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easol.livejournal.com) wrote in
lkh_lashouts2008-01-05 01:39 pm
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Verbal annoyances
Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.
Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.
Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?
"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.
"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?
Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.
Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?
Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.
Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?
"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.
"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?
Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.
Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?
no subject
"can't rape the willing" - WTF is this supposed to mean, anyway? Nothing pleasant, that's for damn sure.
And they aren't exactly verbal tics, but wtf is with the biting and scratching ALL THE TIME?
I mean, I like biting. I bite in bed. The difference is that when I bite, the worst I leave is a purple hickey, not a bloody gaping wound like she does.
Ditto with scratching. I have long, sharp fingernails, and I like scratching lovers too. But I have NEVER raked bloody furrows down somebody's skin. And outside of the obvious BDSM situations, what sane human being actually does do that kind of damage to their lovers? In fact, even most kinksters wouldn't be into that.
She's supposed to be little Ms. Vanilla Good Girl, and she does this stuff? Once again, does not compute.
And she needs to cut it out with the screaming, too. Normal people do not hit the decibel level of a jet engine just because they're having an orgasm.
no subject
One tic that bugs me is 'eating me from the mouth down' and her freakin' beasts always moving around like 'fur on the inside of your brain' or whatever part. It's not just the same sayings but the same things - her beast running up that long hallway, crashing against her skin, rubbing against someone elses beast, wanting to taste blood, *yawn* on and on. Find something new to write about - resolve this beast bs and move on.
The other tic is how she gives that look that everyone knows she means business - she'll pull the trigger. It's the biggest baddest deadliest look evah because everyone backs down from it. Ma Petite Moron is serious! Oh good grief - next she'll have laser eyeballs.
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Change is Anita added another power but never learning to control her old ones, adding another lover while none of the old ones move, adding another beast that runs around inside her, adding another were group to be a bad queen of, having the same argument with Richard.
It's Deja Vu all over again.
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Oh my god. Remember when she was doing Asher (uh, the first time she was doing Asher). It was like, no. No. You're screwing him because you have no other choice. If that gets you off, then fine. But if you can't honestly say no, if saying no is not an option, then this is still rape, it just isn't violent rape. [/rant]
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Ignoring Micah, I don't actually hate the male characters of this series. I think they just need to be rescued. It makes me so sad. :'(
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Who should rescue them, ya think? I'm thinking a deprogrammer might be good...
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And maybe Anne or Mary or Brittany actually goes to work, will choose a (singular) boyfriend, and actually treats him well.
That would piss off Anita something fierce. LOL.