Verbal annoyances

[easol.livejournal.com]

Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.

Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.

Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?

"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.

"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?

Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?

Comments

[lannamichaels]

"can't rape the willing" - WTF is this supposed to mean, anyway? Nothing pleasant, that's for damn sure.

Oh my god. Remember when she was doing Asher (uh, the first time she was doing Asher). It was like, no. No. You're screwing him because you have no other choice. If that gets you off, then fine. But if you can't honestly say no, if saying no is not an option, then this is still rape, it just isn't violent rape. [/rant]

[easol.livejournal.com]

And he wasn't totally willing either. He tried to run away and she grabbed him!

[hellozombies.livejournal.com]

Poor, poor Asher.

Ignoring Micah, I don't actually hate the male characters of this series. I think they just need to be rescued. It makes me so sad. :'(

[easol.livejournal.com]

I know, I felt the same way. He's practically crawling up the air ducts, saying that he's leaving and he won't have sex with her because she's just going to play heart-hackysack. And Whorenita's hanging on to him and blocking the door, just because she's horny and wants to prove what a WUNNNDDERFFFULLLL person she is.

Who should rescue them, ya think? I'm thinking a deprogrammer might be good...

[hellozombies.livejournal.com]

I think we need to enlist the help of a new female character. Maybe she's tall, tan, blonde-haired and blue-eyed. Maybe her name is something very normal--Anne, or Mary, or even--dare I say it?--Brittany.

And maybe Anne or Mary or Brittany actually goes to work, will choose a (singular) boyfriend, and actually treats him well.

That would piss off Anita something fierce. LOL.