Blogflog - A Tropical Blog

[blogfloggery.livejournal.com]

Link: A Tropical Blog
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.



Things I have learned by being this long in the tropics:

That it is possible to tan through SPF 100 sunscreen and if you don’t reapply regularly, it’s possible to burn through it.

Getting wet in the ocean means you either need a different kind of sunscreen, or to reapply every time you get out of the water. Trust me on this, sunburns ruin all the outdoor fun, and some of the indoor fun, too.

Lizards bigger than our Pug and Japanese Chins are abundant. The dogs are not okay with this.

There seem to be more insects here. They like the taste of my flesh and laugh at bug repellent. Apparently, I taste better than Spike, Genevieve, or Jon, if the number of insect bites is a way to keep score.

The broad-brimmed floppy hats that I’ve always thought were ridiculous and only looked elegant on 1940s-1950s era movie stars really work at keeping the sun out of your eyes. It’s especially effective at my desk when I write. I do not look elegant in the hat, but I am solidly in the “everybody who isn’t a movie star looks silly in them” camp.

Everyone loves bacon, even fish, even if it’s second-hand bacon via sea sickness. Jon discovered this on our snorkeling trip.

Not even the dogs like a long walk in a hundred percent humidity.



Sand is everywhere; there is no escaping it.

The sea really can be teal, turquoise, and shades of blue that I’d only seen in calendar shots of exotic places.

Dolphins are a terrible and intriguing distraction for all of us.

Osprey, even more so; our local birds decided to eat their breakfast outside my office window most mornings.

That pelicans hit the water so hard the fish are stunned from the impact before they are scooped up in that big bill.

That peregrines really are one of the most widespread birds of prey in the world. Totally didn’t expect to see one here, but it was loving on the seagulls in that serial killer sort of way.

That seagulls are the sparrows of the ocean to me, they all look vaguely alike and I’m not sure what I’m looking at.

That I’d rather snorkel and dive with the fish in open ocean than go spear fishing for them.

That I still love kayaking on the ocean.



Kayaking in mangroves is amazing. Genevieve called it tricky.

That sea hares get purple ink all over you when you pick them up, and the ink smells like sweet flowers.

There is nothing sexy about getting in, or out, of a wetsuit.

That snorkeling/diving really is like swimming in the world’s biggest, most beautiful aquarium ever.

That spying a sea turtle, even if it’s just a head poking up and taking a breath, makes me happy.

Viruses don’t care if you’re in a tropical paradise, they’re still out to get you.

That even here in this beautiful place with all four of us plus the dogs, we can still be homesick.

That traveling with the dogs here can be an adventure.

Dawn comes in soft & pastel, but sundown explodes in technicolor fire, as if the day grows up and gets hot and heavy by nightfall.

If you’re with the right person, walking hand in hand on a tropical beach is as romantic as it’s supposed to be.

Comments

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

I stopped reading after this:

That it is possible to tan through SPF 100 sunscreen and if you don’t reapply regularly, it’s possible to burn through it.


*heavy Sigh*

How can this woman live to her age and not know you need to reapply sunscreen? I guess she really is a vampire if she never goes out into the sun. That's something I learned when I was TINY.

(also SPF over like 30 or 45 isn't really necessary)

[morbane.livejournal.com]

Huh, that doesn't seem particularly pretentious OR oversharey. *squints*.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Ditto. That and the "you need a different kind of sunscreen for being in the water or reapply every time you get out." Of course you gotta do that because it washes off. *headdesk*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Surprised there's nothing about how seagulls are like ducks (https://twitter.com/LKHamilton/status/558330210618474496) or invisible carousels (https://twitter.com/LKHamilton/status/558716577592655875). Because that's what I think of when I see the majesty of seagulls and not at all that scene from Finding Nemo turned up to eleven. MINE!

[dagonista.livejournal.com]

That's crucial enough information that she's probably saving it for a book.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

ngl I'll be genuinely shocked if she does use it because it means Anita is looking at something beyond the scope of herself.

I'm struggling to think of any time when Anita was near water and coming up blank. There's a river in St Louis, yeah? But it's never mentioned. She went to Seattle that one time but she may as well have described Generic McAmerica (as filmed in Canada). idk it could just be me, but if I go places I make sure I enjoy some of the scenery. This includes my hometown because we do have some really nice places to just sit and enjoy oneself and it's nice to discover new things/stuff that's changed.

