lkh_lashouts | Danse Macabre: the cover & chapters 1-3

Oh dear god... They're still call them "Anita Blake Vampire Hunter" novels when LKH has admitted that there's not even a single dead body in DM?! Argh! What false advertising.

Also? The cover art is bad. Just... bad.

I am sorry..i tried..but I could not get past the first few paragraphs. Is it just me, or do you shudder when she refers to Jean_Claude as "My sweetie"?

I do. I even shudder when she refers to Richard as her sweetie. I also mega shuddered when JC used his (thank god never to be repeated) euphemism for sex, "the wicked dance" or whatever tripe that was. The naughty dance. The vertical mambo. I don't even remember, I just know it made me want to weep tears of blood.

I do not only shudder, when she calls Jean-Claude "my sweetie", I also shudder, when I read the character assassination of Ronnie. Tripple digits?? WTF? Is that now a contagious disease in the perimeter of St. Louis? (I know, I know, we had the YAABI discussion already. But it still makes me see red)

The cover is horrendous. Bondage in combination with a dancing shoe and a ballerina in a way to small corset. If she would dare to dance with that thing, she would not only flash the room, she would also be unable to move her upper body. But to be honest, it's not as bad as the "micah" cover. That looked more like one of the sappy romances cover, than all the others.

Okay, now I've read some of the tripe she's calling a book.

Uh, a baby? FOR SERIOUS??? I thought this was an Anita book, not a Merry Gentry book?

Did the whole Anita/Ronnie pro-choice/pro-life conversation feel like a retread of a conversation LKH had with someone when she got pregnant, or is it just me? Of course, it's absolutely no surprise that Queen Mary Sue would have to make her main character get pregnant because she herself had a baby. Because Laurell=Anita! And Anita=Laurell! And Laurell=Anita!! In case we didn't get the message before now.

Also, when did she decide she hated Ronnie?? I get the feeling that Ronnie is a stand-in for all us evil, nasty fans. But that's just my humble opinion.

pregnant!anita would be the LAMEST plot device evar.

pregnant!anita would be the LAMEST plot device evar.

I'd say it gets the silver.

The ardeur still gets the gold.

I got some Ardeur once, took some penicillin it went away.

mags

In that case, Anita's probably got the super!Ardeur - the antibiotic resistent strain.

Uhhh, this has been bugging me... Didn't they wanna call The Killing Dance Danse Macabre? But then someone went, "Yo, Stephen King has a book called that!!" and so they changed it?

Why go back? Try to confuse the King addicts (myself) into accidently buying it or reading it or saying something good about it by confusion?

Lets take bets she is knocked up all the men fight and she cries and have MASSIVE emo moment... and... miscarriage! Last one to argue with her was RICHARD!so we hate him more...or some shit like that.

Is this a horror detective book or fricken all my children.

mags

I think All My Children has more coherent plot lines at this point. *disgusted noise*

Now that is sad.

mags

. . .

I don't like the Bondage Babe line of coverart. Honest. When the ID coverart was announced, I think I ranted and railed that one of my Bondage Babe sketches was WAY BETTER than that Bondage Babe.

And y'know? Tis true. At least I've got a creep factor when I have the naked torso of a woman that blends into the lower half of a skull. And, there's nipples.

there better be a fucking ballerina in the book, or I'm going to start digging out old pairs of toe shoes and beating people with them

... is that Sa' Elayssa in your icon?

/random

dude. BDSM ballerinas? might actually rock.

yes, yes it is. She's in all of my icons currently and my journal. Desert Sin owns!

*squee!* for Desert Sin!

aaaaah! you must take pictures! some nice ones. and then some scary ones. and then photoshop the scary ones and make them into parody DM covers. pllllllleeeeeeeeeeease!

Oh, dear. I hate to be the lone dissenting voice in the crowd, but....

I actually really like the cover.

*hangs head in shame* I know, I know, it's yet more Pseudo Goth Bondage and doubtless disguises 800+ pages of drivel and porn.

But, dude, ANYTHING is an improvement over the cleavage-fests of ID and ASoM. (Not to mention Micah. *shudder*) Nary a heaving bosom nor a naked torso in sight. It's a marginal improvement.

And I KNEW it would be purple/pink/fuschia/whatever. Don't ask me how. I just KNEW.

And I KNEW it would be purple/pink/fuschia/whatever. Don't ask me how. I just KNEW.

Because it's important to be omgsogoth and light-hearted and girlie at the same time?

When I first saw it, I thought her head was chopped off and the red ribbon was graphic blood spewing from it. I kid you not.

But overall...it ain't TOO bad. There have been worst. Can we say the cover for Micah, anyone? And what was up with the foot in Cerulean Sins?

what?!

she reminds me of a keen little teenage girl posting her first story for someone to read. she's writing herself backwards, it's scary.

is it ardeur or arduer?
and the you're/your and it's/its thing REALLY bothers me.

but what is just frightening is the whole pregnancy thing.
ugh. ugh. ugh.
and then suddenly merry's world crosses over with anita's. let's parade a group of men in front of anita for her to choose from! it's a contest! wtf.

Danse Macabre: the cover & chapters 1-3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

I suddenly feel like a traitorous apologist.

no subject

no subject

no subject