(no subject)

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

Here's the latest “Thoughts of A Speshul Snowflake”, with Laurelle in plain and my good self in bold purple.

Domestically Challenged.

I enjoyed my weekend off, but today I’ve got no pages.
Strange how that happened after a weekend off!

It’s one of the reasons I so seldom take an entire weekend away from work. Sigh.
I'm of the opinion you should take more time off – like a year or two. Jonboi could always be pimped out sent out to get a real job to pay the bills.

By the time we were all back home, it was too late to have the dinner I had planned. As in, dinner would have been at Trinity’s bed time.
Two words – take away. Hell's bells woman! What had you planned for dinner? A seafood smörgåsbord? A ten course Indian banquet? I can whip up steak, chips and veg in less than half an hour, with chocolate mousse for “desert” – what's your excuse?

We have staff to help organize us during the work day, but no one in the evening.
What? No-one to run your bath and bring you fluffy towels? No-one to turn your bed down, put a chockie on your pillow? Bring you your slippers and pipe? Wield the huge peacock feather fan as you loll on your throne?

At night, it’s just us to do the whole grown-up thing.
Glad to hear you keep it to adults! Still, TMI, Laurelle!

Some day’s we’re better than others, but today was one of those moments when I thought, wouldn’t it be nice to have a wife? Not a real wife, but that 1950’s ideal that never really existed.
AAARRRGGGHHH! Nathaniel in an apron and pearls! DO NOT WANT!!

So we got everything done that needed doing, eventually, but when I realized that I’d missed the window for dinner, I felt like I’d failed.
Quick! Someone! Call the Waaaambulance! First the Foose, now making dinner! What kind of woman are you, Laurelle?

There are days when I think, wouldn’t it be nice to have that organized grown-up in the house.
At this point, I'd think you'd settle for pretty much any kind of grown-up!

But it’s not me, and though Jon is more practical than I am, he’s not the most practical person. But, you know what, I’ve never been attracted to anyone that was terribly practical.
O RLY? I'm astounded!

Even my first husband wasn’t organized or practical. In fact, one of the things that contributed to our divorce was that both of us kept looking at the other person, waiting for them to notice that the lamp shades were dusty, and the dinner needed to be put in the oven, or purchased from the grocery store in time to have for dinner.
Oh for fucks' sake! It's called compromise. It involves discussion, planning and both parties taking responsibility for chores! It's called Real Life, and in spite of what you might think, we peons go through it too.

Now, my Chief of Domestic Operations, Sherry,
aka the housekeeper,

takes care of the dust, and someone else buys the groceries, after I make the meal plan, so all we have to do is cook it in a timely manner.
Am I wrong to be jaw-droppingly astounded at the gall of this spoilt woman? She works a few hours a day, from home, has Jonboi, Darla, a personal shopper, a housekeeper, a bodyguard and who knows what else waiting on her hand and foot, and still can't manage one pre-teen for a few hours and perhaps making a meal.

You’d think we could manage it, and most days we do, but every once in a while the absent-minded professor/artist kicks in, and we just forget.
Do you “every once in a while” forget about your child too?

But, in the end, we got dinner, and the kiddo in bed, and it all got done.
So you could rush off for that “grown-up thing”.

But it is one of those days when I think longingly of having one extra more practical person in the house, but let’s face it, even if Jon and I could find a third adult that we wanted to cohabitate with, we’d never be attracted to someone organized and practical.
Oh Laurelle! You are so sexually liberated! A threesome! I'm sure Trinity's Dad would be perfectly happy for her to continue to live with you if you do that.

When we were both dating, our choices ran high to artist, techies, writers, and scientiests.
Scientiests? Que? Hon, spellcheck is your friend! Those little squiggly red lines aren't there just to make your page look pretty!

None of these jobs, or degrees are likely to net you an organized mate. Now, now, I know there are some out there in all those categories that are the exception to the rule.
Condescending much?

Those professor types that are far from absent-minded, must be out there, but I never dated them, and neither did Jon.
That sounds like Jonboi batted for both teams...and that he and Laurelle took turns dating the same people.

So, even if we added another person to the household, we’d be no better off. We might have fun,
OH SHIT! THE IMAGES! *sticks head in bucket of brain bleach Ultra*

But as one good friend said recently, simple, and well-organized is boring.
Especially when you're bringing up a child, who needs structure and security, the selfish little bugger.

Well, yeah, but there are days when I wonder what it would be like for someone in the household not to be an artiste, or a techie, or a self-absorbed wanker or both.

It wouldn’t work, but the lamp shades would get dusted, and dinner would be on time.
Oh Lord!

Comments

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

beat ya to it :) http://community.livejournal.com/lkh_lashouts/360993.html

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

So I need to delete this then?

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

Hardly. There's plenty of mulit-flogs that hit the comm.



However, your HTML is showing. Might want to tuck it in.

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

"takes care of the dust, and someone else buys the groceries, after I make the meal plan, so all we have to do is cook it in a timely manner.

