First time snark 'round these parts.

[christraven.livejournal.com]

 Okay, so I've gotten quite a few laughs out of this community, and I've enjoyed much of the snark.  I figured it was about time to give something back, so I decided to take some samples from Pat Walsh's book 78 Reasons Why Your Book May Never Be Published, and 14 Reasons Why It Just Might, and post it up here as a kind of comparison/contrast exercise.  Hopefully it gives you as much entertainment as everyone else here has given me. 

 

These are just the first 25 out of the 78 reasons (since I'm both lazy and didn't want to make this post too obnoxiously long), and I can pick out quite a few that can be applied to our favorite Little Snowflake.  How many can you spot, and why?  

1. The Number One Reason Your Book Will Never Be Published Is Because You Have Not Written It. 
2. Your Book Is Not Good Enough 
3. You Do Not Revise Your Book, Or You Will Not Revise It Again. 
4. You Think Too Highly Of Yourself
5. You Think You Are A Natural
6. You Think Writing Is Easy
7. You Listen To False Praise
8. You Do Not Know What You Are Talking About
9. You Do Not Care About Language
10. You Cannot Tell A Story
11. You Preach
12. You Do Not Realize That Nobody Cares
13. You Are A Copycat
14. You Do Not Have Style
15. You Have Too Much Style
16. You Do Not Kill Your Little Darlings (this one is originally in reference to the pithy little sayings that a would-be author might use, but I think it can be applied to LKH well enough....  :-)....)
17. You Use Bad Metaphors And Similes
18. You Sacrifice Clarity for "Art"
19. You Do Not Know Grammar
20. You Do Not Care About Syntax
21. You Do Not Know Enough Vocabulary
22. You Read Your Writing Aloud Too Much
23. You Have A Tin Ear For Dialogue
24. You Do Not Know Your Audience
25. You Do Not Trust Your Audience

Enjoy!