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O.K., I work in a library and DM came in today. It was very, very slow (the computers were down) so I perused it at the desk. Somewhere in the midst of chapter 19, my head impacted with said desk. Only after I had done it did I realize that I had just had a literal "headdesk" moment.

At the beginning of the chapter, we have the following thought from Anita, regarding JC and Asher: I'd sent them off to bunk in Asher's room dozens of times. But for the first time, I wondered what they would do when they got there. Would they have sex?

It's a good thing no one was around at the time because this made me laugh out loud. Has anyone ever doubted that Asher and JC were having sex while Anita was off reading bedtimes stories with Mithaniel? I certainly never doubted it. And for this to be the first time Anita even considered the matter? Please.

But then, a few pages later, we have this gem from Jean-Claude, referencing his screwing of Augustine (whom I absolutely refuse to call Auggie, because, just, no): Did you think that because I had tasted my first man in years that I would suddenly be some sort of rampaging beast?

...

Years? Meaning that he and Asher have been chastely dozing, or dying, or what have you, in bed together since Asher got there? That they never once...? Wha..? *headdesk*

I give up. Seriously. Words fail. It just... [wails] It makes no sense!

I also hope this works because I am woefully new to this lj stuff.

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are we allowed to just kill LKH and re-write the whole lot of them after OB.please, please ,please.

The homophobia, especially against major characters that are notably bisexual and have a romantic past with one another, is so friggin' ridiculous.

It's just blatant and out of place, especially when LKH is trying to be so edgy.

And the old JC would have been either blocking AB from the psychic link so she couldn't see in, or just telling her flat out that yes, he and Asher are doing the dirty and no it's really none of her business.

I agree; it makes no sense. Later on, they all angst and both guys claim they haven't even touched each other without Anita around. Uh-huh. And Anita claims she thought they were screwing, too, but just preferred not to know about it. What? How are these the same characters from earlier in the series?

The only thing that kept me reading this book was the complete WTF? factor. But it still is painful to read.

I just refuse to acknowledge that JC and Asher have not had sex in all the time they've been sleeping together (dude, Asher's been staying in JC's room during the day, for fuck's sakes), and that whole "revelation" thing in CS where Anita "realises" that they "need a woman as a bridge between them" nearly made me spit blood.

In my head, those two have been having zee raunchy buttsecks for years. Their love is so canon. It's just that the author refuses to let this thing be.

I'm totally waiting for them to dump Anita and go running off into the sunset. I'm also waiting for Damian to tell Anita that he doesn't need her any more. He's grown up, he's not living in fear all the time, he wants to be his own ~~man~~ Viking and will try not to set fire to things.

and that whole "revelation" thing in CS where Anita "realises" that they "need a woman as a bridge between them" nearly made me spit blood.

What?

No, wait.

What what? What what with the what what?

I mean...who shot who in the WHAT NOW?

Read the following and see if you don't want to kill something.

This is verbatum from the book:

They stared at each other. Asher's fingertips barely touching Jean-Claude's arm. There was so much between them, centuries of pain and lov eand hate. It was as if all of it boiled in the air, almost visible in the flickering light. I wanted to say kiss and make up, but I knoew they wouldn't. I don't know what issues they had about each other, but they seemed unable to do things like that without their Julianna. She'd been the bridge between them. The thing that allowed them to love each other. Without her, they stood on the bring of the abyss and gazed at each other, separated by a chasm that neither knew how to cross.

I could never be Julianna. I had too many memories of her. For God's sake she'd done embroidery. She'd been gentle and kind and everything I didn't think I was. But there was one thing I might be able to do.

I slid off the bed, and went first to Asher, because I didn't want to set him off again. I went on tiptoe, and he had to bend down a little for me to kiss him, but he didn't fight me. I held his face in my hands like it was a cup carved of some delicate stone, something that would shatter if you abused it. I kissed him softly, drinking from that cup as the sacred gift it was. I went to Jean-Claude withthe taste of Asher still on my lips. I cupped his face as I had held Asher's, and I kissed him. He barely moved under my mouth.

I stood back from the two of them. "Now, we've kissed and made up. We need to get me dressed, and we need to talk before the banquet."

-- Cerulean Sins: p331, UK Softcover - 2003, ISBN 1-84149-139-X
OR: p283-284, US Hardcover - 2003, ISBN 0-425-18836-1

If you've got the paperback, all I can say is that it's the page or so before the start of chapter 43.

OMG NUUUUU.

LKH, I TOTALLY DO NOT THINK SO. A couple of hot, Frenchly vampires of supermodel sexiness? Both bisexual? BEING AWKWARD ABOUT AFFECTION TOWARD EACH OTHER?

