http://easol.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] easol.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] lkh_lashouts2008-01-23 04:25 am

Reality lines are blurring

First, I must complain that LKH is taking ALL the stuff I love and rambling about it. Now it's Fido! WAH!

Anyway, I had to flog this blog because it's just so damn creepy. I don't know if this woman realizes how unspeakably creepy it is that she talks about her Mary Sue as if she were living in her own little world. Which she is, but not in quite thew same way.

http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/01/some-wounds-never-heal.html




No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
Robert Frost


Does it shock anyone that the next line is "No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader"?

Frost is one of my favorite American poets. There are poems of his that I reread periodically.

Ye gods! She reads something besides the captions on TV! Now if only we could make her read her OWN stuff.

It's always nice when one of your literary heroes agrees with your own philosophy of writing.

I must have missed the "pomes" where Frost went on about giant penii, subservient girly-men, and the utter joy of serving the Crotch.

Of course, perhaps reading his work when I was in my mid-teens helped shape my own attitude towards writing.

See, people? She's REALLY REALLY, like, deep and stuff! She reads POEMS and things! I bet she like, wears black nail polish and listens to, like, GOTH music!

If you haven't finished the book, this is your last chance to stop reading and save the surprise, no, the shock.

I'm not sure what is shocking about ANY addict ending up badly...

Okay, I have to assume if you're still reading, you know what I'm about to type. Here goes: Seeing Ron Lim's art, with Phillip chained against the wall, so helpless, so hopeless, really hurt me.

Ironic. Sounds more like something Anita would find a major turn-on, be so very shocked and yet titillated by it, and give Phillip healing sex.

It's been over ten years since I wrote GUILTY PLEASURES. Over a decade since I created Phillip,

Yes, folks, a decade is ten years. And by the way, it's more like fifteen years now, but I don't think LKH wants to think about that.

and had to watch him die.

How do you watch someone die if they, you know, exist only in book pages?

And this, folks, is where it starts getting a little odd.

I didn't know he was going to die until about a paragraph before Anita found him dead. I thought, until the last possible moment, we'd save him. But we didn't, we couldn't. It was the first time I cried for one of my characters.

Well, given that this was her first (original) novel, and nobody "good" had died before, that's somehow not very surprising, IMHO.

And it doesn't surprise me that she was running into this at random. Again, I cannot help but wonder if there was some input from her ex, because in a better author's works, this would be a turning point emotionally. And not for Teh Sex Buddies.

I cried for his death. I cried because we couldn't save him. I cried because he'd been trying to get his life together, and making some progress, and now all of his chances were gone.

Okay, two things:
1. Who is "we"?
2. Is LKH aware that Phillip COULD NOT have any more chances, or get his life together, because ultimately he was a collection of words on a page? At best, an idea?
3. Furthermore, is she aware that she COULD have "saved" him had she wanted, especially since she magically "saves" all Anita's penii via ridiculous methods in recent books? And therefore, she is just being all melodramatic again?

Ron's art reminded me that Phillip didn't expect to be saved. He gave up before Anita did, before I did. It was all there in Phillip's eyes

Of course, her opinions may be clouded by the fact that she now KNOWS that he's gonna croak. Moreover, REALITY LINES BLURRED ALERT.

Of all the people we've lost in the books, Phillip's death hurt me and Anita the most. That pain, those shed tears, are probably one of the main reasons we have a cast of dozens but few deaths of main characters. It hurt too much.

That, and since she can't separate reality and fantasy, she made a pwomise to her heroine to never kill off the penii. All others are expendable.

I told them how his art had effected me,

AFFECTED, dammit.

and assured him that I was sane about all the other characters.

Did she mention the part where she talks to them and they talk back, she buys presents for them, makes promises to them, refers to her pain with Anita's, etc?

I guess it was a complement.

ComPLIMent, dammit.

I miss Phillip. I miss him almost like a friend that died young. You think about them every once in awhile.

Oh, here we go again. Aren't there any characters, except those evil jellus bigots, whom she doesn't obsess on?

What would have changed in Anita's life if Phillip had survived that first book? Would we be looking at him as her one and only boyfriend, and would he have taken up too much room for Jean-Claude to invade? Or would it just have been Richard who wouldn't have found enough room to be in her life?

Or would he have become another doe-eyed long-haired walking penis, drifting through the house in the forlorn hope that Anita will boink him today, because he loves her soooooo much, and her LUUUUUUUV saved him from his addictions and traumas and blah blah blah?

