lkh_lashouts | Blogflog: "The New Orleans Effect"

Link: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2006/11/new-orleans-effect.html

Am I the only one that's still feeling the effects of New Orleans? What effect? Well, inappropriate thoughts that want to come out your mouth as actual words, and do.

Hey, man. Don't blame a completely innocent city for your rotted brain and failing vocabulary. NO's been through enough.

I'm not usually that good at quippy double entendres, except on paper, but there must be something in the air in New Orleans that gives you this questionable ability.

Oh great. Anyone else foresee Anita going down to New Orleans (whatever happened to Elan Vital anyway?) and suddenly gaining the Power of Verbosity?

And her quippiness died out… well, a long time ago. Bloody Bones, maybe? Earlier. Now she just recycles Anita's phrases like she does her men. LKH, some things are better if you only use them once.

But something about New Orleans takes that little conductor in your head that goes, yes or no, on what you're about to say, and ties him up and puts him in the closet.

No, LKH, that's just you. You excel at depowering men and putting them in the closet. And now, a moment of silence for the faded glory of Jean-Claude and Asher.

Also, somewhat telling, isn't it, that Uber-Feminist has a MALE censor?

I have been reduced to utter silence by the presence of my own child, because thought after thought is inappropriate in front of her.

Memo to Trinity: Be thankful.

Memo to LKH: Your books are inappropriate for your daughter. It's not really surprising that your thoughts would be too.

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English is my second languaje. I learned when I was about eleven so I've got English and Spanish garbled up in my brain so bad that my grammar is just awful. Nevertheless, when I read anything that LKH has written, I get an urge to grab a red pen and just *fix* it.

"But something about New Orleans takes that little conductor in your head that goes, yes or no, on what you're about to say, and ties him up and puts him in the closet."

But something about New Orleans takes that little conductor in your head that goes yes or no on what you're about to say and ties him up and puts him in the closet.

There shouldn't be any commas there right?

If I were to attempt to fix it, i would change it as follows:

But there's something about New Orleans that takes the little conductor in your head that controls what you say and ties him up, and then puts him in the closet.

For me, there just isn't a way to make her original sentence correct, lol.
Her 'flow' as i like to call it, is terrible. And there's nothing as annoying as when someone uses the term "goes" for "says" or "does." Your English is far better than LKH's :)

I'd probably write it "but something about New Orleans takes that little conductor in your head who says yes or no on what you're about to say, and ties him up and puts him in the closet" if I were to write that sentence at all, but that's just because I automatically put the pause in after "what you're about to say".

There are two ways I'd do it. The first doesn't do much to change her original wording.

~~But~~ Something about New Orleans takes ~~that~~ that little conductor in your head, ~~that goes,~~ who says yes or no, on what you're about to say, and ties him up and puts him in the closet."

The second way does more drastic changing.
The little conductor in your head who edits what you think into what you say is gone. Something in New Orleans has tied him up and put him in the closet.

Or there is a third way, but it seems a little clunky for my tastes.
Something about New Orleans takes the little conductor in your head, the one who edits what you think before you say it, and it ties him up and puts him in the closet."

I'm just happy that JC and Asher are in the same closet...even depowered, they'll find something to do.

you win the internet.

She can't speak in front of her own child? This is alarming. The poor kid is going to have such a messed up idea of what's alright to talk about. Just think what's going to happen when Trinity does get ahold of one of Mommy's great works of literature.

For somebody who is always talking fee speech, feminism and empowering women to feel okay talking about sex, she sure doesn't really seem to practice it much in her day to day. Now I'm not suggesting she sit the kid down and tell her all about the wonders of Micah-size, but she does seem to be overly prudish worrying about making double entendres, which Trinity is only going to recognize as such if she already knows about it.

Just think what's going to happen when Trinity does get ahold of one of Mommy's great works of literature.

Especially once she figures out that Micah of the Giant Member is basically the stand-in for her stepdad. Can you say "years of therapy"?

Oh God, I never even thought about that.

Amen, sister. Amen.

Dear New Orleans,

There's something about you lying ass over tea kettle, skirt 'round your ears, and slightly decrepit that makes me want to shaft you - if I was into that lesbian stuff. Which I'm not. I just like to think about it and then shut up real fast in order to preserve my daughter's purity.

Love, LKH.

_____

Maybe I'm making a big deal about Katrina. But I can't be the only one who thinks that remarks about New Orleans -still having it- should be incorporated about what makes the place so special and resourceful. And that a well known author might want to give the place a little encouragement for tourism via her blog and say something about 'It still has the ability to make you feel uninhibited. The affect lasts for days. Go on. You'll absolutely enjoy yourself. New Orleans is and always be The Big Easy.'

Y'know, I'm just not gonna respond to any flogs where she mentions NOLA cause it gets me too pissed off. I'm too touchy on the subject and take things too seriously.

"Am I the only one that's still feeling the effects of New Orleans?"

I'm more interested in knowing if New Orleans is still feeling the effects of LKH.

Am I the only one that's still feeling the effects of New Orleans?

Aside from the thousands of displaced locals who are still without homes, the relatives of people who died there, the businesses that were damaged or destroyed and may never fully recover....

Jesus Christ. Step out of your fucking ivory tower, bitch. That's possibly the most insensitive comment I've ever heard.

(I'm from Michigan and was not personally affected by the disaster, and even I know there are many, many, MANY people who will feel the aftermath for the rest of their lives. "The only one," my ass.)

Blogflog: "The New Orleans Effect"

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