[dagonista.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is why when I go somewhere new, I like to walk to my destination so I can see some stuff and get my bearings.

Aha, but Merry is near the sea! And Sholto died at the sea! Maybe Merry will sit on the beach and wax lyrical about the seagulls as a metaphor for life and death and stuff.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

"Seagulls wheeling like an invisible carousel over the water. Sholto had promised to take me to Santa Monica Pier for a date only he'd been murdered before we could do that. I would never ride the carousel or Sholto again. I hated the seagulls for being so beautiful and reminding me of something so awful."

I need to mangle that further. Hmm.

[dagonista.livejournal.com]

More commas. More talk about how she loved him but not that kind of love, because Doyle and Frost, but she still loved him anyway even though he was somewhat deformed.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Also better than all those other people because she loved his extra bits even though she's still kinda icked by them. He could pass for a Sidhe except for those bits, though he could hide them as a tattoo so all of him was yummy goodness.

[dagonista.livejournal.com]

But now he's deeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

DEAD IS FOREVER!!!!11!!

Then flower petals rain down upon Merry for truly her heartache is pain of the ages. Somewhere, a man dressed as a giant rodent is brooding on a rooftop in the rain and about to punch random strangers in the face because his parents are dead. And yet he feels slightly better about his own life and life choices.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Not flower petals. Sea hare ink that SMELLS like flowers. Duh,

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

sunburns ruin all the outdoor fun, and some of the indoor fun, too.

Guys, guys, did you know LKH is sexually active?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE. Because Merry is attuned to the Goddess and can feel/see/know that She is near and listen to that 'quiet voice' that isn't really a voice but can be heard if you're special enough.

[jessica collett (from livejournal.com)]

I'm surprised she didn't feel the need to tell us that water in the ocean is as wet as water everywhere else.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

At first I was like "ok, nothing wrong here, trying too hard to be funny at some points but it's not bad or anything" and then

"That peregrines really are one of the most widespread birds of prey in the world. Totally didn’t expect to see one here, but it was loving on the seagulls in that serial killer sort of way."

LOVING ON THE SEAGULLS IN THAT SERIAL KILLER SORT OF WAY

THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF EVERY GROSS THING INVOLVING THE FETISHIZATION OF SERIAL KILLERS AND OLAF IN YOUR BOOKS, LKH

THANKS

[apep727.livejournal.com]

Wait, what?

[*goes back, reads*]

Holy shit, it actually says that. What the actual fuck?

[dagonista.livejournal.com]

Damn, I assumed she was talking about boardgames or something.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

There's a river in St Louis, yeah?

Haha, yeah. This little thing called the Mississippi. LKH is so terrible at creating a sense of place. St. Louis wouldn't exist without the Mississippi, and yet is it ever mentioned in her books at all?

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

She really thinks serial killers are an apex predator of some kind. Ugh, I need to take a shower.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

If you’re with the right person, walking hand in hand on a tropical beach is as romantic as it’s supposed to be.

Unlike if you're with the "wrong" person. LKH would know, as she has been with the wrong person before. Which she has to tell the world constantly. She can't even bring up how fun walking on the beach with someone is without slamming other people.

Warning for horrid grammar. (LKH-imitation, ahoy...)

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

Seagulls wheeling like an invisible carousel, over the water. I thought of Sholto, who had been killed by a jealous hater whiner baby Sidhe in an attempt to kill me. I would never again feel the embrace of his tentacles, which the Goddess's magic had turned into a tattoo, only this was a tattoo you could touch and feel. The last time we had made love was by the water. I wondered if he had been reborn as a seagull. {Insert bizarre mangling of Celtic mythology to justify this here}

Only Sholto would never be a seagull, he would be a peregrine, yeah. Loving on the seagulls in that serial killer way.

My eyes welled up. Damn pregnancy hormones. Post-pregnancy, now. I hated the water for, being so beautiful and yet reminding me of something so awful. Barthinus had talked to me about the cycle of life. I didn't care. I had loved Sholto, even if I hadn't loved him most of all my men; didn't that count for something?

