Curious about this for awhile...

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

It's been said in many places by different people that LKH's portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle is off. I know a bit more than just the basics - ah, the joys of reading - and can sort of inherently pick up that something isn't right with her depiction, but I can't really articulate it. I was just curious to hear from those who participate in the lifestyle, what they personally find offensive, frustrating, or just headdesk-worthy about LKH's portrayal. Perhaps they can help make it clearer to me why it feels amiss.

Comments

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

What is depicted in the series is not BDSM and to say that it is means that LKH has no actual real world experience in the world of BDSM. I think that she trapped herself into a corner when she started discussing Nathanial's background and playing it up in any of the books. She picked a background that sounded pathetic enough that we would go "awww" and immediately want to protect him. However, when she started to blow this up into a real background, the holes start to show through.

NiC shows this in spades. The fact that someone wasn't watching over Nathanial, that someone wasn't monitoring that a safeword wasn't being screamed. At every BDSM club that I've been to, there has been at least one person floating to make sure that no one was being pushed too far and that limits are respected. If she wants to continue down this road, she needs to do some research. Communities tend to be open and welcoming and willing to answer questions. She just needs to ask!

She pretends to be edgy, to be hardcore but she misses out on some of the basic principles: trust, respect, safewords. And those are only some of the things that she should be thinking about. Even a cursory reading of some of the BDSM-centric fics on the 'net will show these principles, or at least the better ones do. Just like reading a couple of gay fics will tell you that you need to lube first.

Her first encounter with Micah, her most significant submissive partner (and least developed character) involved a rather large bout of non-con. Intellect tells us that this is a relationship that should have shattered instantly. She said no and he went on anyway.

LKH seems to return to non-con/semi-non-con on a regular basis in both of her series. The main character loses all control over who they have as a partner, though for different reasons and while that is a kink (rape / rape-fantasy), it's technically not part of BDSM.

To be honest, I think that LKH is less including BDSM and more including Kink and very, very bad sex. But that's just my humble opinion - feel free to pick as appropiate.