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Blogflog - Dead Ice: Jean-Claude

Link: Dead Ice: Jean-Claude
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

In the lead up to Dead Ice hitting the shelves, I’m going to be doing a special blog series. I’ll be answering three of the most common questions I get about a character. I’ll be trying to include something not as commonly known with each answer. Then, you get a sneak peek of that character from Dead Ice. To kick off the blog series, we start with Jean-Claude – of course.

Question: Is Jean-Claude named after Jean-Claude Van Damme?

Answer: No.

Secret to share: In fact, Jean-Claude’s birth name wasn’t Jean-Claude. Vampires only had one name in Old Europe, so if there was already an older vampire with your name, your master could force you to pick a new name or even choose one for you.

Quest: Why is Jean-Claude French?

Answer: Because he refused to be Spanish, the way I planned.

Secret to Share: Jean-Claude was first created in the late 1980’s. That was close enough to my school days that I could still read Spanish and understand it if it was spoken to me – slowly. Please, do not try to speak Spanish to me now, I am too out of practice. My pronunciation must still be good though, because Spanish speakers will still break into rapid Spanish if I answer any question in their native language. As for my knowledge of French, all I can do is apologize for all of it in the early Anita Blake novels because my language “expert” wasn’t nearly as good at French as they told me they were, and well, some phrases are just awful. As my own French has grown marginally better, even I don’t know what one or two phrases were meant to convey. *face palm* It taught me to be more certain that my experts in any field actually were experts. I still pronounce French badly, so much so that I’ve been told by more than one native French speaker that I can learn all the French I want, but I will never speak it as fluently and musically as I do Spanish. In fact, I’ve been told that I speak French as if Spanish was my first language. It was my second, but apparently it has left it’s linguistic mark.

Question: Didn’t I feel that making Jean-Claude French was too much Anne Rice’s territory, because of Interview with the Vampire?

Answer: Yes, I did, which is why I wanted him to be Spanish; but the harder I fought to force him into a nationality that he didn’t want, the more illusive he was on paper. I couldn’t get my main vampire to cooperate on paper until I got out of his way and let him be French. Only then did he show up in his full glory and write smoothly on paper. He showed up in his typical black and white clothing with the frilly shirt, skin tight pants, and great boots. I did not choose his clothes; he did. Though in an effort to keep his clothes up to his standards I would watch the Fashion Channel for the first time and read my first copy of Vogue. I joke that Jean-Claude taught me to walk in high heels; he helped me understand the magic of gliding in heels. I don’t envision ever being as elegant as he is, but writing and living with him in my head for a couple of decades has helped up my grace and poise content. Though he shakes his head over me sometimes, just like he does Anita. He’s been an interesting influence on both her fictional wardrobe and my real life one. People will ask if my husband and I are in a band, or if we’re visiting from New York, as we get off the plane here in St. Louis. I’m not sure exactly what it means that we get asked that so often, but I know that it’s Jean-Claude’s influence, or rather me writing him that’s changed the way I view clothes.

Sneak Peek from Dead Ice:

“Perhaps modern people do not speak of it so bluntly, but it is the age-old game of chase and capture. There is always someone in a relationship who begins the hunt for someone’s heart, and the pursued must decide whether she wishes to be easily caught, or to be a long and difficult hunt.” He smiled when he said it.

I frowned at him. “Have you ever not gotten to sleep with someone you set your sights on?”

He raised the dark, graceful curve of one eyebrow. “You led me on the merriest chase of anyone I had ever met, ma petite.”

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*cough*Bullshit.*coughcoughcough* Oh I'm sorry, I got something stuck in my throat, but what I meant to say was...LIES.

Question 1: You did what the rest of us terrible name choosers do where you go to some site like twenty-thousand names dot com close your eyes and point or worse, "This sounds french-ish, I'll roll with it," and that's what happened. Also notice how he never had a Spanish name?

Question 2: In my experience most Spanish speakers are happy when I communicate with them, very poorly on my end sorry to say, and like in English when you get excited they just go fast there isn't some sort of mysterious lingual connection you are cashing in on. She also shouldn't pretend she does research at all much less blame someone else for her poor research skills.

