Meanwhile, her father is in the other room, clutching a class of whiskey and just looking at Jean-Claude, who is lounging like he's waiting for the paparazzi to leap out and snap photos at him despite being a pair of shoulder pads and some sparkly eyeshadow away from Adam Ant.

The clock ticks loudly in the background.

Anita's father shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "So...you're...a vampire? How's that working out for you?"