lkh_lashouts | (no subject)

O.K., I work in a library and DM came in today. It was very, very slow (the computers were down) so I perused it at the desk. Somewhere in the midst of chapter 19, my head impacted with said desk. Only after I had done it did I realize that I had just had a literal "headdesk" moment.

At the beginning of the chapter, we have the following thought from Anita, regarding JC and Asher: I'd sent them off to bunk in Asher's room dozens of times. But for the first time, I wondered what they would do when they got there. Would they have sex?

It's a good thing no one was around at the time because this made me laugh out loud. Has anyone ever doubted that Asher and JC were having sex while Anita was off reading bedtimes stories with Mithaniel? I certainly never doubted it. And for this to be the first time Anita even considered the matter? Please.

But then, a few pages later, we have this gem from Jean-Claude, referencing his screwing of Augustine (whom I absolutely refuse to call Auggie, because, just, no): Did you think that because I had tasted my first man in years that I would suddenly be some sort of rampaging beast?

...

Years? Meaning that he and Asher have been chastely dozing, or dying, or what have you, in bed together since Asher got there? That they never once...? Wha..? *headdesk*

I give up. Seriously. Words fail. It just... [wails] It makes no sense!

I also hope this works because I am woefully new to this lj stuff.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Exactly. Two men who canonically demonstrate no sexual hangups? Check. Who have, canonically, had sex before? Check. Who, canonically, love each other? Check. Who, canonically, come from a vampire line based on sex? Check. Who, canonically, have been sleeping together for, well, however long Asher has been here, I think we can safely say months, at least? Check. Who, in all those months, have never had sex with each other? ... Does not compute.

Imagine that first night.

Asher: [reaches out] Alone at last!

Jean-Claude: [shies back] Non, non! I don't have Anita's permission!

Asher: Wha..? We never needed Julianna's permission!

Jean-Claude: Anita's American. She has hangups. And I'm bound to her, so I can't get rid of her, and I need to keep her happy. We must sleep chastely! Like brothers.

Asher: [is unamused]

And then along comes Augustine and, well, if I were Asher, I'd be Seriously Displeased right about now.

And, also, yes, that whole business about needing a woman as a bridge made my eyes roll. I rationalized it at the time as Anita being an unreliable narrator.

And then along comes Augustine and, well, if I were Asher, I'd be Seriously Displeased right about now.

Seriously Displeased is probably the nicest way to put it.

If I were Asher, someone would be DEAD and/or DYING because I'd ripped them apart with my bare hands.

I rationalized it at the time as Anita being an unreliable narrator.

*snort* she's also an unreliable animator, federal officer, police consultant and lover.

Really, Team Evil ought to be partying heartily in St Louis because The Executioner is being severely lax in her job description. If they're not holding some kind of serial killer competition/convention, I will be most disappointed.

They can have guest speakers from the Council, via satellite. And between lectures, the Council peeps can make trouble for Anita and she'll just have to have sex to drive them away. And thus, the party would continue.

If I were Asher, someone would be DEAD and/or DYING because I'd ripped them apart with my bare hands.

That is exactly the form of Serious Displeasure I had in mind! I have a tendencey towards understatement. The problem is, doing such a thing to Anita would cripple Jean-Claude. Because of the Triumvirate. Makes killing Anita without killing the other characters problematic. Of course, Anita is speshul enough that Richard's or Jean-Claude's death (or Nathaniel's or Damien's) probably wouldn't make a dent.

she's also an unreliable animator, federal officer, police consultant and lover.

Heh. She's always bitching at crime scenes about the "boys" not taking her seriously. I wonder how seriously she would be taken on a federal case when she showed up with her harem of boy-toys and had to duck out every thirty minutes or so for a quickie, er, excuse me, to "feed the thing that starts with an 'a' and also has some 'r's and 'u.'" Then again, I think that "Micah," which I have not read and have no intention of reading, may have touched on that.

Then again, I think that "Micah," which I have not read and have no intention of reading, may have touched on that.

It did, briefly, in that there was a rumour going around that Anita was a slut and OMG she had to defend herself and say, no, I am not a slut. I just have a metaphysical problem. I can't help it if I need to have sex every few hours. And by the way, I did not fuck people down in New Mexico.

FED 1 (guy with a problem with Anita *eyeroll*): Yeah...riiiiight.
FED 2 (reasonable man): Fair enough. You there, pwnt. STFU.
FED 1: WTF?

And suddenly everyone was OK with Anita.