Question 3 (which is directly related to Question 2): A) The word you were looking for is 'elusive' and B) you just wanted him to be a fucking French vampire because of Anne Rice and hey THAT'S OKAY. To be fair I wouldn't say so either because Anne Rice would probably descend from her own even higher and more ivory of towers and try to sue the pants off you so sure, deflect away, but can we please stop with this persistent and frankly worrisome, "my imaginary best friends do what they want and speak to me like they were the muses incarnate themselves!" At best what she is really saying is that, "I couldn't get away from this initial character concept in my head, and so I went with it despite my misgivings about what people would think when they read the character," (which would be a perfectly fine way to say it) and then does so in a way that insensitive and ableist to people who do hear voices in their head and have to take medication for that sort of thing who don't treat it as some sort of mystical best friend experience. At worst she really does have a troubling relationship with her imaginary friends, but she is caught up in this "I must suffer for my art" deal which means she won't ever seek any sort of help nor will she ever examine her writing in a critical way because the characters came up with it and she thinks she has to cede authorial control because of this.

Also thank you for reminding us LKH that Jean-Claude is a skeeve. He was a sex obsessed skeeve from book one and he really hasn't ever changed (except to become more romanticized and de-powered by the deus ex sexina machine). Love does not equal possession, love does not equal possession, love does not equal possession. How is Anita any different/better than Belle Morte again? Too bad LKH is too busy covering her ears going, "La la la la HATERS," to listen to some actual advice. Also I forget about those godawful comics and then that terrifying picture. I'm going to go hide before creepy over bulged muscles come to get me.

I used to roleplay with someone who acted the same way LKH does about her ~muses~. It would be very difficult to have a scenario planned and have her say, "Oh, the character just doesn't want to cooperate!" I wanted to shake her and tell her that she writes the character, she can make the character do what she wants. It was, frankly, incredibly annoying. I can't imagine what it must be like on the LKH scale.

I can completely understand characters not behaving themselves until you go a way they've been pushing. Which means the way the writer's subconscious is pushing, of course, and usually I wouldn't feel the need to clarify that, but we're talking about LKH, who seems to truly think her characters are trufax really real. Trying to force a character into a mold that doesn't fit makes for some truly terrible writing. Which LKH amply demonstrates every time she writes a new Anita book, because Anita does not work as the character LKH keeps trying to contort her into.

LKH likes to say she's a character writer, driven by the characters' motivations, but she consistently forces them to act against character, and it makes for weird fever dreams of books in which nothing makes sense.

I've had the experience of outlining a plot, where the romance was brimming with conflict... but when I got past the introductionary parts and into a few scenes of romance, it was obvious it wasn't going to work. While my heroine is open to polyamory, the woman she had an established relationship turned out very much not to be, and just as importantly, there was no "spark" between the hero and heroine. Thankfully, I realized this fairly early on, and so I just need to backtrack some scenes, and instead tell the story about how the two women got together. The guy is actually a perfect match for another character in the series, and you bet I breathed a huge sign of relief when they started showing chemistry.

So, while I think LKH takes it to an extreme when it comes down to "my characters control everything!", there is a certain point where you have to recognize what you originally intended isn't going to work, for whatever reason, no matter how much pre-writing and outlining you did. That said, this is probably the first time I've heard her say that the character didn't work out as planned in a way that felt realistic. Considering the number of times she's made that claim, I'm somewhat impressed (and not in a good way).

What in here is new? I didn't know that little bit about someone else doing her French in the early books, but other than that, I've heard this all before. And I always thought that JC dressed like some kind of pornographic pirate. I never got fashion and elegance from him, the best I ever though about his clothes was 'expensive cosplay'.

'It taught me to be more sure that my experts were actually experts'.
Then I really hope that some of your 'experts' have been fired. Whoever told you that it was OK to drag a civilian into an active crime scene, and not wear any protective clothing or hairnet. Whoever told you that wearing a miniskirt and heels was acceptable for a police interrogation. And conversely, you don't need to throw every single detail your expert told you about weapons into every single book, especially if they aren't ever used.

That last quote. He's trying with the 'someone in a relationship' who hunts for 'someone's heart', but he ruins that by saying 'she wishes to be easily caught'. How hard would it be to say 'they wish'? Because of course the predator is always male. No woman in the history of the world has ever pursued a man.

so if there was already an older vampire with your name, your master could force you to pick a new name or even choose one for you.
Since so many vampires are abusive/sadistic assholes, does this mean that all the pretentious/ludicrous names are actually some Master's idea of a prank?