Anita still dreams of him, and his death, and her failure.

Okay, creepy.. It's very, very weird that she refers to her character "dreaming" in the present tense as if this person lives in her house. Ye damns.

Because that's how she sees it, as her failure.

And as a lost chance to shag yet another broken, sexually traumatized, long-haired, ginormously-hung stripper.

We killed those that murdered him. We've had all the revenge we can have for Phillip. It didn't bring him back. It never does. More's the pity.

Somehow I can imagine LKH rocking to and fro in her darkened office, grinning maniacally at the screen and muttering, "We did it, precious. We killed them all, killed them, bathed in their blood, precious... we gots our revenge, precious..."

[identity profile] othellia.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
Three dimensional characters who live in your head? Awesome. A semi-real world? Cool! A real world with characters who talk to you, that you talk back to, that you treat as if they're your bestest twue blue friends? The men in the white coats are coming, haha!

That's what I constantly don't get about this whole blog. If she has characters that talk inside her head and change the story around, why can't she have Phillip talk to her? It'd be easy enough to make a head canon where all of the characters knew they were characters, dead ones come back to life, and plot bunnies run rampant. Heck... Maybe if she had something like that in her head she'd realize that:

A. Characters don't just vanish forever once they die in a story.
B. Characters can be very fun to kill off with the right attitude. :D

But that's just me, and for all I know I could be as crazy as LKH is... though I really hope I'm not.

[identity profile] gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 08:18 am (UTC)(link)
You're totally right. LKH makes it hard for me to talk about my characters because she's so batshit crazy it makes all of us look bad.

When I'm writing, the characters for that story are vivid and very "present". But the second the story is done, they fade away.

If they stuck around, I'd be on my way to the shrink asap!

[identity profile] gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 08:21 am (UTC)(link)
Seriously stupid. I expected something graphic and tormented. Instead he looks like a pouty little boy.

UGH!

[identity profile] leggomylegolas.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 01:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I can understand that, definitely. But it's like she doesn't even want to take responsibility for the fact that she came up with the plot that required it in the first place. She's all "~*~*~*I'm just the VESSEL!!~*~*~*" about it. It's pretty childish.

[identity profile] kerame.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
What's particularly galling about this blog, is that she previously wrote a blog full of anger at her grandmother for her continuing grief over the death of her own daughter, and another where she was angry that she wasn't the center of attention at her mother's funeral.

I don't think she's capable of real grief, only self-pity. Oh woe is her, Anita lost one member of the penii-parade.

[identity profile] saucyirishlass.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, how horrible for Anita.

[identity profile] novadivine.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I may be completely mistaken, but in one of those early books, doesn't Anita say that some character reminds her of Philip? But yeah, I remember him only being mentioned in passing.

[identity profile] bluesauce.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, but they're not dark, not creepy, and frankly the icon is adorable!

[identity profile] maladaptive.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I would just like to say that your icon is perfect. Is it snaggable?

The whole idea of failing to save a character is a bit odd to me, but then I usually cheer when I manage to kill off characters who need to die, since I so rarely construct stories where they do.

[identity profile] tenaya-owlcat.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 04:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Yep, icon is snaggable. Credit goes to [livejournal.com profile] peaces_icons, which you should check out because her icons are wonderful. :)

[identity profile] bluesauce.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That's why you rule!

I think that a mutual friend of ours would skirt the line a little bit, but we know he's got a firm grip on himself, which Hamilton doesn't come off as having.

[identity profile] knowthyself.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, there's a big leap between outright nuts and letting your characters have a little too long of a leash. He's cool. :)

[identity profile] daphne-gateau.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I recall this out of the haze of past books also. I *think* it was Jason (but maybe Nate?) and she was noting similarities between their confidence with women and annoying flirtations. Maybe that they were both strippers. It wasn't a nostalgic trip down I Miss Phillip Lane.

[identity profile] voguexcouture.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
If you can answer that I'll give you a cookie. ^^

Anyhow, I feel the same way. I mean I know the characters are fake, but sometimes it's emotional for an author. I just understand how people can think they are real. *shrugs* LKH is crazy. Point. Blank.

[identity profile] voguexcouture.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I honestly think it's shit.

[identity profile] voguexcouture.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Is it just me or doe Jean-Claude and all other characters in the comics look stupid? I mean the muscles are ridiculous. It's almost like you want to stop looking because something might pop you in the eye.

