Blog flog

[dwg.livejournal.com]

URL: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2006/07/richmond-va.html
Title: Richmond, VA
Date: Monday 10 July 2006

LKH in italicised blockquote, me...not so much.

We actually got two questions in the Q and A that we'd not had before. One was why doesn't Anita like women, as in like-like. Honestly, it's because I forget that women are potential sex objects. I am just terribly heterosexual, so I notice men, but women just don't hit my radar. As a writer I see it as a deficit

Everyone please take a moment to let this sink in.

. . .

Geez, as if we haven't noticed that LKH is "just terribly heterosexual" in her reflections in Anita. What with every man on earth - and all who are yet to be born! - fawning all over her, and every single woman on earth either jealous bitches or brainless twits that "don't understaaaand" how to please a man. WTF, I ask you - just what the zombie jesus fuck?

I should probably give her brownie points for recognising this, but...well, I take them off when I read about her solution.

I even went out to the mall with Jon and said, show me how to look at women, but we discovered that our taste in women is too different. Women he thought were cute just didn't do it for me, and women I was willing to say were cute didn't do it for him, so it wasn't very useful.

Just...wait a second. LKH, you want Jon to approve in your taste in women? No...really? Because you two can't agree on something it's classed as "not very useful"?

I am aghast.

Egad, lady. You're allowed to think of chicks as hot. It's okay if your GRR-tough-and-manly-husband (with his glorious locks of long, long haiiir!) [/sarcasm] doesn't agree with what you might hit if you swung that way. You are the writer! You create people that are not real! That totally doesn't count toward being a lesbian or having an affair.

I'm going to faceplam on behalf of us all.

I am trying to add more women to the Anita series in the current book I'm working on, but sadly, the women are probably never going to get the loving description that the men do. My apologies.

No need to apologise, Laurell. Women, generally, do not have penises. Therefore, any description of a woman in the current series would probably be cut down to half a paragraph.

The other question we got was how do I come up with all those sex scenes. Truthfully, I'm going to have to think about that one for a while.

And here was me thinking she had a "to-do" list and she just checked things off as she went.

I mean to me it's not an effort to come up with the scenes. Once you know your characters you just have to think how they would make love, what they would do during sex. Your sex scenes should be different when you're with different people.

I call bullshit on this. What with most sex scenes being pastede on, yay!

Course, it also helps if other characters had personalities and the like, but...well, that also gets addressed:

Personality isn't something that just happens before you get into bed and then afterwards. The person you are is very much there in bed with you, or should be on paper and in real life

In the case of Micah, personality never happens at all. But kinda in the case of Richard, this little statement is true. He stops having any kind of opinion during sex, and then afterward goes back onto the angst parade.

Though, at this point, I'm willing to wager that every time Anita has sex, a character loses their personality. *claps hands* I believe in characters, I do, I do!

I think that's one of the reasons I've never done causal sex, it's never just the physical that interests me.

*coughRequiemByronAugustinecough* Like those were never casual. And after Anita nearly tripped over while watching a well-endowed stripper at the Incubus Dreams strip joint in ID - again, I call bullshit. She's interested in the physical, so don't try to tell me that she wants to know about how other people feeeeel, and thiiiink. Someone please point out to me the number of conversations that Anita has had with male characters that A) do not have to do with Anita's hangups, B) do not have to do with the male characters wangst, C) sex. Hmm? Anyone? Beuller?

I have to know someone before the idea of sleeping with them appeals to me. I think this is the same with the characters. I have to know them, know their history, and something about who they really are before they get that chance on stage with Anita.

I can see it now, the checklist to get into LKH's and Anita's pants are as follows:

1. Must have large penis.
2. Must have omgsotragicpast *woe* even if it's about 1.

And I hope to the gods of writing, she doesn't mean a *literal* stage. But if she does, JC ought to sell tickets at the Circus.

"Come one, come all!" *coughpuncough* "See the Amazing Anita Blake and her inexhaustible snatch! Watch men reduced to mindless shells! Behold the Rainmaker! PH34R the loudest orgasms ever recorded!"

I think reading this blog entry hurt my brain.

Comments

LOL!

[jperceval.livejournal.com]

1. I love your icon!

2. Considering that all the men Anita DOES go for (with the exception of Richard) are hopelessly androgynous, I have to wonder if the lady doth protest too much with regard to women.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

1. Thankyou! *bes huge House fan*

2. That's probably the case. LKH is all, "GRR! I LIKE MEN! I AM STRAIGHT! WHY DO YOU ASK!?" but secretly going, "You know what? Kate Beckinsale is hot in latex."

From the other perspective, I am a woman that has no problem with saying that another woman is hot. And I've been asked...by guys...if I am gay. I don't get it.

[mariakatarina.livejournal.com]

first: Yay House! **total fangirl** I just broke down and bought the first season on DVD. House is so made of awesome.

Onto the blog. I think that's one of the reasons I've never done causal sex, it's never just the physical that interests me.


What the fuckity fuck does this woman -think- the last four books were primarily about? All the way back to NiC had mindless fucking. And what -does- she call Anita being introduced to a new main character only to fuck him five minutes later? Oh that's right, the ARDEUR. -This- is why this thing is the worst plot device in existence.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It's kinda sad, I was thinking last night that the ardeur could be fantastically cool if it were in the hands of a more adept writer. Even with the aspects of metaphysical rape.

But no, no, no...it's lame, and I'm tired of "THE ARDEUR MADE ME DO IT! But that's totally okay, because I love him now and I will fight for the people I love!"

Gah. *vomit*

[windiain.livejournal.com]

You know, I really did not need the image of LKH fantasising about Kate Beckinsale. Seriously. I find it difficult enough coping with imagining her sitting at her computer attempting to write porn. It's just far too disturbing.

