Doms are from Mars, submissives are from Venus

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Alright, it's been awhile since I read the books, and I admittedly only got up to Narcissus in Chains so I could be completely off the mark with the assertions here, in which case, please let me know and my apologies.

But it seems that the gender dichotomy is very strong in the AB books. Girl things, guy things, Anita is the only non-stereotypical woman, everyone is either a BIG STRONG MACHO MAN (unless he's with Anita, in which case she is his Prince Charming because there MUST be a 'guy' and a 'girl' and Anita *has* to be 'the guy' because MEN ARE BETTER) or a GIRLY GIRLY GIRL who is going to like white picket fence, be a victim, a slut, insane, a lesbian, evil evil evil, jealous of Anita, or some combination of any/all these traits. We're all pretty aware of this in this comm, and all the terrible implications it makes, if not downright proves, about the ideas on gender and relationships that LKH has (since there's no divide between the reality Anita sees and the reality of what's actually going on in the books that I can tell)

Just another set of sprinklings to add to that sundae of anti-feminist fail is something that hit me last night...if memory serves me, the only cases of men who are submissive, either to women or in general, are Nathaniel and males who are from a supernatural species that is matriarchal, such as the weretigers. Nathaniel is the way he is because of great trauma and abuse. The weretigers are (or at least, according to someone who got further in the books than I did) the way they are not simply because of a matriarchal culture, but because something inherent in their species means that even an Alpha weretiger male cannot resist submission to a female.

So, assuming that memory serves me right, there don't seem to be any men who are subs just because they like it. It has to be a result of either trauma or supernatural status. To me, that says that while LKH really likes subby men (which I think she does), she doesn't think that a man could naturally be like that unless there was some kind of explanation for it besides that he simply enjoys it. And given that she seems to take the phrase 'opposite sex' to a very literal extreme (if guys are like X, then women must be the exact reverse--unless they're Anita, naturally) then it probably follows that women cannot be dominant unless there are similar reasons--though probably less sympathetic ones, like that they're just evil, which women generally are in this 'verse anyway. And come to think of it, wasn't the intersexual Narcissus stated to be into both sides of BDSM?

So, am I missing or misremembering things? Reaching for fail when there really isn't any (at least not in this case)? Possibly on to something? I welcome all thoughts and opinions!

Comments

[volatilesublime.livejournal.com]

Considering that Laurell's view of Anita enjoying sex consists of her either forcing herself to do it for the good of all, doing it then spending at least two scenes picking apart why it's "okay" for her to have had sex with dude-of-the-moment, or being so mindfucked by metaphysical energy that she can't remember what happens, it makes perfect sense to me that she wouldn't understand the urges that make a person dominant or submissive.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

I remember thinking "another trauma *eyeroll*" each time someone talked about their past. Seriously, I think everyone in the Anitaverse has a bad past. They were raped by daddy, they were sold by their uncle, they saw their best friend die, they weren't whitebread enough, their goldfish didn't love them...Everyone had a sad past. So, yeah, every guy who is a sub, is one because of his past.

[volatilesublime.livejournal.com]

I agree with this so much. I think that's something that weighs down the series as well -- no-one's genuinely happy, and they all have this semi-secret inner trauma. It's exhausting to look at, especially when you think that simply being a shifter/vampire/whatever would be enough of a source of angst. And naturally, because this is the Anita Blake universe, all of this angst plays out/ can be worked through in the bedroom somehow.

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure you're right on target.

As far as I recall it's that way all through the AB books and the Merry Gentry ones too- guys are not subs unless they've been forced or have some traumatic past that means they are woobies who must wooed, or they've got a condition. It's... kinda gross, actually. And I'm pretty much immune to reading the sexual roles and subtext stuff.

But all other womminz are evil or victims... like Andais in Merry Gentry is a sadist and eeeevil, or Narcissus was a switch (is that the name? N did both sides anyway), or Merry's former bff Keely who has (last I could stand to read them) decided to fall in love with and be a sub for her rapist... IDEK. It's so full of WTF it's almost hard to focus on the sex.

Still squicked by the one scene in... some MG book... where she has sex with Frost for the first time and he gets all hella rough with her cuz it's soooo long he just could not stop himself and it's ok because he's her woobie. Or... something. Blargh.

[ardeth30.livejournal.com]

Narcissus was a switch (is that the name? N did both sides anyway)
Yep. Far as I know anyway.

Still squicked by the one scene in... some MG book... where she has sex with Frost for the first time and he gets all hella rough with her cuz it's soooo long he just could not stop himself and it's ok because he's her woobie.
Pretty sure that's near the end of the first MG book. Someone needed to smack Merry and tell her no, it's just he's so desperate he'll do almost anybody by now.