Curious about this for awhile...

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

It's been said in many places by different people that LKH's portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle is off. I know a bit more than just the basics - ah, the joys of reading - and can sort of inherently pick up that something isn't right with her depiction, but I can't really articulate it. I was just curious to hear from those who participate in the lifestyle, what they personally find offensive, frustrating, or just headdesk-worthy about LKH's portrayal. Perhaps they can help make it clearer to me why it feels amiss.

Comments

[dan-lian.livejournal.com]

Here's my issues with it:

I'm generally an all-around switch. I've been to BDSM conventions where I've had my ass smacked by porn stars and told it's fine--and where I've had guys ask if they can use a taser on me. I've help set up a dungeon, which had everything from a padded area for "puppy play" to cages, slings, crosses, wheels, and spanking benches. I watched girls get fisted in a huge public room and guys get massaged and hot wax poured on them. LKH just limits her BDSM scope to multiple partners, biting, and hard sex. Umm... no. That's just hard sex, mmkaythnx?

Where, as someone else said, is the okay-ness with leashes? With the hot wax, the nipple clamps, the mental bondage? I've found that mental bondage -- "Kneel like that until I tell you to move"--can be incredible. Where's the blindfolds and the velvet, or the fur or the leather or the silk?

I have floggers I take great pride and joy in, and I've yet to see something so... elementary? cliche? even take a sentence in one of LKH's books. BDSM - Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. I'm not really seeing ANY of that...

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

What's interesting is that Anita/Merry claim to love all their men, but when you really examine the relationships they aren't romantic or loving at all--otherwise, as others have said, Anita would be more aware of their needs instead of so focused on herself all the time. It seems like more than anything Anita has just deluded herself and convinced herself that if she's having sex with these men, then it must be troo luv, because she doesn't want to face the fact that she's just a slut. By telling herself "oh, it;s okay, I love them!" she escapes guilt.