*sporks self*

No, honey, they're totally into the buttsex whenever Anita's not around. They're only awkward here because she doesn't know about it, and it might give away the game. *clings to denial*

Okay, spelling typos are mine *headdesk* my hands are cold, so I can't quite feel the keys properly.

But the comma and grammar rape? That's all LKH.

Exactly. Two men who canonically demonstrate no sexual hangups? Check. Who have, canonically, had sex before? Check. Who, canonically, love each other? Check. Who, canonically, come from a vampire line based on sex? Check. Who, canonically, have been sleeping together for, well, however long Asher has been here, I think we can safely say months, at least? Check. Who, in all those months, have never had sex with each other? ... Does not compute.

Imagine that first night.

Asher: [reaches out] Alone at last!

Jean-Claude: [shies back] Non, non! I don't have Anita's permission!

Asher: Wha..? We never needed Julianna's permission!

Jean-Claude: Anita's American. She has hangups. And I'm bound to her, so I can't get rid of her, and I need to keep her happy. We must sleep chastely! Like brothers.

Asher: [is unamused]

And then along comes Augustine and, well, if I were Asher, I'd be Seriously Displeased right about now.

And, also, yes, that whole business about needing a woman as a bridge made my eyes roll. I rationalized it at the time as Anita being an unreliable narrator.

And then along comes Augustine and, well, if I were Asher, I'd be Seriously Displeased right about now.

Seriously Displeased is probably the nicest way to put it.

If I were Asher, someone would be DEAD and/or DYING because I'd ripped them apart with my bare hands.

I rationalized it at the time as Anita being an unreliable narrator.

*snort* she's also an unreliable animator, federal officer, police consultant and lover.

Really, Team Evil ought to be partying heartily in St Louis because The Executioner is being severely lax in her job description. If they're not holding some kind of serial killer competition/convention, I will be most disappointed.

They can have guest speakers from the Council, via satellite. And between lectures, the Council peeps can make trouble for Anita and she'll just have to have sex to drive them away. And thus, the party would continue.

If I were Asher, someone would be DEAD and/or DYING because I'd ripped them apart with my bare hands.

That is exactly the form of Serious Displeasure I had in mind! I have a tendencey towards understatement. The problem is, doing such a thing to Anita would cripple Jean-Claude. Because of the Triumvirate. Makes killing Anita without killing the other characters problematic. Of course, Anita is speshul enough that Richard's or Jean-Claude's death (or Nathaniel's or Damien's) probably wouldn't make a dent.

she's also an unreliable animator, federal officer, police consultant and lover.

Heh. She's always bitching at crime scenes about the "boys" not taking her seriously. I wonder how seriously she would be taken on a federal case when she showed up with her harem of boy-toys and had to duck out every thirty minutes or so for a quickie, er, excuse me, to "feed the thing that starts with an 'a' and also has some 'r's and 'u.'" Then again, I think that "Micah," which I have not read and have no intention of reading, may have touched on that.

Then again, I think that "Micah," which I have not read and have no intention of reading, may have touched on that.

It did, briefly, in that there was a rumour going around that Anita was a slut and OMG she had to defend herself and say, no, I am not a slut. I just have a metaphysical problem. I can't help it if I need to have sex every few hours. And by the way, I did not fuck people down in New Mexico.

FED 1 (guy with a problem with Anita *eyeroll*): Yeah...riiiiight.
FED 2 (reasonable man): Fair enough. You there, pwnt. STFU.
FED 1: WTF?

And suddenly everyone was OK with Anita.

that whole book is like a bitchslap to the faces of intelligent readers. the whole "plot" is 600+ pages of Laurita JUSTIFYING why the eye-bleed, bad pr0n, was NECESSARY, and VITAL to the series... and how ragingly, unremittantly hetero Anita is.

The Augustine/JC action was like a shining glimmer of hope only be to beaten bloody and left in a ditch shortly after. Bad ardeur, bad! But totally JUSTIFIABLE to the "plot".

Then the parts/characters that were kinda cool, were footnoted. Like Merlin, Thea... the sirens in general.

THANK GOD the Louie/Anita action was just a vicious rumor.

[/rant]

Ok, so we're to believe that Jean-Claude is playing by the rule set out in the first couple of books. If Jean-Claude had sex outside of their relationship, he'll lose Anita. Somehow, I think once Anita lost the ability to say "No," Jean-Claude was safe to look elsewhere. It's not like Anita has the stregnth to turn Jean-Claude(anyone) away if she needs to feed. Besides, what would Jean-Claude lose if she said no, other than the future possiblity of catching some bizarre supernatural STD? Unless he already has a STD, and that why he didn't have sex with Asher. In a place where common sense exist, Asher and JC are having sex and lots of it.

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