Help with Christmas, lashers?

[bluesauce.livejournal.com]

So, the gauntlet has been thrown down, and I need some help in responding to it, if you'd be so kind.

The GM from my Buffy/Angel game gave out Christmas gifts yesterday; specifically, she gave me Anita Blake: First Death, and the Jean-Claude poster that she got at the comic shop with it(this one). Obviously, I cannot let this stand unanswered. :) We've both got a snarky love-hate of the series and the Doomcrotch; can anybody recommend something that'll really burn her eyes out of her head, preferably somehow related to fringe-y jackets, penii the size of 2-liter soda bottles, Dark Secret: Huge Wangst, or anything Vampire Hooker-ish? Thanks.

Comments

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

-a membership to the LKH fanclub? That's just cruel, lol
-A dozen white roses with one red one stuck in there, like Jean-Claude's creepy way of signifying sex?
-A copy of Danse Macabre that you've taken a sharpie to? You can cross out all the sex scenes so that the only remaining words are: "the, and, spill."
-An LKH-makeup kit? You can buy garish red lipstick, white powder, and black eyeliner.
-A little stuffed leopard...you can attach 50-feet of fake hair to the head and call it Nathaniel
-If you're going the comics route, take the book to the copy shop and blow up an 8 x 10 of Rafael with the huge ridiculous thighs. You can get a cheap frame and insist she hang it at work.

[bluesauce.livejournal.com]

I think that the leopard one will win out. Because that's just too good, too tacky, for me to pass up. :D

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

Hee, it's super tacky indeed! Bonus if you can find some poor stuffed leopard with unfortunate violet eyes. OT: Icon! A Sea of Storms, yes?

[bluesauce.livejournal.com]

A Clash of Kings, actually. Greyjoy family motto from A Song of Ice and Fire.

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

aaaahahahahahaaa!!!! :)))))))))))))))))))))

[longtail.livejournal.com]

"A little stuffed leopard...you can attach 50-feet of fake hair to the head and call it Nathaniel"

BWA HA HA HA HA!!! I almost spewed water over this one! Oh, I have to do this to a friend of mine, thanks for the idea!