I’m not sure exactly what it means that we get asked that so often
That's for the best, LKH. It's for the best.

the pursued must decide whether she wishes to be easily caught, or to be a long and difficult hunt.
Or whether she is NOT INTERESTED and wishes to spritz you with holy water, perhaps...

I now imagine some very bored vampire Master naming all his baby vampires Fluffy or Fido or Snookums, just because he can.

Or whether she is NOT INTERESTED

What is this "not interested" you speak of. Sex is the only thing that can matter to anyone, and everyone wants to screw everyone else. Or are you one of those jealous hater prudes who "believes" sex is not the only thing in life? (Vis. what Anita said to Ellen.)

*groan* I repressed the memory...

Q1: So, what is JC's real name, then? Ah, that would involve more world building and thinking time, no doubt.

Q2: Just admit you wanted him to be French because all vampire authors since Anne Rice have had French vampires. And 'I will never speak it as fluently and musically as I do Spanish'. Right, so you can speak Spanish well. And yet, despite having Hispanic and Latin characters, you have no Spanish ever in your books, whether linguistically or culturally.

Q3: JC is not real. He is a character you have created. Stop going on about your characters in this way. I find it disturbing and weird, and not in a good way. 'People will ask if my husband and I are in a band, or if we’re visiting from New York, as we get off the plane here in St. Louis.' Yeah, whatever. You dress like any other goth I've ever seen or known, but without any of the interesting extremes.

First things first: looking at that picture, especially how JC seems to be fondling himself, I can't help imagining that he's about to say, "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me." Not something I want to be thinking.

Secret to share: In fact, Jean-Claude’s birth name wasn’t Jean-Claude. Vampires only had one name in Old Europe, so if there was already an older vampire with your name, your master could force you to pick a new name or even choose one for you.

To quote Carl Sagan in Atomic Robo, "I'm trying to think of how to say 'but that's stupid' without resorting to the word 'stupid'." Why? Why would vampires have to change their names? If vampires have always been out in the open, there'd be no reason for them to need to change their name. Oh, wait, that would require thinking about your world-building, rather than just lazily shoving supernatural critters into the real world.

And why don't they have last names? Or bloodline names? Or clan names, or whatever. Even in certain cultures without inherited family names, they still used patronymics or matronymics - hence the preponderance of "[name]son" surnames in English. Once a society gets to a certain size, you need ways to differentiate people, because you've run out of names.

Answer: Yes, I did, which is why I wanted him to be Spanish; but the harder I fought to force him into a nationality that he didn’t want, the more illusive he was on paper. I couldn’t get my main vampire to cooperate on paper until I got out of his way and let him be French [...] He showed up in his typical black and white clothing with the frilly shirt, skin tight pants, and great boots. I did not choose his clothes; he did. [...] I joke that Jean-Claude taught me to walk in high heels; he helped me understand the magic of gliding in heels [...] Though he shakes his head over me sometimes, just like he does Anita. He’s been an interesting influence on both her fictional wardrobe and my real life one.

Okay, Laurell? I'm sure you think your whole "the characters are just so real to me" schtick is cute and quirky, but honestly, it's really, really disturbing. I know some writers occasionally act like their characters have wills of their own, or that the characters are actually talking to them, but I usually put that down to them (the writers) having a good, strong feel of what their characters are like. That's not what I get from you - from you, it's more like you actually think they're real people. Which is not normal, and kind of indicates that you might need actual, professional help.

People will ask if my husband and I are in a band, or if we’re visiting from New York, as we get off the plane here in St. Louis.

Sure they do, Laurell. Just like random women confide in you about their asshole ex-husbands all the time.

“Perhaps modern people do not speak of it so bluntly, but it is the age-old game of chase and capture. There is always someone in a relationship who begins the hunt for someone’s heart, and the pursued must decide whether she wishes to be easily caught, or to be a long and difficult hunt.” He smiled when he said it.

Yeah, that's totally not creepy and sexist. Screw all that 'getting to know each other' crap - romantic relationships are all about relentlessly "pursuing" the other person! All the refusals, the macing, the restraining order - that's just playing hard to get! Oh, and let's not ignore how JC goes from using gender neutral terms to referring to the "pursued" as female. Nice bit of sexism, JC/LKH. Stay classy.

Honestly, it's basically JC coming out and admitting that he was always creepily obsessed with Anita, and that eventually he just wore her down. How romantic.