As if in response to my weeping, rose petals began to rain down upon me like a blessing from the Goddess. "Goddess, why did he have to be taken from me?" I wept. Though the petals may have been meant as a comfort, they only overpoweringly reminded me of how Goddess had crowned me queen to Sholto's king, and handfasted us as she had given us the power to save Doyle, and...

I cried harder.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

as if the day grows up and gets hot and heavy by nightfall.
You know, I'm a pervert, but LKH has sex on the brain. Really forced sex on the brain. Come on, who in the world GENUINELY thinks of the day splooging all over the place as it descends into night?

Trust me on this, sunburns ruin all the outdoor fun, and some of the indoor fun, too.
*long silence*

We... know you have sex, LKH. Truly.

Though you'd never know it from the sex scenes

Totally didn’t expect to see one here, but it was loving on the seagulls in that serial killer sort of way.
*long silence*

I would pay to see Anita become the were-seagull to Olaf's were-peregrine, though. I can imagine Anita squawking furiously and dive-bombing a McDonald's because her inner seagull queen demanded soggy french-fries NOW. AWK AWK AWK!

Aside from the wanky stuff, this is actually a nice blog.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

The wrong person who is among other things the father of her child, and so far as we know he's a "good father" but she'd rather pretend he didn't exist so he's replaced by Jon in her references to 'our daughter' as often as possible.

Not that she's saying her ex is a bad father no no no, goodness me no, just that she'd rather he never existed.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I don't think she's ever mentioned the Mississippi in the books. There's been the Riverfront and I think maybe a passing reference to "over the river," but that's as far as it goes.

The more I think about this, the more pissed off I get that Anita never does anything for fun, doesn't have any friends outside of her "sweeties" or does things by herself. I'm pretty sure she'd have to be dragged kicking and screaming to try something new.

RE: Warning for horrid grammar. (LKH-imitation, ahoy...)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

THIS IS AMAZING AND YOU ARE A TREASURE.

[rebootfromstart.livejournal.com]

NGL, as an Aussie I'm looking at that bit and going no shit, because sun protection is something you learn really early here. Of course you have to reapply regularly and after you've been in the water! It doesn't last forever! How can she get the concept of reapplying lipstick but not sunscreen?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

HIGH FIVE FELLOW AUSSIE!

But yeah, sunscreen is pretty basic. It even has instructions for use on the tube/bottle so I have no idea how she can balls it up. Then again, she seems to think that SPF 100 is THE BEST when really the difference between that and SPF 50 is not that much at all.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Not mentioning the Mississippi in a series of books about St. Louis would be like not mentioning the Thames in books about London, but more so because London is so huge. LKH could do SO MUCH with this. The Mississippi was the eastern U.S.'s method of transportation west. Without it, everything about our history would have been different. St. Louis is one of the cities that was founded and flourished solely because it was along the Mississippi; the river is the life blood of the place. Think of all the vampire metaphors! But no, instead LKH makes St. Louis into anytown USA, which means it's notown USA, because there is no place that lacks identity to that extent.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

I have no idea why my comment got posted twice :P.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

She's so bitter. I do not believe that her previous marriage was an unremitting horror show. It's sad that she thinks you can only have a romantic stroll with the one right person, too, as if everything she did before is completely negated.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

The THREE right people!

It seems to me that she likes to negate the past and if she's in a relationship that she likes having, she never ever ever wants it to become difficult or end - hence the growing harems of her avatars. I can relate to that in real life. But it's disingenuous and childish to pretend that every relationship before THIS one was an unremitting failure and must be erased.

Shallow note: while it's actually good that she seems to respect Spike and Drusilla's desire for some privacy by not sharing photos of them, I kind of wish we could see what they look like. She shows photos of Jon often enough and they're not just side shags.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

She doesn't mention the Missouri River either, and while that's not as commonly referred to as the Mississippi, it's still HERE and people talk about it. Hell, even Thomas Harris mentioned both rivers in Red Dragon. He got St. Louis better than LKH did and she lives here!.

[jya-bd-cp-ttgb.livejournal.com]

*ignores blog, just snatches the sunset photo..and...as an afterthought..the sailboat photo...and runs away with them*