I'm new and I bring you this

[ayako.livejournal.com]

So I did an LJ interests cut today. Most of which that disappeared were Anita Blake related keywords. It got me thinking...

Signs that your books suck:

1. Fan sites being abandoned everywhere (here, here, here, and the rest)

2. Livejournal fanatics started taking you off their interests lists *nods*

3. The only peope who would admit they love your books haven't read the rest yet. (I try not to smirk too much)

4. The name of your protagonist is often seen in the same sentence with "Mary sue" and "slut" (As defined by Google images)

5. Needing to take down your guestbook with the increasing amount of hate mail

6. People wanting to attend your books signings with the sole purpose of bludgeoning you to death with your crappy book. (There has been talk -_-)

7. An entire community about how much your books suck --> lkh_lashouts

8. And the embarassing spoofs

9. Oh yeah, your oldest fans now think you're a half wit and you are being replaced by fresher/less porny meat in the market.

I'd hate to be you.

Comments

[frabjously.livejournal.com]

*sniffle* I love badpopsicle's site.

[gweneth-syeira.livejournal.com]

lmao...that was great. thanks.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Oh VERY nice. Bwa!

Good one. And too true...sighhhhs.

-Dira-

(I still long for the old days.)

And another thing:

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

I paused as I reached toward the candlestick. It was so long, and red, and …waxy. It was an enormous candlestick, the biggest candlestick I had ever seen! I could tell by the way it flirtatiously flickered at me that it returned my passion. Sometimes a candlestick wants what a candlestick wants.

ROFLMFAO.

Oh GODS, that is soo perfect! What a parody!

-Dira-

[d3athw1sh.livejournal.com]

Let's not forget when Amazon is selling brand new, hardback copies of your book for only $10.

[pith]

Woo! We rank as a measure of suckitude! Score!

This should almost be one of those shirts: "You know you're a sucky author when...."

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

*L* I would totally wear a shirt like that. ;)

[tybssecretstash.livejournal.com]

I think when people start calling you the next Anne Rice *cough* after the first three *cough*....

that's a sign!