Teh Harlequinn

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

Word by word - or well quote by quote snark of the new chapter of the harlequin (nice spelling btw)
http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/Anita/TheHarlequinChapterSix.html

LKH in Bold me in plain

I was holding onto his arm, of course we were together. But I stood there and was quiet. Nathaniel would handle it. Me, yelling at her wouldn't help things. Honest.

This woman can't even keep her new Anita in character - screaming isn't going to help, since when did Anita care?

I would have said bar area, but they weren't allowed to serve liquor. Yet another of the interesting zoning laws about strip clubs on this side of the river.
Either they invented new laws in Danse Macabre or that woman forgot her own laws again. Remember the comments on drunks all through the books or the hen night with alcohol in the first book?

It was a lot more dangerous to strip for women than for men, apparently. All the dancers agreed that men behaved themselves better.
Nice conclusion coming from the all male dancers. And most likely a case of 'I researched using a calendar again' - I mean see the men in the stripping calendars have a lot more scars than the woman...


I nodded, and let him lead us to the door. Nathaniel had kept his hat and coat on. He didn't want to be recognized for several reasons. It was rude to distract the audience from Byron's show, and 'Brandon' wasn't working tonight. Lisandro unlocked the door, and ushered us through.
Two things a)sure and a guy in hat and coat in a strip club were the males are the ones stripping is sooo usual and won't get him any attention b) yeah, damn you we get it, your guys are so much more attractive and wanted than all the other strippers, and a clothed Nate would distract women from the nearly nude Byron because Nate is so specuhl. Stop repeating that, we got the point and the headache from that egomaniacal stupidity you force us to read

Only the couch against the wall and the carpet were new. Asher and I had ruined the old stuff with sex that got so out of hand, I'd ended up in the hospital.
Brain bleach please - and can I please lose that image now now now ...

No, but we've lost two of our rats guarding you, Anita. Let's just say that if my wife ends up a widow, I'd like to know why."
Nice attitude, either he is a bodyguard or he is one of the whiny ass man that just have to contradict Anita and be bitchy because she hasn't slept with them ... ah yes that was it ... nevermind...
And since when do bodyguards ask why they have to guard you? From whom might be a prudent question, but trying to guilt trip Anita into revealing the why? And your wife knows she ended up a widow because you guarded somebody with your body and got killed. End of discussion ...


"Human servants gain some of their master's abilities, that's like normal. You should have gained the ability to help Jean-Claude feed his hungers, but your feeding on lust isn't an extra for his energy, it's a necessity for you. I heard what happened the night you tried to stop feeding it.
Nice now the were's know more about human servants than JC or Marianna the witch, logic anyone?


Two of the lions he sent you were virgins," Nathaniel said, "You're a succubus, Anita. You don't give virgins over to something like that."
Your word in, well someones ear. You don 't give people to the tight wetness *shudders


Some of them were tough in a normal world sort of way, but we all live in a world where guns and sex, and violence of all kinds can happen and does. We need someone who doesn't make us all feel like we're corrupting children."
I cannot decide what annoys me more, the woe is me, they are all so weak and poor me has to protect them stuff, the children picture with the crotch of doom, or that they think that a world without that crap existed ... everyone lives in that world, the difference is some people don't court desaster with a crotch of doom and a bitchy attitude -

Comments

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

You're a succubus, Anita.

There! It's canon, it's canon!

[allova.livejournal.com]

I'm certain he will, as soon as he busts his way out of wherever it is that LKH and Podward locked him up.

And then, my fellows, there will be bloodshed and sweet sweet vengeance for all!

[dan-lian.livejournal.com]

Someone needs to do an icon... a crotch-shot of the comic Anita and "You don't give [someone] over to something like that". Virgin or not, it's not right!

[jadelioness.livejournal.com]

Let me get this straight. A short man with ankle length hair and the overpowering stench of vanilla is so attractive to women he can't take off his hat and coat in public? I can't even imagine someone like Brad Pitt having this problem, and he is man-sized with man-length hair and actually smells like a human being instead of a desert. Or so I assume on the last part.

[jeannette.livejournal.com]

He was one of the few men that spent more time ogling my boyfriends than me. I found that disturbing, too.

We know, honey. We know.

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

"Human servants gain some of their master's abilities, that's like normal.

Oh for the love of Cheese..

[dwg.livejournal.com]

My love of writing dialogue just curled up and cried during that chapter. *sniffles*

Dammit, now I really want all the lycanthropes to have RPG campaigns where they gossip all night long. It would totally explain how everyone seems to know everything about Anita's life.

That, or they've actually wired her house and the Circus with cameras and stream this on the internet and are making squilions in the porn industry.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

...I know. Even non-english people get the chills reading that I'm-like-such-a-teen speech. :p

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Brad Pitt has nothing on Nathaniel, of course! Lkh has writes the most yummy, beautiful, sexy, great, effeminate, castrated, annoying men in teh world. :p NOT!

[catskin.livejournal.com]

This all depends on LKH actually knowing what a succubus is - past experience indicates me that she doesn't.

[catskin.livejournal.com]

Asher and I had ruined the old stuff with sex that got so out of hand, I'd ended up in the hospital.

*Naomi massages temples* Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean...

Good sex never ends in hospital.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Indeed she doesn't seem to know. She invented a new meaning for the word. Guh.

[sthrnsilverwolf.livejournal.com]

Maybe she has to keep reminding everyone of the sex because so many of us skip it when trying to read her books. God-forbid people not enjoy her hellishly inaccurate descriptions of good sex.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

I took the liberty. It's not much, but I thought your idea was excelent! *grins* GIP!

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

*DIES* Oh no, that's PERFECT!

Oh man, that's TOO good.


