Curious about this for awhile...

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

It's been said in many places by different people that LKH's portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle is off. I know a bit more than just the basics - ah, the joys of reading - and can sort of inherently pick up that something isn't right with her depiction, but I can't really articulate it. I was just curious to hear from those who participate in the lifestyle, what they personally find offensive, frustrating, or just headdesk-worthy about LKH's portrayal. Perhaps they can help make it clearer to me why it feels amiss.

Comments

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

My biggest problem on Nathaniel is that I'm not really certain that he qualifies as a submissive, at all, and not just a person so abused that they expect to have to be abused to get any of the other perks in a relationship, like someone to look out for them, or comfort them AFTERWARDS...Someone interested in them for any OTHER reason but to use them.

While doing my research on this subject for my own writing, I ran into a few who had something in common with him. I also ran into a few who were profoundly amazed that getting what they ACTUALLY desired, emotionally, did not have to be prefaced by pain.

That is NOT to say that there are not true submissives, or those who truly get off on pain. There are. Simply that when you've got someone with that kind of history of abuse, it can well and truly muddy the waters.

THIS is one of the prime reasons that I felt how Anita came to use the Nathaniel character bordered on therapist misconduct, if not outright statutory rape. By all indications, the character has never gotten to explore relationships in which he's not being used or abused in some way, nor even the possibility of same.

-Dira-