Am I wrong to be jaw-droppingly astounded at the gall of this spoilt woman? She works a few hours a day, from home, has Jonboi, Darla, a personal shopper, a housekeeper, a bodyguard and who knows what else waiting on her hand and foot, and still can't manage one pre-teen for a few hours and perhaps making a meal."

...what? That... shit... I just... I can't TAKE IT!! *tries not to leave dent marks on the desk from all the head-desking* The GALL!!

Laurel, hon, meet my friend - four kids, full-time job and NO ONE there to buy her groceries or clean up the dust! Try it, THEN you'll have the right to WHINE about your HARD life and choices!

[astronauta.livejournal.com]

was her kid ever fed?? D:

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

I just thought of Luella Miller (http://www.1fiction.com/texts/luella.txt) myself.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

No. It NEEDED to be sporked twice. Sanity required it.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I hope that Trinity is taking notes, because once she comes of age, I want to read her tell-all book about her mother.

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

Yes, she eventually went out and got take-away.

I wonder if she drove there on her own in the Foose....

[muse-books.livejournal.com]

I'm sure many of us would be pre-ordering that. :)

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I doubt it. She'd have boasted about how she drove there! On her own! And the car only stalled three times! But she was intrepid, and drove to the restaurant and back solo. Because no one in the history of the world has ever done that.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

oh lord
good god can a single person be that helpless? Let alone a couple.
I taught myself to cook when I was like 10 or 11 - though I have to admid it was for selfish reasons, I didn't want to wait till Mom came home and started cooking to get a warm meal.
I cooked the meals (for 3-4 people), bought the groceries, did the meal plans and did my part of the cleaning, + having a look at what my little brother did ; with 14 while going to school and bringing home good grades (in everything but Latin).
It's not rocket science!

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

*snorts with laughter* FTW!

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

Exactly! My Dad taught me to cook before I was 11, and I was at boarding school in my teens, being completely self sufficient.
Then I lived in as a nursing student, before sharing digs with friends.
I also raised a child as a single, divorced Mum on a disability pension, which is why I find LKH's whining so very irritating.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

You know this blog makes it sound like Gary and LKH would still be married if they'd only hired Merry Maids.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

I mainly taught myself, used cooking books and called my grandma if I really had trouble. But seriously how many of todays ten year olds could be left alone in a kitchen?
I haven't really got kids or my own place for real yet (maybe next year when I finally have my degree), but I have been 'the woman in the house' since I was 14 and mom left for her lover, and I have done more than my share of the cleaning, cooking, baking, garden work, and all since then, for 3 people (dad, brother, me) and up to last year 2 dogs.
It's not the same, but I think you can count my brother under helpless toddlers (even now that he is of age he still can't cook or anything at all). And my dad just makes chaos he doesn't clean it up
And while I complain about cleaning up after two adults every now and then, I can do my share of chores and my school/university/work
It is pretty irritating to whine when you have such an easy life, as LKH and I so pity her child.

[leggomylegolas.livejournal.com]

This is what my sister in law is like. She has a nanny/housekeeper who does the laundry, cooks, takes care of the kids, cleans the house, and even WRAPS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS for my SIL. And yet, somehow, my sister in law is STILL stressed out alllll the time, and can't even manage to cook one meal when we go over there for family birthdays and such.

I mean, I'm stressed out too, I work two jobs and lots of times I don't cook but I don't hire people to do it for me, I just suck it up.

Oh, and I'm an ARTEESTE TOO! Oh, how do I manage it!?

[moonsinger.livejournal.com]

Geez, the microwave is your friend, and if she wants a threesome, really she can keep it to herself.

[pith]

Modly: In general, mulitple flogs on the same post aren't allowed, so next time, please check the comm to see if anyone flogged it first. Thanks :)

[lilacwire.livejournal.com]

But if it WERE rocket science you wouldn't be able to do it because scientists are too scatterbrained for that sort of thing. :P

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

Whenever LKH talks about Trinity and her bedtime, I always think they make her go to sleep at like 8:00 or something.

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

That and she's still this 'young' child. The girl is now about teenager years - she should be able to fend for herself in the kitchen. It's not that hard to make a sandwich, steam up a bag of veggies in the microwave.

It's not that hard, Laurita, get your head out of your butt and think about meal times and set your alarm in your office accordingly. Hell, Sherrilyn Kenyon has three boys, one of whom is a special needs child, and still manages to run a household w/o all the hand wringing that you, dear stupid woman (LKH) seem to specialize in.

A good mother/daughter project would be to do a cooking class together, but that would *gasp* mean interacting in public! And, *double gasp* no bodyguards! How she functions at all - I wonder.

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

I think he got tired of her insanity and went looking for a more sane partner. (Seeing as how batshit crazy she's becoming these days, I wonder if it was always there, but just hidden when he was there? I.e. - he was the one that kept her on a more even scale.)

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I've had friends fight so bitterly over chores that they have come close to divorce. Having said that, it was these fights were always a symptom of something else.

I imagine Gary came home from work to a disaster of a house, Laurell talking aloud to Anita and Erato, Trinity crying in her playpen, no dinner in the house and syncopates and toadies calling all hours of the night and wanted to run like hell.