Now someone's got to get on over to her site, register up, and all, and post with it...won't last long, but what a Kodak moment..


-Dira-

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Oh darn. I deleted the other post 'cause I forgot to put the icon up, lol. Glad you like it, and it would be so funny to see the reactions... :D

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

I cringed when I read that. Maybe it's proof that LKH really does have the brain of an emo teenager

[stefflebug.livejournal.com]

I was forced to read the whole chapter by Kyalesyin, who decided that since she had suffered I was going to as well, and all I can say is bitch, please!

We entered in the permanent dimness of the club.

Now I'm not the most grammar nazi-ish person on the planet, but that fragment makes my brain bleed. It isn't even a sentence, and what the hell did you enter it in to.

What is with all the introspective wangsting, which looks more like filler than anything else, and the anger that knows no bounds?

What is with Richard still being described as a pissy loser (looser) who still hasn't dealt with anything? I could have sworn that he'd dealt with the whole 'monster' issue every book for the last 5 or 6 or 7 books.

WTF is with this bad drivel being passed off as a competent author's writing? I wrote better fanfiction when I was a lot younger and a darn sight less experience.

Saying that, this crap isn't the worst thing. Nope, the worst thing is on her website, when you bring down the books/comics menu is says Anita Blake Books 15-22!!!!

Which means that there are at least another 7 books planned for this series.

*dies*

[slayra.livejournal.com]

That's probably one of the reasons the plot is so thin. She has to make it last for another seven books. The battle with the MOAD is still 7 books away... *sigh*

[jadelioness.livejournal.com]

I was wondering when the MOAD plot was going to come up again. It was mentioned and then, nothing. There would be lots of action and killing and no room left for sex! Oh...I guess that means we will never see it again. *sighs with you*

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

....you know, the fact that her thighs are spaced inhumanly far apart in that image make me wonder just how large the Crotch o'Doom really is, that it needs that kind of real estate to spread out in...

[miladygrey.livejournal.com]

And amid all the other wrongness, the woman is throwing commas around like they're going out of style. The Vag o'Doom must have eaten the last person who tried to copyedit.

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

We entered in the permanent dimness of the club.

Now I'm not the most grammar nazi-ish person on the planet, but that fragment makes my brain bleed. It isn't even a sentence, and what the hell did you enter it in to.

s/to\./to?/ :]

Back to topic-- I wonder if she started writing another sentence and changed halfway through without realizing she'd left in an incorrect word? (I've done that sometimes.) If the sentence read "We entered the permanent dimness of the club," it'd be grammatically correct (if not particularly good writing).

[leggomylegolas.livejournal.com]

See, that's what's so crazy. Even Brad Pitt - if he wasn't famous - could walk around unmolested. People just don't freak out and throw themselves at someone. Sheesh - I've met so many incredibly attractive guys in my life, and I never attacked them.

People don't act like animals. Even animals barely act like that.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

oh eeew I don't want that kind of details ...

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

I am so totally with you ... the only way good sex can ever end up in a hospital visit is if you get the girl pregnant ...
everything else is just *shudder not right

[kyalesyin.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm having a moment here, but there aren't any guys watching the show... ever? Its such a strange thing to see a guy in a strip club full of guys that...

*headdesk*

[shadwing.livejournal.com]

I know...even women go to topless bars, the dancers don't care as long as they are tipped.

[kyalesyin.livejournal.com]

Us gay women would go to topless bars a lot more if we weren't married. LKH needs to get her head out of... I don't even wanna contemplate where she has her head.

There are these strange things known as 'gay men.' She needs to meet some.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Good sex never ends in hospital

I don't know, I could tell you stories...

And I love your icon!

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

That was actually addressed in one of the books.... ID, I think. Because LKH some of the dancers are homophobic, or at least uncomfortable being leered at by other men, there's apparently a no-single-guy rule. He has to be with a woman.

homophobic much?

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

God I forgot about that rule. How can someone lust after bisexual men as much as Lanita allegedly does, and then be homophobic? How? Tell me how?

Re: homophobic much?

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

'Cause I think she just doesn't get it. She likes the idea but the actual mechanics repulse her. It's one of the things that bothers me most about her - as a person, not just as a writer - that she seems to have such a skewed, hypocritical concept of gender roles. She also doesn't have a fucking clue about feminism.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

I thought there was some spiel about single men, or groups of men being too likely to start fights in a club like that (especially if they are homophobic and drunk or trying to hide not being homophobic, humans are sad ...)

Re: homophobic much?

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

because for a long time in the books it was just lust inducing and eye candy as long as they didn't act on it - JC and Asher were more interesting because of the old lovestory, but not even allowed to kiss curtsy to miss blake

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I read the first chapter. I've commented already on the 6th, which I could not wade through. But the first chapter, except for the bullshit in the middle about Anita being a whore and basically baiting Malcom into repeating what she'd just said - so she could claim he was being insulting - it read like a good Anita it read of possibilities.

Cause now that I replay it, the whore bullshit took up a much larger space than I'd have liked it to. But finally Malcom! Only I'm scared she wants to sex him too. And Edward. And a lion. And maybe the arches. And then the Washington Monument and...

*sighs*

Everytime I feel blue, I have to remember that this community represents fans who want more - and I go back to the drawing board on how to do that myself without it seem quite so obvious to be flicking LKH in the face.

[catskin.livejournal.com]

Lol, thanks!

Are these the kind of stories LKH favours us with? Coz if so...

[gweneth-syeira.livejournal.com]

omg. just catching up on the com recently and this icon. OMFG. It made my finals week more manageable. Mind if I snag with credit?

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Lol, thanks, glad you like it! ^^ Sure, go ahead. No credit needed. ^___^

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Nope. I have these friends and they had this funny thing happen...and well, it's become a yearly joke.