Or someone will try to have a legitimate adult discussion with her about her experiences, and she'll freak out and say someone assaulted her.
I don't want to say she'd have it coming for publicly broadcasting her lifestyle that way. I may find the way she chooses to broadcast it offensive--she alternates between defensive condescension and self-superior gloating, with clear attention ploys thrown in. But no one should have to be afraid to have open sex-positive conversations or discuss their lifestyle, whether it's mainstream or not, and condemning her for discussing it at all feels wrong, restrictive, and close-minded (to me). But when you do discuss it so openly and you are a rather public figure, you have to be prepared for the fact that in general people aren't all that informed about this kind of thing, and they're going to react in ways other than the way you specifically want. I don't think she's prepared for those reactions without the buffering shield of the internet and her..."on-line security person." (Oh god, biting my tongue on that one.) And while it's not her responsibility to teach other people appropriate behavior when openly discussing lifestyle choices (kind of the way it's not a cosplayer's responsibility to teach people not to get grabby no matter what's hanging out of their costume), the childish way she flaunts for attention and then gets offended when she gets attention doesn't make sense to me.
Bleh. I think I'm getting kind of muddled in my point, because I don't want to fall into the trap of saying "anyone who talks about their sex life this openly deserves whatever harassment is coming to them." That's veering close to victim-blaming and censorship and a lot of other ugly stuff that I feel isn't right, as I don't think poly people or any people should have to feel like their life is some kind of forbidden kink they're not allowed to talk about in so-called polite company, and I do think that if we were more mature about discussing sex as something other than a dirty taboo and more sex-positive as a society in general we'd fix a lot of the hate problems we exhibit toward women, LGBTQ people, etc. But she has to be aware of the fact that we aren't in general, and there are a lot of people outside her bubble who don't think the way she does, and she should at least be braced for whatever's coming instead of seeming so shocked and horrified the way she always does. Situational awareness isn't that hard. If she had a track record of proudly standing up despite the awareness that other people won't understand, I'd almost get it, and might even applaud her. But instead she has a track record of flaunting with a dose of misinformation, and then freaking out if anyone dares to mention the things she's flaunting, and then making attention-getting drama about it.
...and I'm putting a lot of thought into a hypothetical situation that hasn't even happened, though this is also based on situations that have happened in the past. But I'm going to shut up, as this ventures on criticizing her for something she hasn't even done; just that I'm afraid she will.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-10-20 03:02 am (UTC)I don't want to say she'd have it coming for publicly broadcasting her lifestyle that way. I may find the way she chooses to broadcast it offensive--she alternates between defensive condescension and self-superior gloating, with clear attention ploys thrown in. But no one should have to be afraid to have open sex-positive conversations or discuss their lifestyle, whether it's mainstream or not, and condemning her for discussing it at all feels wrong, restrictive, and close-minded (to me). But when you do discuss it so openly and you are a rather public figure, you have to be prepared for the fact that in general people aren't all that informed about this kind of thing, and they're going to react in ways other than the way you specifically want. I don't think she's prepared for those reactions without the buffering shield of the internet and her..."on-line security person." (Oh god, biting my tongue on that one.) And while it's not her responsibility to teach other people appropriate behavior when openly discussing lifestyle choices (kind of the way it's not a cosplayer's responsibility to teach people not to get grabby no matter what's hanging out of their costume), the childish way she flaunts for attention and then gets offended when she gets attention doesn't make sense to me.
Bleh. I think I'm getting kind of muddled in my point, because I don't want to fall into the trap of saying "anyone who talks about their sex life this openly deserves whatever harassment is coming to them." That's veering close to victim-blaming and censorship and a lot of other ugly stuff that I feel isn't right, as I don't think poly people or any people should have to feel like their life is some kind of forbidden kink they're not allowed to talk about in so-called polite company, and I do think that if we were more mature about discussing sex as something other than a dirty taboo and more sex-positive as a society in general we'd fix a lot of the hate problems we exhibit toward women, LGBTQ people, etc. But she has to be aware of the fact that we aren't in general, and there are a lot of people outside her bubble who don't think the way she does, and she should at least be braced for whatever's coming instead of seeming so shocked and horrified the way she always does. Situational awareness isn't that hard. If she had a track record of proudly standing up despite the awareness that other people won't understand, I'd almost get it, and might even applaud her. But instead she has a track record of flaunting with a dose of misinformation, and then freaking out if anyone dares to mention the things she's flaunting, and then making attention-getting drama about it.
...and I'm putting a lot of thought into a hypothetical situation that hasn't even happened, though this is also based on situations that have happened in the past. But I'm going to shut up, as this ventures on criticizing her for something she hasn't even done; just that I'm afraid she will.