Phillip's artwork is shit. Seriously. I mean yes he is supposed to be scarred, but that doesn't look like scars to me. >>

Re: We are confused

[identity profile] icecreamempress.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I am with you. THERE IS NO 'WE', LAURELL! ANITA IS A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION!

God, sometimes she just makes you want to shake her, doesn't she?

[identity profile] icecreamempress.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, yes, yes!!!! That's the real kooksign to me--that she sees actual grieving over a real-life bereavement as inappropriate, and this kind of nonsense as laudable.

[identity profile] clover-elf-kin.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I went looking for the mentioned-by-name instances and oddly enough, found something that almost sounds like LKH has a point.

Circus of the Damned, p 96-97 (in my e-book, at least--can't find the paper copy)

[Richard] grinned at me. "Now we're getting somewhere. The Executioner collects stuffed toys. I like it."

"Glad to hear it." My voice sounded grumpy even to me.

"What's wrong?" he said.

"I'm not very good at small talk," I said.

"You were doing fine."

No, I wasn't, but I wasn't sure how to explain it to him. I didn't like talking about myself to strangers. Especially strangers with ties to Jean-Claude.

"What do you want from me?" I said.

"I'm just passing the time."

"No, you weren't." His shoulder-length hair had fallen around his face. He was taller, thicker, but the outline was familiar. He looked like Phillip in the shadowed dark. Phillip was the only other human being I'd ever seen with the monsters.

Phillip sagged in the chains. Blood poured in a bright red flood down his chest. It splattered onto the floor, like rain. Torchlight glittered on the wet bone of his spine. Someone had ripped his throat out.

I staggered against the wall as if someone had hit me. I couldn't get enough air. Someone kept whispering, "Oh, God, oh, God," over and over, and it was me. I walked down the steps with my back pressed against the wall. I couldn't take my eyes from him. Couldn't look away. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't cry.

The torchlight reflected in his eyes, giving the illusion of movement. A scream built in my gut and spilled out my throat. "Phillip!"


Something cold slithered up my spine. I was sitting in my car with the ghost of guilty conscience. It hadn't been my fault that Phillip died. I certainly didn't kill him, but . . . but I still felt guilty. Someone should have saved him, and since I was the last one with a chance to do it, it should have been me. Guilt is a many splendored thing.


And yet, in The Lunatic Cafe, ONE book later...

(page 73) The sweater was too long for my leather jacket, so I was back in my black trench coat. Me and Phillip Marlowe.

...that's it. No angst, no wailing over another man named Phillip, not another word on the topic.

[identity profile] terrie01.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, yeah. Sometimes it's fun to play "Smoosh the character." I also RP, and I've had moments where it was totally IC to do something stupid and I just shrugged and jumped right into it, while everyone else looked at me and went "Wow. I can't believe you just did that. You are so totally going to die." And I'm thinking "I know. Isn't it great?"

[identity profile] allichaton.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
New to the blog as well as the community...and good lord.

As a writer, I've had to kill characters that I love before, and it's terrible. But it's also a choice. I have chosen to kill characters, but never once "failed to save" one. Jeez. (And I'm certainly not traumatized by them, especially over a decade later...)

Way to take responsibility for the things you write. If a character's death is that hard for you to face? Simple solution. Just don't write it. I know I have a couple characters I will never, ever kill, because I love them way too much.

I don't really understand how she can "miss" him so desperately. Seems to me there's a real easy solution to that -- just jump backwards in the timeline to a point where he's still alive and write a short story about him or something, for crying out loud.

And, y'know, I've been writing about some of my characters for more than five years. I know them quite well, to the point that I know how they would react to something. This occasionally leads to having mental "discussions" with them -- but I'm well aware that the only place they actually exist is in my own head. Buying gifts for them? Come on.

I knew her writing was a joke, but I had no idea she was this whacked. I see I've found a way to fill my daily WTF quota, and then some...

[identity profile] terrie01.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Ignoring the bits that others have commented on and focusing on his expression, he mainly looks tired or maybe hungover, not tortured.

[identity profile] terrie01.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Except that Philip Marlowe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Marlowe) is an old Raymond Chandler character.

[identity profile] terrie01.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
As noted in another comment, the difference between writers and crazy writers is that the first go into that headspace when the work demands it. Crazy writers live there.

Just goes to show that crazy is normal behavior taken to abnormal extremes.

[identity profile] recrudescence.livejournal.com 2008-01-24 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
OT, but I love the Serenity gag reel so much.

And LKH has a long way to go before she reaches Anne Rice heights of crazy, which is both comforting and disturbing.

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