I don't get the last name thing, either. I have seen where vampires (or other preter/supernatural creatures) have a clan or caste name only known amongst themselves, but in the time period she's describing, it would be out of character to have no surname. Especially given the predilection (even today) to name children after Biblical figures -- David, Joseph, Nathan, Mary, Sarah, Ruth, Esther, etc. If the character had an unusual name to avoid the issue of "John Smith? John Baker? John Woodsman? Wait, just John?" It would be unusual and stand out (and the character would probably get the nickname of "Just $name"). But, LKH says that the master vampires can rename another vampire, which indicates to me that they would be unusual names, which would draw more attention. If the rest of the town's denizens are Charles and Thomas and Christina, someone named Zenobia is really going to stand out.

IIRC, and it's been awhile since I read the books, so I could be confusing this with a different series, vampires and other preternatural creatures didn't come into the open until some 20-50 years before the first book start. That's why they're having the political rivalries over what rights the undead have. So, vampires would not have been openly known in the Middle Ages. Assuming LKH hasn't ret-conned it, which is entirely possible; I'm several books behind. One of these days, I'm going to binge read the series... I kept saying I'd wait for it to end, but since that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon...

As far as the character not cooperating, this is the only time that I've seen her claim this that actually was believable to me. I had a very thoroughly outlined novel, with a romantic subplot, but when it came to the romance, the characters were not cooperating. The hero and heroine hated each other, and the heroine's girlfriend insisted on monogamy. Sure, I could have pushed it, but instead I just ripped out the romance, decided to start at the beginning (my premise is a fantasy steampunk CSI; initially, I had started after the organization had formed), and hooked the guy up with the heroine of this book instead. Sparks ahoy! And I'll get to introduce the relationship between the two women from the beginning. It's way better than if I had stubbornly pushed through because outline.

However, I have never been inclined to buy gifts for my characters. If LKH talked just about situations like she did here, I'd have less of an issue. But she goes straight to WTF realms with her attachments to her characters. (NO. You don't promise your character that you'll never do anything to hurt her! That negates just about ANY stakes in a given book, not to mention stagnation of the various characters and plots. You're supposed to torture your characters, not invite them in for a cup of tea and some fancy sandwiches.)

First, your book sounds awesome.

I guess you're right about the supernatural having come out relatively recently, but exactly how long they've been out is a bit weird - long enough for Anita to get a degree in Supernatural Biology, and have a job (allegedly, at this point) reanimating the dead, and yet Anita's also constantly correcting people on stuff that they should know. And that still doesn't explain why vampires in Europe only go by one name.

And honestly, it wouldn't be the first time LKH ret-coned something - look at her break-up with Richard. When it happened, it was Anita who ran off. Then it became "mutual". Later, it was all Richard's fault.

And I'm so with you on the "promising to never hurt people Anita cares about" thing. Personally, I prefer Jim Butcher's approach. According to him, he doesn't like torturing his characters - he likes torturing his readers.

Thank you! :)

Someone below mentions that apparently it's been established they've always been about and open, but that's not how I remember the first few books going... so either I'm misremembering (which is entirely possible; it's been years since I read the books, and I've had memory-altering medication since then), or LKH re-conned at some point. I don't feel particularly inclined to start a re-read just to find out. But even as far as I made it (book 11? and part of 12? I think?) I noticed there were discrepancies. I swear, makes me want to start a wiki for my own work so I can put every little minute detail of worldbuilding and characterization down... except then I'd probably never write.

Hah! I hadn't heard the Butcher quote, but that's awesome.

In the Anita books, vampires and werewolves and etc. have actually been known to exist since forever. Her worldbuilding would make a little bit of sense if they have only been open and acknowledged for about fifty years, but that's not the way of it.

I can't remember where, but I read somewhere that her original idea was 'what if you woke up tomorrow and vampires and werewolves had suddenly always existed', which explains some of the very confusing worldbuilding.

See my previous quote from a comic book version of Carl Sagan.

Damn, I could have sworn in one of the early books it was stated that they'd only been out for a relatively short period of time. I'm not sure if that's something that got ret-conned later, or if I'm just misremembering... I don't feel like reading through the series to find out, though.

In regards to the name, she's also overlooking the whole Jean-Claude thing in the first place since that's two names. Yes, I know the French have hyphenate names. But they developed over time because there's only so many Jeans and Maries you can have before you have to distinguish them somehow.