[scarbie.livejournal.com]

I shouldn't be reading this while I'm at work because it made me laugh too much.

I am just terribly heterosexual, so I notice men, but women just don't hit my radar.

I'm not understanding this. You can be perfectly straight and recognize that a woman is attractive.

In regards to the sex scenes... sometimes I wonder if she's reading the same books that we are because casual sex was going on all over the place.

Someone please point out to me the number of conversations that Anita has had with male characters that A) do not have to do with Anita's hangups, B) do not have to do with the male characters wangst, C) sex.

Good point. The only character I can think of that she's consistantly had conversations with that didn't fall into those categories is Edward. And we haven't seen him since OB. I would love to see his character again but with the way the series has been going he's too good for it. *lol* Oh man, if Anita tried to pull that ho shit on him I hope he won't succumb to her evil powers like every other dude in the series has. Edward does not need to know how tight and wet Anita is.

[mariakatarina.livejournal.com]

Yes! make the ardeur create more conflict instead of this idiotic 'sex solves everything' idea.

Rape, Fucking the wrong -person-. I want a showdown where Meng Die kicks Anita's ass for whoring off of Requiem. I think the readership is owed that at the very least?

When was the last time Anita got into a physical altercation and even had to use a gun on someone or something?

[mariakatarina.livejournal.com]

er. nix that stray question mark. Not particularly used to this keyboard yet.

[temperance22.livejournal.com]

"*claps hands* I believe in characters, I do, I do!"

Maybe if we got every person in the world to do it...

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I'll meet your query and raise you the issue of, since when have we seen Anita use any of her spiffy magical powers that conveniently show up to save the day EVER AGAIN? One of the things that's been pissing me off so much is hey, Anita's got a new power - and then that's it. She doesn't bother to learn about it, learn how to control it - because phhh, like it'll ever turn up and like, HURT someone that she loves and wants to protect OHNOEZ - and then practice like hell to bitchslap the NEXT bad thing that comes along into hell.

But since nobody's ever in peril, it totally doesn't matter. And the people that do get hurt totally don't count. In fact, they had it coming. [/sarcasm]

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Would it make you feel better to know that LKH hated Underworld and thought that the full-length leather coats was stupid?

Because I have that blog link around here somewhere.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

She who adorns her characters in silly lace, straps and buckles that are so impractical it's surprising they haven't killed themselves? And she says long leather coats are stupid?! Bzah?!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

*smashes your bubble of hope*

Uh, there was a blog entry a while back where LKH discussed having Edward call up Anita to ask her about sex education for Peter. Which is just...so...incredibly...wrong.

[faeriethistle.livejournal.com]

She expects Jon to tell her what women he thinks are cute and be honest?
He has a cash cow he doesnt want to lose/loose.
LKH/Anita cant have any woman be more speshul than herself.
It'd be like shooting himself in the penis! Of course he lied.
Jon to Laurell - "No one is more lovely than you dearest."

[dwg.livejournal.com]

*roffles*

YES! And maybe then, we can hold a charity concert where we urge people do adopt LKH's commas.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It's probably more that what she think she's written is omgperfect.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

That's...more to the point.

Though, I don't know what LKH's excuse is. Hell, my parents have a totally cool view on this kind of thing. My mother laid down the law of, "Look, but don't touch!" and more often than not, she's the one pointing out hot chicks with impressive racks to my father.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

LKH goes off about Underworld. (http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2005/01/underworld.html) And then Jon had to weigh in too. (http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2005/01/jons-underworld-rant.html) (both open in a new window)

Dude, you won't believe how much I ranted about this. (http://community.livejournal.com/muse_abuse/2867.html) Granted, it was more about the vampire mythos, but...well, LKH doesn't own the genre.

[faeriethistle.livejournal.com]

Best way to have it!
Everyone looks! If we aren't, we're dead. Or lying.
Besides, it helps give ideas to the other partner.

Re: LOL!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hallow_/]

I don't think #2 implies anything. I'm gay and I tend to like more androgynous men too. It doesn't make me feel a bit straighter. At all. LOL!

[scarbie.livejournal.com]

*in luke skywalker voice* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I really hope that LKH had misplaced those Post-it notes. Oh, that doesn't make any sense at all. This coming from the man that told Anita that she needed to have an uncomplicated fuck. Why would he need to go to her to give Peter sex ed advice?

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Two sentences into Jon's post, and my eyes are bleeding. Dear god, she lets him edit her stuff?! He's illiterate!!!

You know, I could excuse her bad writing, I could excuse her being an embarrassing idiot... it's her total arrogance that really pisses me off and dislike the woman.

[randomsome1.livejournal.com]

So it's ok if she knows the new characters before they jump on the Anita-train. No matter that to the rest of us, their pasts are invisible and personalities are nil.

And since when does her idea of attractive have to match up with his?

[isleofinnisfree.livejournal.com]

Watching this movie did not invigorate me. It made me feel tired. Research. Research. Research. Damnit.

This from the woman who can't keep what's going on in her own damn novel(lite/lytes) straight? Granted, Underworld wasn't the greatest vampire flick ever, but at least it had a plot that didn't depend on hundreds of pages of porn.

And I don't even know if I want to get started on LKH's basing every single one of Anita's sexual preferences on herself. (and god knows any other aspects of her character simply don't come up in this fuck-fest that's taken the place of the story) I just don't get how an author can be this creepily autobiographical and then keep protesting the people who call her on it.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm wondering. Maybe if they disagree, he'll turn out not to be the most perfect soulmate husband Micah-Nathaniel hybrid EVER, and her iddle world will crumble. Again.