Help with Christmas, lashers?

[bluesauce.livejournal.com]

So, the gauntlet has been thrown down, and I need some help in responding to it, if you'd be so kind.

The GM from my Buffy/Angel game gave out Christmas gifts yesterday; specifically, she gave me Anita Blake: First Death, and the Jean-Claude poster that she got at the comic shop with it(this one). Obviously, I cannot let this stand unanswered. :) We've both got a snarky love-hate of the series and the Doomcrotch; can anybody recommend something that'll really burn her eyes out of her head, preferably somehow related to fringe-y jackets, penii the size of 2-liter soda bottles, Dark Secret: Huge Wangst, or anything Vampire Hooker-ish? Thanks.

Comments

[hellozombies.livejournal.com]

I don't have any creative ideas, but in regards to the poster...is it just me or is Jean-Claude incredibly unsexy? Like, "Oh my God, run, find shelter, flee!" unsexy?

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

He looks like a flayed, bleached cadaver with a boybander's face pastede on.

[relmneiko.livejournal.com]

When I look at that picture, I feel like he should be hot... but he's not. O.o