to shoot customers who complained that they wanted a frappe, not a latte. And she'd refuse to serve any men who didn't have hair down to their nipples, at least. And she'd heal sociopaths' souls with her mind-enslaving cappuccinos. And...
Actually, now I really want this. It would be an awesome parody.
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But if she WAS, mind, she'd be the sexiest, shortest, brunette-est barista ever to stride the halls of Starbucks. And her coffee-brewing technique would be so amazing that it would make men uncontrollably horny around her. And she'd randomly get to shoot customers who complained that they wanted a frappe, not a latte. And she'd refuse to serve any men who didn't have hair down to their nipples, at least. And she'd heal sociopaths' souls with her mind-enslaving cappuccinos. And...
Actually, now I really want this. It would be an awesome parody.