I want to clarify something-it's not that I think Laurell should have taken care of the house because she's a woman... it's much more because she was at home wrestling with her muse.

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

I want to clarify something-it's not that I think Laurell should have taken care of the house because she's a woman... it's much more because she was at home wrestling with her muse.

I never figured that into the equation, so no worries from me there. :)

But, I'm like most folks here & tired of her portraying herself as a victim when she's got it so damn easy. She's got Darla handling mail & such like that. Jon Boi - wtf does he do all day that he can't help around the house? A catch-all maid who does the cleaning & shopping for her, all so Laurita can sit and whine in her office all day about how hard her life is and pretend to actually work on producing readable books?

Grow up, LKH, and quit your whining. Heaven forbid she actually spend the time & money to go see a shrink who would probably say the same thing.

*rolls eyes at LKH*

[surcia.livejournal.com]

My dad is a scientist/tech guy, and he's probably the single most organized person I've met in my whole life. I've alway thought that scientists and techies were some of the more organized professions around. They need to keep track of a lot of information and everything. I honestly have no idea what she's on about. Even more than usual, I mean.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

She needs to get her head out of her ass and learn that real people do everything EVERYTHING that needs to be done in a house.. by themselves. With multiple children. And full time jobs.

But who am I kidding? Laurell doesn't interact with real people, does she? No, she only plays with the freaks in her head.

She offends me so much.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I am waiting for LKH to reveal she has a chronic illness she's somehow hidden for years.

Today was just not the best day for me to read these flogs. I'm sitting here trying to make the decision about whether or not it will be detrimental for me to limp around the corner for a gallon of milk or if it'd further exasperate my health situation. I'm juggling having to move by the end of the month, and trying to pack when I'm not just dealing with being in pain ...

Someone who cleans, someone who actually goes buy the groceries - not that LKH uses Peapod or some other grocery delivery service but has someone who GOES AND HAND PICKS HER GROCERIES - Then she has a PA who does what? What does Darla do? And what does her current husband do?

And it's the end of the world because she had to spend money on take out??

I do not understand how individuals can live such privileged lives and act so ungrateful for it.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

if it were rocket science I wouldn't be able to do it because I suck at maths, physics and that ;-P

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

but you know anita can't cook to save her life, so how could laurell do it?

I mean cooking is soo hard work and so evil, normal people have some frozen veggies and stuff in the freezer and can throw together a minimal dinner in like 20 minutes
but it is sooo hard ...
seriously cooking can take a lot of time if you use fresh ingredients, cook something more complicated that has long phases of cooking on low heat or cook stuff like fresh aspargus (I hate preparing that) - but a simple warm dinner isn't really that hard

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

Yes, cooking can be hard, but with a little forethought - i.e., putting everything into a crock pot and letting it simmer all day for a nice, rich beef stew is one option. Or, a thick pot of chilli, left to cook on low all day. A simple pot roast with veggies in the roasting pan w/ it can basically cook unattended all day long at low temps.

My thought on all of this is - wtf does Jon Boi do all day that he can't contribute to meal time?

I'm sorry woman, one of your entourage (Charles) has a down syndrome's child and I don't hear him complaining about how hard his life is.

But, I guess if LKH didn't whine and moan about something, she wouldn't be LKH.

[mitrian.livejournal.com]

...you cook asparagus? I usually eat it raw before it has a chance to get anywhere near the stove.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

I keep waiting for reality to give her the bitch-slap she so richly deserves.

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

Blanch it in boiling, lightly salted water for one - two minutes, then serve with melted butter, fresh cracked black pepper to taste. You can add a smidge of garlic and/or chilli to the butter if you like.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

You and me both.

[longtail.livejournal.com]

Some day’s we’re better than others, but today was one of those moments when I thought, wouldn’t it be nice to have a wife? Not a real wife, but that 1950’s ideal that never really existed.

*does the Kyle's mother impression* What, what, WHAT?!

She did NOT just say that! *headshakes* *deep breath* God, the IGNORANCE is astounding. No, that 1950's ideal never did exist. It was all propaganda to distract a nation suffering from serious debt after WWII to try to stimulate the economy, and women suffered for it. You want that 1950's house(husband) ideal? Pay someone. Seriously. That's called a SERVANT, not a WIFE.

Bah, she HAS servants and can't even manage life. Oh noez, I have everything and I didn't cook dinner! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

How did this woman ever learn to breathe?

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

yes, I live in the German asparagus region (white asparagus actually) and we peel it, boil it in salt water with a bit of sugar and lemon, and then eat it either with melted butter or sauce hollandaise
might just be the typical German way ...

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

I would not be at all surprised to learn that somewhere in Trinity's room there is hidden a pile of delivery menus and a debit card that Gary periodically adds money to, intended for just this sort of occasion.

That poor girl.

[orthent.livejournal.com]

Oh wow--I know it's been months since you made that comment, but can I please offer you about a gross of e-cookies, because I think I love you for bringing up Luella. Mary Wilkins Freeman needs more love.