Blogflog - Beauty - a preview

[blogfloggery.livejournal.com]

Link: Beauty - a preview
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

So many of you have asked, or said, you can’t wait until it comes out, so . . . Here’s a sneak peek at Beauty the too hot to handle outtake from Kiss the Dead which comes out as an eSpecial May 8, 2012:

“I finally let myself look at that face, and I felt like I had from almost the first moment I’d seen him, that he was simply one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. The black curls touched the edge of his face, as if bringing attention to the curve of his mouth, the line of his cheek, and those eyes. They always looked blue, but they were so dark. Midnight blue with their double edge of black eyelashes like dark lace to frame the deepest blue I’d ever seen in anyone’s eyes. His eyes were a blue like deep ocean water, where it runs cold and will eventually spill down into something warm and mysterious, where creatures the light has never seen live and thrive. Those gorgeous eyes looked at me, and there was love in them, but the second he saw me in the doorway, walking toward him, there was lust, desire, and just a heat that brought a blush to my face and an answering heat to my own eyes. Six years after we’d first started dating I was still a little amazed that this most lovely of men wanted me so badly. They talked about burning for each other, and we still did. I never seemed to get over the surprise of turning around and seeing him there. You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.”

Comments

[othellia.livejournal.com]

They always looked blue, but they were so dark. Midnight blue with their double edge of black eyelashes like dark lace to frame the deepest blue I’d ever seen in anyone’s eyes. His eyes were a blue like deep ocean water, where it runs cold and will eventually spill down into something warm and mysterious, where creatures the light has never seen live and thrive.

So his eyes were blue?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I'm imagining JC with sea monsters in his eyes now. Maybe tiny tentacles waving out from his face.

[kisstheground.livejournal.com]

... this is for real? is it too early in the day to start drinking?

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

All those commas . . .

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

And she used the word "spill." Top word on the list of "Words LKH needs to stop using."

[nialla]

That's... a gigantic block of text that doesn't exactly spill over the page.

[fangedsekhmet.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I ever used to like these books. All that flowery writing now makes my brain hurt.

[queenmeow.livejournal.com]

This can't be real. A publishing house has put their name on this AND want 3 bucks for it? Not this sucker! I had it on preorder but it reads asnot entertaining in every way.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

If this preview really is an accurate reflection of the entire story, I'm just going to be weeping over how it'll be one big giant slab of text. I've come to expect the repetitious repeating in the same sentence. Also, now I have a graphics tablet, I can doodle some of the WTFery thrown in there like EYES WITH SEA MONSTERS IN THEM. I was at an exhibition of creatures from the deep, they are totally awesome and look like aliens and this is what I'm imagining to be in a pair of giant floating eyeballs, because this is what's being described rather than an actual person.

Turning this into some kind of Lovecraftian horror tale will be the only thing that helps me keep my sanity.

[shadwing.livejournal.com]

If this is a sample of what 'Beauty' is like no wonder it was cut from KtD and not because it was 'too hot and steamy' its because it's got two things to do with the plot of KtD 'Jack' and 'Sh*t' Its Penthouse Reader Wish Fullfilment Fantasy/Porn, and has nothing to do with a missing 15 year old girl and a group of masterless vampires.

I mean she spends a few sentances and say 'blue' in 4 different ways to describe JC's eyes and if we are to believe her FB/Tweets in Late Jan/Early Feb that this is the 'piece heading for New York' it's NOVELLA length.

That's right she padded a chapter long sex scene into a NOVELLA. Whoever takes the hit and reads this carp let the comm know we'll air lift Booze.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

And covered in lace. He has black lace instead of eyelashes. And the lace extends to the monsters.

I can't. Oy.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is not what the author wanted us to take away from this preview. Just a guess.

[collectively.livejournal.com]

Ughn. Dear lord. I wouldn't read fanfiction that was this poorly written, much less pay for it...

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Maybe, possibly... I guess?

[naeko.livejournal.com]

*LKH's Word paperclip* Did you mean, "All, those, commas, , ,"?

[queenmeow.livejournal.com]

I've read this description in all the post Ablah books. How could she do it again? It's like someone else copy and pasted this section from a marked up book. If I was a troo I would wonder if the novel is this poorly made. Where is LKH's pride in her work? For someone who has her avatar try to lord over shifter cat people; she does not rock it like a big cat would.

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

Please let this be some kind of lame attempt at a late April Fool's joke. My editor-brain is weeping, and my internal Markup Meter has already hit triple digits.

[shadwing.livejournal.com]

KtD did go though 2 rounds of edits both for content and copy, 'Beauty' is an outtake that LKH (for some inane reason) insisted be released so I doubt it went though any editing since the publishers went "We might make a little cash off it, just e-release it for a few bucks"

I'm wondering why she's pimping Beauty so hard and we haven't heard one peep about KtD, and I'm praying it's not because she thinks the unedited sexy times are better written then the actual edited book.

If this is a sample of what the final manuscript looked like on first submission....find that editor and give them BOOOOZE

[astronauta.livejournal.com]

I dislike the writing, but boy do I miss the days when it was just Jean-Claude. Why did he become such a secondary (and now sometimes weak) character? I think I'd be a whole lot more tolerant of this series if Anita remained monogamous, instead of watching her collect men every other chapter and having them all compliment/worship her. I just. I really ache for what this series use to be.

[aramuin.livejournal.com]

Seconded. I stopped being able to buy Anita as a 'real' character when her trooo luvs hit double digits. A real relationship takes work and time and dedication. Just screwing someone is not about love.

