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[demoncougar.livejournal.com]

Yet another Blog Flog.



Ah, the arduer. This is an Edward novellite, but that doesn't mean the arduer is gone completely.

WHY NOT?!?! No, really. The Ardeur is one of the most ill-concieved, poorly-written ANTI-plot device in history. I mean...okay, I think it COULD have been okay...had it not totally derailed...uhhhh...EVERYTHING, and made it all grotesque pornography.

I know that there is a group of fans that want Anita and Edward to get together in a more than just friends way. Not going to happen.

THANK FUCK. Pun intended.

Not to mention that we just don't think of him that way, nor he us.

Who here is creeped by the "nor he us" part? 'Cause, as cool as Edward is as a character, it scares me that LKH treats him as a REAL PERSON.

Actually it creeps me the hell out that she acts like ALL her characters are real people, when...they're NOT.

We've got him tied up in St. Louis with testimony in a child custody case for a lycanthrope that's in danger of loosing their kids.

Okay...WHAT???? I mean, uhh...WHAT? He's tied up doing WHAT? Who shot who in the what now???

Also...LOSE, not LOOSE!!! In danger of LOSING her kids! LKH, when you type LOOSE, you LOSE!!!

I've found that if a book is going well, then I hit a scene and it isn't going well, that there's something wrong with that scene. Sometimes, you don't need the scene.

It saddens me that she has the intelligence and foresight to see this fact when it's about a NOT-sex scene, but she feels that she HAS to write EVERY. DAMN. SEX. SCENE. EVER. I mean, I for one would appreciate an occasional fade-to-black so we can get back to PLOT STUFF.

I think we'll even go to see the local master of the city without the boys.

Holy crap, she remembered that cities have master vampires!!! There may be hope for us yet!!!

Nathaniel and Jason are getting to see a lot of the hotel room.

Now...I will admit this right here, I do hope Anita walks in on Jason doing Nathaniel or something. But, alas, LKH's aversion to homosexual stuff makes it so not likely as to be sad.

They'll get their time on stage, and we will feed, there will be sex, but the majority of the novellite has to be about Edward and the mystery.

Note her wording: WE will feed. SHE GETS SCARIER EVERY BLOG ENTRY, I swear.

Though I am somewhat heartened that she might attempt a plot in this one.

I guess the character who the novellite is mostly about will dictate the flavor of the book. Interesting.

She GUESSES that. She didn't KNOW that. HOLY CRAP, I HAVE THE FEAR.

Comments

[sometimeskate.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of someone sent to therapy for attachment issues who ends up obsessively attached to said therapist. Now in a healthy professional relationship, the therapist either ends it or enforces space. In this case, the therapist has been sucked in completely and become part of the problem.


Anita Blake: Screwing up theraputic writing since 'Obsidian Butterfly'

(Yes, it was getting a bit odd before that, but Obsidian Butterfly is the book where I turned to my husband and asked why was it that =everyone= wanted to sleep with Anita?)

[demoncougar.livejournal.com]

and asked why was it that =everyone= wanted to sleep with Anita?

Because LKH thinks of Anita as an extension of herself, and LKH is incredibly insecure and feels that every man MUST lust after her. Since that isn't how Real Life works, she makes it up to boost her ego.

That's my theory. :P

[larathia.livejournal.com]

Who here is creeped by the "nor he us" part? 'Cause, as cool as Edward is as a character, it scares me that LKH treats him as a REAL PERSON.

Actually it creeps me the hell out that she acts like ALL her characters are real people, when...they're NOT.

...They are to her. And that's something that happens to a lot of writers. It can be a very good thing - a real person has depth, has complexity, has motivations beyond the author's personal preferences.

It USED TO BE that this showed itself to its fullest in the Anita Blake novels. Did you ever read the earlier ones? Did it not feel like every character had his or her own LIFE, that Anita might not necessarily know squat about? That they ALL had motivations of their own, whether it showed up in text or not? That they had reasons for being (okay, LKH has never been that good at this one) other than to be the Bad Guy or Good Guy?

The problem is that Anita Blake has become a self insertion. And LKH, in doing that, can't let Anita be hurt because that's hurting HERSELF. And because she's the writer and can therefore dictate the story, the story warps to be All About Anita. Characters that used to have life and independent existences now exist merely to laud and magnify Anita, whether willingly or no.

...I used to adore Edward. I really did. You could see it, hear it, that he didn't give a rat's ass about Anita at all. He just got to kill more critters if he took her side - and at the same time, see for himself how she worked in case he ever decided to take her on personally. There were reasons that made sense to Edward's brain.

By the end of Obsidian Butterfly, he'd been sucked into the web of OMGANITAISGODONEARTH...I don't know if I'll be able to bear whatever he's been turned into.

But I do know that if Edward ever sleeps with Anita, the core of that character hasn't just been withered, it's been completely gutted.