There's also the matter of last names in general. In that they developed organically and weren't originally considered "last names." Lots of them were place names. In one branch of my family, we're Haights, which basically means that at some point my ancestors had a home on a hill (haight). Tom of the Haight was a "unique" name as different from Tom of the Vale. It doesn't matter that they're both Tom.

He’s been an interesting influence on both her fictional wardrobe and my real life one. People will ask if my husband and I are in a band, or if we’re visiting from New York, as we get off the plane here in St. Louis.

BULL. SHIT.

God, how long has she lived in St. Louis? Does she thinks he has some super special fashion sense that the ALMOST 3 MILLION PEOPLE IN THE METROPOLITAN AREA don't dress like her? God almighty that is the weirdest lie/brag I have ever seen come from her. I went through my goth and punk phases in high school and college (and wore them on planes), as well as more trendy after that, and no one thought it was 'OMG YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK?!'.

UGH THIS PISSES ME OFF HOW CAN SHE LIVE HERE AND UTTERLY NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS CITY AND AREA WORK WHAT THE HELL.

Also street fashion in New York is some of the dullest in the world. Lots and lots of black, yes, but it's not some kind of Goth thing -- it's because that's an easy color to take care of in a place with a lot of dirt. There are some areas of NYC where someone dressed like they're "in a band" (um, and about to perform I take it?) wouldn't look TOO out of place, but they are few and far between. Someone with eclectic fashion sense would fit in much better on any state college campus than almost anywhere in New York.

LKH can't even think of lies that halfway make sense.

I was just going to say this. I've been to NYC and it's not 1978 Piccadilly Circus.

When I lived there, I stood out because my calf-length wool trenchcoat was dark olive instead of black like everyone else's.

That's what I've heard about NYC (I've never been). But I have been through Lambert Field Airport, supposedly where LKH gets told this all the time (I've actually seen her and Jon there before), and... no one would say that to her. It's full of normal and weird people like every other air port in the world. Maybe after some conversation someone said, "Oh I thought you traveling in from out of town" just because she was on an inbound flight. Whatever, LKH just has to make herself sound "exotic" I guess.

I'm now having this hysterically funny mental image of LKH as that icon of New York fashion - Stacey McGill (from Babysitters' Club)...

Oh lord, BSC/Anita Blake cross over.

NO! Leave the BSC out of this. But yeah, I did like Stacey and Claudia.

I tried to do the Claudia Fashion when I was in 7th grade. It did not turn out well and I dressed like a punk for six years after that.

But that brings up an interesting point... I loved the BSC but I hated the huge infodump at the beginning of every book. The backstory, in detail, of every club member was annoying (but helpful for people who picked up the books in the middle of the series I guess). When I read LKH in high school it reminded me very strongly of that.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to cross them over.

I also picture LKH as Salome Otterbourne from (the less-worthy by LKH standards) Agatha Christie's Death on the Nile - the washed-up, sex-obsessed author.

“Have you ever not gotten to sleep with someone you set your sights on?”

No, and it's not because he's sooo hot, because WOW he's not. (That picture will never cease to crack me up.) It's because he's a rapist with a magical roofie. Though "sleep with" -- yeah, no, he rapes.

(reply from suspended user)

Since you're analyzing it, what's going on with the muscle between his pectorals and his abs? Those vertical lines are odd.

It's where they stitched on his implants.

(reply from suspended user)

Hello, new member. just found the books and this author through a friend and read the first two. through the education I have received in this community I highly doubt I will go further than book three unless I have read everything else on my e-reader. Anyway I just wanted to say reading these entries and snark from everyone has really made the last few days marvelous and I love you all!

The first one is rough, the second is better, then they're pretty good up through 9. After 9... whoa boy. That's where the train derails, and looking up MST3K reads of them will probably augment your reading experience. I sure wish I'd had them when I picked up Narcissus (the first hardback I'd ever bought! AUGH!) because it would have made it soooo much better.

Instead of reading ANY of this. Just go watch Army Of Lovers music video Crucified and if you don't see Jean Claude in Jean Pierre then I don't know what to say. The time line fits as well.

Seriously and please LKH the fact that people think you and your husband are in a band because you look like bad larping participants is not actually a compliment on your coolness factor.

Edited 2015-05-12 23:32 (UTC)

OMG I never really took any of Anita's sweeties seriously but having seen this I will constantly be imagining Jean-Claude like that.

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Blogflog - Dead Ice: Jean-Claude

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