I was bitterly disappointed in how she handled Richard because honestly, however it happened, that is a Toxic relationship and I think the best thing for everyone involved is to get out.

....and while I'm wishing, I want a unicorn-pony that can fly!

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

This ought to be edited with a chainsaw.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

It's so...purple.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

Is that a kraken in your eye or are you just happy to see me?"

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, this is just the thing I needed today, it's so hilariously bad! I laughed so much and shared it with friends who had the same reaction XD

I might like to read more for the lulz, but I sure wouldn't pay for it

[4tonedeaf.livejournal.com]

I just have no words to describe how awful that drivel is. The way she keeps repeating things makes me cringe and want to hide under a rock.

[muggins.livejournal.com]

As soon as she starts to describe a character - my mind programs me to auto-skip for relevant content. I think I read maybe 25% of Skin Trade? Was that the last one that she based near Tacoma? -_-

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think that's what simultaneously bugs me most and makes me laugh most.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

No that was Hit List. I couldn't even read that. Skin Trade was set in Las Vegas and it took me more than a week to read. I had to stop periodically and refresh my brain with better written books.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

And now that you've said that, I'm imagining elder gods. Stare at JC's eyes too long and you'll face the wrath of Cthulhu.

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

His eyes were as blue as the squid in my icon.

I so badly want to take this apart, put it back together as two sentences, and email it to LKH.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

YOU BEAT ME TO IT!

[queenmeow.livejournal.com]

Please do if it does not conflict with anything.

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know how I'd get it to her, but this is what I'd do:

“I finally let myself look at that face, and I felt like I had from almost the first moment I’d seen him. , that he was simply one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. The black curls touched the edge of his face, as if bringing attention to the curve of his mouth, the line of his cheek, and those eyes. They always looked blue, but they were so dark. Midnight blue with their double edge of black eyelashes like dark lace to frame the deepest blue I’d ever seen in anyone’s eyes. His eyes were a blue like deep ocean water, where it runs cold and will eventually spill down into something warm and mysterious, where creatures the light has never seen live and thrive. Those gorgeous eyes looked at me, and there was love in them, but the second he saw me in the doorway, walking toward him, there was lust, desire, and just a heat that brought a blush to my face and an answering heat to my own eyes. Six years after we’d first started dating I was still a little amazed that this most lovely of men wanted me so badly. They talked about burning for each other, and we still did. I never seemed to get over the surprise of turning around and seeing him there.You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.”

[astronauta.livejournal.com]

Oh God, yes. I'm getting tired of all of her love-at-first-sight lovers. Of course, we're asking a writer to put more work/time/dedication into the relationships, when she doesn't even do that for her writing.

[aramuin.livejournal.com]

True but it's the thing that shatters the illusion for me. I can't see why she insists Anita's in love with these people rather than slaking the arduer however she can.

It's true but I still am honestly astonished at how certain she is that her work is just too edgy instead of just too stupid for her readers.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately this idea is far too cool to come true.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

She beats a description to death, right? Okay, his eyes are deep dark blue. Fine. What always confused me with her ocular descriptions is... What is the big deal with that? Lots of humans have blue eyes, eyes that change color depending on what they are wearing or the light, multi colored eyes even. I fail to see where this is a preternatual quality deserving of so much explanation -- as if none of us have seen pretty peepers before. Shouldn't a writer have better things to tell us about?

Oh right, there is no plot to speak of. Sigh.

What I find fun is that this description leads me to the idea that JC wears false eyelashes. I mean, what else would a 'double edge' of lashes be? Maybe she should have spent a few words explaining what that meant (I don't really mean that!) It makes me wonder just what else isn't really JC. I picture him and Asher preening before Anita gets there, putting in JC's colored contacts, gluing on them lashes, curling his hair just so... kinna sweet, them two. This is probably not the mental trip the author wanted me to take.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

I believe she is referring to this
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/30/elizabeth-taylor-distichiasis-extra-eyelashes_n_842539.html

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

All right, am I wrong, or would that first sentence work out just fine without the commas:

So many of you have asked or said you can't wait until it comes out so . . . Here's a sneak peek at "Beauty", the too hot to handle outtake from "Kiss the Dead" which comes out as an eSpecial May 8th, 2012:

Also, as written, it's hard to say if she means that Beauty or Kiss the Dead is coming out May 8th.

Writer my ass

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

Spot on.

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

BOOYAH!

[cautionzombies.livejournal.com]

Has it really been that long since I read Anita Blake? I know I'm a better writer and reader since I read these when I was 14, but come on. I really don't remember the writing being this bad. My God.

[igenlode.livejournal.com]

Guilty Pleasures (in which Anita spends most of the book avoiding looking any vampire in the eye, since she does not yet own supernatural powers): "His eyes were the darkest blue I had ever seen, perfect as a midnight sky. They were dark, and alive, but there was no sense of drowning, no pull. They were just eyes."

So, almost the reverse, then!


Queer how a book which almost makes a trademark of laconic, pared-down prose could have given eventual birth to such prolixity...

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

I feel sorry for the ex husband who was flogged to death as Richard in the books.

Seriously lady - get over yourself! Get some mental health help like now. :-p

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

I would suggest putting it on the amazon boards and watch the Troos go up in flames over you "attacking" their precious Queen. :-p

Either that, or you could easily find her snail mail address on yellowpages.com (I did for a lark once, since she's like so freaking paranoid of anyone finding her in person, yet doesn't make sure her home address isn't listed on line? :-p)

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha!

That's great imagery right there and so much more concise that LKH will ever be these days. You managed in two short sentences to get your point across while she took a whole paragraph of such purple prose to say something. :-p