[tyger-raven.livejournal.com]

We've got him tied up in St. Louis with testimony in a child custody case for a lycanthrope that's in danger of loosing their kids.

Okay...WHAT???? I mean, uhh...WHAT? He's tied up doing WHAT? Who shot who in the what now???

Also...LOSE, not LOOSE!!! In danger of LOSING her kids! LKH, when you type LOOSE, you LOSE!!!

OMG!! I love you. This just made me have a giggle fit. I agree with your whole flog, but this was for me the best!!

[demoncougar.livejournal.com]

LOL! *bows* Glad ya liked! :)

[lovedstrangely.livejournal.com]

It doesn't bother me that she'll think of him as real, or any of her characters whilst writing hte freaking book...but um, i'm more concerned about the royal plural here. "we" will feed. "nor he US". laurell sounds like she's starting to think her and anita are one and the same, anmd not just in the convetional author/avatar relationship.


CREEEEEEEEEEEPY.

[vanity-lost.livejournal.com]

Starting to think she and Anita are the same person? She's thought that for a while now. And it just keeps getting more and more creepifying with each 'we' and 'us.'

First clue was when she promised Anita that she'd never ever kill someone Anita cared about ever again. Well, okay, the first clue was probably the fact that she and Anita look alike, but still...

The royal we is just... *shudder* Someone call a therapist. Healthy fantasy life is one thing, but this? This is her just trying to out-crazy Ann Rice.

note to self: If writing a self-insert story, just admit it and do not use 'we' as it only freaks out the fans.

[http://users.livejournal.com/belladonna_/]

Yeah. For real. The "we" shit is waaay creep. ESPECIALLY when it's "we will feed." YIKES! If I were ol' Jon, I'd watch out in the bedroom...

[vanity-lost.livejournal.com]

Ah, the arduer. This is an Edward novellite, but that doesn't mean the arduer is gone completely.
So, is it ardeur or aduer?

... a lycanthrope that's in danger of loosing their kids.
Reminds me of "Loose the Kraken!" Now I have images of some lycanthrope loosing their demonspawn onto an unsuspecting coastal city.

I for one would appreciate an occasional fade-to-black so we can get back to PLOT STUFF.
But then we might notice that there is no Plot Stuff.

Edward Novel-lite:
Anita: Edward!
Edward: Hey. Lookit, there's a mystery and not enough ppl to killz...
Anita: Just a sec. *sexx0rz*
Jason/Nathaniel: *sex*
Master Vamp: Hey. I exist. Wanna sexx0rz?
Edward: Ahem.
Anita: Just a sex. *sexx0rz*
Edward: AHEM.
Anita: Oh. Right. Mystery. *sex-fu*
Mystery: *is solved*
Edward: Thanks. Must kill something now. Bais.
Anita: Tsk. That Edward. *sexx0rz*
Jason/Nathaniel: *sex*

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Ha, that's fun, but I hope to the diety that isn't going to be the book's, err excuse me novellite's plot.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

When I saw the "loosing their kids" I was thinking the same sorta thing.

WEREWOLF: RELEASE THE HOUNDS!
HUBBY: *cough* You mean the kids?
WEREWOLF: Yes.

And then the kidlings go and chase the Big Bad Micah down and tear him to shreds and feast on fresh meat. But not in a porny way, because that's just wrong. And illegal.

[http://users.livejournal.com/belladonna_/]

*le dies laughing*

[randomsome1.livejournal.com]

I got stuck on "novellite." Someone, anyone - what's she trying to say?

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

It makes more sense if you add a space. It's a novel lite. So, if I had to guess, a novel without all that pesky 'fleshing out' stuff. Just sex sex sex breath of plot sex sex.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Deleted an earlier comment because I thought 'him' was Edward and not Micah. That was giving me fits.

We've got him tied up in St. Louis with testimony in a child custody case for a lycanthrope that's in danger of loosing their kids.

A lycanthrope, as in one person is in danger of loosing their kids. Their is generally accepted as denoting more than one person! So either there is one lycanthrope with custody issues or there are two or more lycanthropes with custody issues. I have no idea and I'm starting to feel like Pooh tracking Woozles.


By referring to the lycanthrope as "that's" instead of "who is", it shows LKH/Anita views weres as second-class/animals even with all her very loudly states views on equality and removing discrimination against the "terminally-furry".

[requiella]

Note her wording: WE will feed. SHE GETS SCARIER EVERY BLOG ENTRY, I swear.

She GUESSES that. She didn't KNOW that. HOLY CRAP, I HAVE THE FEAR

This whole thing is hilarious.
hahaha

I have the fear :D

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

Watch out! She's loosing the kids on unsuspecting readers! Or, um *cough* something.

The idea of Nathaniel/Jason just tickles my...err, something good.

It really gives me the creeping willies that she refers to Anita as "us". It's just... come back to reality you nutzoid!

