BookFlog / Book Review

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

"The latest on best-seller Hamilton's series featuring Meredith Gentry, the fairie princess/PI in the Unseelie Court, reads sorta like fan fiction."




"Newbies will struggle to digest the plot; In exchange for the lives of captured enemies, Gentry bets her evil Aunt Adais, Queen of Air and Darknesss, that she can bring back to life their long-dead gardens--and produce an heir-- by boinking the guards, washed-up jester Abeloec and rough 'n' ready Mistral. But everyone will enjoy the marathon, 40-page opening sex scene. While we bow to proud Merry's stamina, we'd love to see her lead men (or goblins) into battle with more than just her sex appeal." C+

-- Entertainment Weekly's (#910, Dec 8 2006) Mandi Bierly

_____________

Seems pretty damn insulting to fanfiction to me. But look it's not just us who are 'total haters, omg we suck'

Comments

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

I'unno, I got turned off to fanfiction real damn fast due to rampant Mary Sueism. :P I know there's probably lots of good fanfic out there, but...there's also a tonne of craptastic shit too.

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

Sadly, there is also a lot of craptastic shit published. Just see anything LKh has published in the last few years.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

And yes there's good fanfic and bad fanfic. But all fanfic shouldn't be associated with chapter opening 40 pages of sex. Worse yet 40 pages of badly written sex.

Because some of it is well written porn. I know it's spoiled me for vanilla published sex scenes.

[icequeen3.livejournal.com]

i have read some fanfic storys there are much better than the average book

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Hey! I like RA Salvatore! He made sense of George Lucas' 'Attack of the Clones!'

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

For half a second, I thought that read 'gouge your eyes out with red penises'. This is what happens when you're having comments about LKH>

[acostilow.livejournal.com]

Freakin' word.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I decided to go ahead and put up the whole review.

[acostilow.livejournal.com]

Still. I'm insulted for the sake of fanfiction.

Except maybe the tripe on fanfiction.net.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

if you are talking about real bad fanfic, you should mention adultfanfiction net as well ...
nice not so anatomically correct sex scenes, just what the LK.Hamilton readers are used to, and even worse, as hard as it is to imagine that worse ...

[acostilow.livejournal.com]

This is true. Very, very true.

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

if you are talking about real bad fanfic, you should mention adultfanfiction net as well ...

*Cries* 12 year olds using all the knowledge from sex ed class in smut. Joy oh bloody Joy.

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

*reads plot summary*

She is so not going to make it to the Seelie Court in this book. Or even the goblin court. Nope, that ONE NIGHT is going to be dragged out for another 300 freakin' pages.

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

yeah EW hates all of her books and rightfully so. they gave Cerulean sins a D.
:)

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

Seriously? I'm now totally in love with EW.

[randomsome1.livejournal.com]

Me too! :)

[icequeen3.livejournal.com]

rolls so funny
can sombody please post the link
it is too good to be true

[ambrmerlinus.livejournal.com]

Totally off-topic, but when I scroll up and down, that sparkly flame thing in your icon gets bigger and smaller. It's fascinating; I highly recommend it.

[icequeen3.livejournal.com]

???????????????????????????
what do you mean with gets bigger and smaller ?

[ambrmerlinus.livejournal.com]

It's an optical illusion type thing. They get big, and they get small. Like, take-up-more-space-on-the-black-backround big, and take-up-less-space-on-said-backround small.

[salveo-opes.livejournal.com]

Hallefuckinglujah!

*does happy dance and points to icon*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

*wipes away tear of mirth*

I think I nearly hurt myself laughing.

Lives of the enemies, oh man, that's a good one. For realz.

*goes back to laughing hysterically*

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

should have said bad fanfiction or just mentioned the mary-sue factor
there is a lot of good fanfiction out there, well ok there is a lot of bad fanfic out there, too but meh you can't have everything ...

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

40-page marathon opening sex scene?

O_O

[klmorgan.livejournal.com]

Srsly. Still stuck on that.

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I'm not even sure it's possible to write a good **40-page sex scene** in something that's actually supposed to be a novel and not just cheerfully proclaiming itself porn.

[defiler-wyrm.livejournal.com]

Ditto to that reaction. I can't fathom that much copy on a single freaking scene, ANY kind of scene.

[dracoliciousss.livejournal.com]

without the character names that LKH has created, no one would be able to tell the difference between her published work and a 13-year-old's wish-fulfillment mary sue. Maybe that's why she comes up with so many new characters! In the hopes that no one will notice that they just keep overlapping the same, tired Anita-Is-The-Best-EVAR! plot. I think i've just made a discovery, lol

Great find, witchwillow!!

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

Most people who aren't into fanfiction are exposed to it at places like ffnet...so, I'd say that she'd be pretty accurate in comparing it to a LKH novel.

::shamelessly posts at ffnet solely for reviews::

Also, I think we should send this reviewer a fruit basket.

[dracoliciousss.livejournal.com]

*snicker* she's out of her depth if we send french cheeses...i don't think the fangirl to french dictionary covers those.

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

Naw aw, man. Then she may think the names for the cheeses are "OMFGCOOL" and name her characters after them! =D! Can you see? Dark, brooding, long haired vampire "Fromage"

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

It's why Im hoping that she'll get into Italians soon.

..Wait.

....Oh GOD What did I just write? D=

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

Or worse.

You getting into her.

Vag Badger has a whole new meaning, now.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

That just makes me shudder and snicker at the same time.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

40 pages of sex. O_o That has got to be record. Can anyone else think of anything with 40 straight pages of sex? It should be submitted to Guinness Book for "longest continuous written sex scene".

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Why did you remind me?

Seriously, that's all fore play and build up to the main bang, so to speak thus, I think the blood cookies snow whiter than white, etc. still count towards the sex page count.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the editor is going to get told to leave the flundreds in because it's part of LKH's vision.

It really is a surprise to me. I thought there couldn't possibly be anything worse after the wet tight of DM but then she just has to go and pull out something even worse.

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

The review for Cerulean Sins (available on the website) is just priceless, too:

Crass, repetitive, and shoddily constructed, Sins reads like a failed manuscript from an amateur Goth-writing workshop. Which is surprising, considering this book is the 11th installment in Hamilton's best-selling series starring Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter. Narrated by boorish heroine Blake, Sins wants desperately to match the wit and complexity of such genre pillars as Buffy and the Anne Rice chronicles, only to flounder in irritating platitudes, insipid filler, and pointless, drawn-out scenes of deus ex sexina. When the final page comes at long last, and Blake once again saves the day, you've learned but one thing: Hamilton's loudmouthed bark does not make up for her nonexistent bite. Grade: D

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

deus ex sexina that's an inspired way to describe Anita in three words or less.