The Damsel pokes her head out of the Ivory Tower

[pith]

Link: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2005/09/muse-driven-frustration.html
Entry title: Muse Driven Frustration

LKH in bold.

First of all, the title made me laugh. Stick a tiny little word in and it's true: Muse driven to frustration. Hey, I certainly wouldn't want to be her muse!

Too much news coverage of the terrible events in New Orleans. Needed something to try and take the mind off of things.

You mean the valiant Guards of the Ivory Tower let her glimpse the World Outside, where News happens? I am in shock.

I'm both amused and disturbed by the fact that she uses the royal we for herself & Anita, but an impersonal article for her own mind. That says a lot, really.

Also saw THE BROTHERS GRIM.

Mocking her mad typo skills is, at this point, far too easy. Perhaps it's my inner English major venting here, but if a fantasy author can't spell Grimm properly, that's damn sad. And she has the gall to bitch about "their use of fairytales"? I'm disappointed with her usage of the English language, let alone the stories she's 'crafted' with it.

The movie tried to do too much. Action adventure, buddy film, comedy, horror movie. A very ambitious mix for anyone to attempt, and sadly this movie just didn't pull it off.

Doesn't that basically sum up the Anita series for you? Then LKH found an easier genre: porn, laced with bad goth descriptions.

I got two book series out of the fact that people were just not doing things the way I wanted to read them.

Boo-fucking-hoo, chickie! Maybe there was a good reason no one was doing things the way you wanted them done: your way sucks, and not in the good vampiric way.

In addition, if her fans had a nickel for every time she spouted this argument... well, we'd at least be reimbursed for all the money we've dropped into her series.

You know, I realize we keep mocking the Ivory Tower*, but maybe we should be grateful for it, in a way. Whenever she interacts with the Real World, she just whines that nothing is done Her Way.

(* = Which leads me to think that we should make a name spoofing this as a subtitle for the community. The Ebony Tower? Nah. I'll think on it.)

Comments

[dragon-mouse.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps it's my inner English major venting here, but if a fantasy author can't spell Grimm properly, that's damn sad."

Especially since one part that they've put in the commercials even they come right out and say, "It's GRIMM. Two M's" Or something like that... Either way, they SPELL the name! :P

[demoncougar.livejournal.com]

Careful, she might "loose" her temper again over poor spelling! XD

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I read that entry this morning and wanted to scoop out my eyeballs with a rusty spoon.

Specially about the whining that the movie was Not! Her Way™. After the whole Underworld bagging that both she and Fanboy Jon gave, you'd think they'd learn not to see any movies again. Ever. Because other people will have the audacity to think, say, do and produce whatever the like that isn't to her version of the world. Death to them all, you might say Laurell, but that's probably going a little bit too far. So what will you do? Hit back by writing about it! YEAH! Vent all your anger on what they're doing wrong by writing it the way you think it should be. You do that Laurell.

I know I do that with your books. I get pissed off, think, "I can do better than that," and wind up writing half a novel and prune it back to a short story. Course, the difference between when I do it and she does it is that A) she gets it published almost immediately and B) her editors must commit suicide after laying eyes upon the sacred work. I've never driven an editor mad or to suicide. (It must be suicide, right? How else would you explain the fact that these things can go to publication?)

As for the Ivory Tower™ thing...hmm.

"Peasants laying seige to the Ivory Tower..."
"Readying the Battering Ram of Reality"

[pith]

"Readying the Battering Ram of Reality"

Until I had horrible Micah imagery, I was totally voting for that. Now... *shudder*

Excuse me. I need to wash out my brain.

[tsula.livejournal.com]

*offers some steel-wool*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

*brainbleaches* Gah! NOO! Okay, don't take any Micah-thinking words. Because you shouldn't cause seizures to people in your own group.

Score 1 for me not engaging my brain before I think of things.

[pith]

No worries. I should have caught on at "reality", because Micah is everything but that.

A pseudo-legacy slogan could be fun: "LKH Lashouts: laying seige to the Ivory Tower since 2005". (Well, the first post was December 2004, but that was just the intro. People actually started talking in 2005.)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

All you need then is a banner of an angry mob of peasants (complete with torches and pitchforks) storming something.

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! A Terry Pratchett-y mob of angry peasants? ;)

[pith]

Complete with the curious food carts of dubious quality that mysteriously pop up to feed said mob? *g*

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

Hey, Dibbler's gotta make a living somehow! (And he's cuttin' his own throat here, y'know.) ;)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I think one of my friends has one of those. A pic of a Pratchett mob, not an actual Pratchett mob. Cuz she's a huuuuge Discworld fan.

I like going to the plays. Though, much amusement over one with a New Guy playing Vimes. "Hey, when did Vimes get a nipple-ring?"

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

EWWW!!!! Micah, yuck! Now I need to squeegee my brain=(

[http://users.livejournal.com/belladonna_/]

"Ebony Tower" sounds like a big black dildo.

Oh god. If LKH heard about that, I'm sure it'd make an appearance in her next book.

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

. . .

Doyle.

. . .

So wrong.

I'm going to read bad slash now, just to make myself feel better.

[dragonfanguk.livejournal.com]

Oh Laurell...
She's such a strange and unique creature.
She should be locked away in a medical institution where she can be kept safe from everyone and everything.

I'm all for donating her to medical science...

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

porn, laced with bad goth descriptions

Bad 80s goth descriptions, no less. ::shudders::

I know this woman from the Lord of the Rings fandom who LKH reminds me of *so* much. She's this creepy, obsessive, self-entitled, smug asshat. They could be twins, personality-wise. Maybe that's why I love this snark so much.

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

I had this same sense of anger and frustration years ago about vampires, and then fairies.

Yeah, Laurell, the rest of us can empathize -- we all have that very same feeling whenever we read your novels. *smiles*

And also? Paragraphs. Great invention for when you want to end a thought and begin a new one. ;)

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Oh yes Laurell, because your way is the only way, the perfect way. You're the only one who can envision vampires and fairies.

And piggies fly.

Ebony tower is way too cool a title for anything to do with her of late...

-Dira-

[firesongvx.livejournal.com]

Ha, I'm all for the subtitle for the coummunity. Complete with a banner of angry peasants...bearing torches and spouting snarkage. Perhaps they can be carrying typewriters and laptops? XD

Another thing that was interesting about the general idiocy of that entry...

"You're supposed to use things as inspirations not rip them off, or regurgitate them on paper. You can be inspired but find your own voice, and your own unique vision. Because that's what it's all about. Your own take on an idea that no one else could do."

Not that it's anything new, but didn't she just completely contradict herself? I love that she wraps up an entire entry of bitching about how people Don't Write Things Her Way with this. ::snickers:: So, I guess what she means is, you can come up with your own "unique vision", and do "an idea that no one else could do"...but, unless it's in keeping with Her Vision, it's complete and utter crap. :P

Yeah, hypocrisy is fun!

(Side note...look, everybody, she spelled "regurgitate" properly! I'm so proud. ::wipes away a tear:: Snarking *that* particular bit is so easy, though, that I won't even say it. XD )

Also...harpergrey has an *excellent* point about paragraphs. Use them, dammit! ::gouges the blog::