[briary-flower.livejournal.com]

When Neil Gaiman was writing Anansi Boys, he posted in his blog almost every day. They were huge posts and I used to wonder how he had the time and energy if he was writing. They were witty, intelligent posts, and he talked a lot about the process and his life as a writer, and even posed research questions. In the book, he actually thanks his blog readers for their assistance.

Then you read LKH's blog and it's all WTF Lady?! This is the most self-indulgent, WEIRD crap I've ever seen outside of Anne Rice vs. Amazon reviewers ‘04. Furthermore, Edward is "tied up in St. Louis with testimony in a child custody case for a lycanthrope that's in danger of loosing their kids?" Pardon? What's he going to say? “I'm an assassin, kill them all?” Or is he testifying for the furry? Doesn't he hate furries?

[demoncougar.livejournal.com]

8O Neil Gaiman has a blog?!? OH MY GOD YOU MUST LINK ME TO IT. *worships Gaiman. Seriously.*

"This is the most self-indulgent, WEIRD crap I've ever seen outside of Anne Rice vs. Amazon reviewers ‘04."

I sadly never saw the Anne Rice thing. Does it still exist? I'm so in the dark it's sad.

*feels like she lives under a rock*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

OH MY LORD, that entry hurt my brain what with the whole giant slab of fucking text. PARAGRAPHING! LINE BREAKS! The key is marked "enter" and given how much Anita liked men to do that with her, you should have no problems hitting the button. Think of it as "that special spot" that does really wonderful things.

You know what would be even grander for Edward's book: if it was written from Edward's POV. It's his book, he should get his own POV. Also, he's badass. I don't see why he needs Anita to come down and hold his hand through the Big Bad Mystery.

Jonathan said a very smart thing, "It's an Edward novellite, so keep it focused on Edward."

Our boy Jon, he's more than just a pretty face - he can point out the obvious.

I said, "But I have to introduce Nathaniel and Jason. You always have to write each book, as much as possible, as if a new reader will pick it up and won't know anyone."

Okay, so this suddenly explains why all the way through Micah we get everyone's name, rank, serial number, favourite food, most embarrassing moment in high school and sexual position of choice every fucking time a character is mentioned!

Holy crap, man. Holy fucking crap.

What about the established fans - like us - who know who the hell she's prattling on about and we don't need to know this? I'm not saying "neglect the new readers" just don't beat them to DEATH with introductions and infodump if you don't have to. And with Nathaniel and Jason, you don't need to spend chapter after chapter on their intros.

Given that they spend all their time in the hotel, they're probably watching the History or Discovery channel. They'll avoid the porn, because they get that for free and live around Anita.

When I read that part about Micah being "tied up" I was so hoping for LITERALLY. The idea that Micah would be trussed up like a Christmas turkey and left to rot in the bowels of the Circus makes me happy. Very happy. And given that his penis is so circus freakshow large, they can tie him up - with his own cock. Yes.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Give it a frigging paragraph. After that, they are introduced, and NEXT. If not central to the bloody plot, who gives a flying diaper rash?

-Dira-

[tsula.livejournal.com]

everytime she uses the word "novellite" an angel loses (not looses) its wings.

and everytime she misspells "ardeur", she makes Baby Jesus cry.

and what's with the "we" shit? Is it like the Royal "We"? And if so, who precisely is the Royal "We"? It's like Unsolved Mysteries, or something...

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I think it's in reference to "Anita and I [LKH]" which is...really creepy.

Then again, she went and bought a present for Nathaniel, so...creepy and crazy are par for the course.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I'm torn between perversely looking forward to the Edward "novellite" and headdesking myself into oblivion about what is to come. Because on the one hand: Edward! On the other: Reality.

And, oh dear, I can't believe I never told you about Neil's blog. I feel terrible. :(

[demoncougar.livejournal.com]

Don't feel bad, hun! *hugs*

[track-04.livejournal.com]

Now...I will admit this right here, I do hope Anita walks in on Jason doing Nathaniel or something. But, alas, LKH's aversion to homosexual stuff makes it so not likely as to be sad.

You and me both. XD Although given the weirdness of LKH's hetero sex scenes I can only shudder that the horror that would be a homosexual one... >.>

I am so afraid she's going to ruin Edward's character, too. I crave more but... ugh. This one might be better left alone.

Especially given her creepy ass one-ness with Anita now (well, for awhile). I just keep picturing the borg queen in my head reading that. Well... a much lamer version. >.>

[putana.livejournal.com]

Again, this novellite is about the mystery. It's about Edward calling for her help with the case. We'll be interacting with the local police next in a more major way.

Oh, good lord! PLOT. You mean, there will be a STORY? Why the heck is this a "novel-lite" and not a book?

Link Fix

[naeko.livejournal.com]

The blog being flogged here can now be found at http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/index.php/site/wheres_the_focus_going_to_be/