It's a bit weird but it works for us. Eight years running :D
Wow, I haven't seen that, but as someone who's in therapy for emotional volatility, that is terrible. If you don't have any coping mechanisms for dealing with emotional extremes, then you're never going to learn how to deal with them, especially if the only response from the people around you is "wow, poor you". I mean, yes, sympathy is nice, but sometimes the people around me remind me that my emotional responses are fucked and that I need to stop and look at what I'm feeling before I say something I'll later regret, and that's a good thing. Nothing but sympathy doesn't encourage recovery.
...honestly, I think one of the reasons I get so angry with what gets written is because of how much of it cuts so close to home to me personally. I could be Anita (well, without the sex of doom). I have a particular mental illness that, when untreated, can lead to the sort of idealisation and devaluation of relationships that I see in the books - her sweeties are the best! Everyone else is awful! If someone (Asher) does something wrong they're suddenly THE WORST EVER! Haters JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. Always needing proof that the people I care about really love me. Emotional swings that lead to raging at the dinner table to the point where Nathaniel and Micah have to massage her into calmness. The entire world revolving around ME and WHAT I FEEL. The more I read, the more it rings true, and it's upsetting. I'm not Anita, obviously, and I like to think I'm nothing like her because I acknowledge my condition and I'm in actual therapy for it, but seeing that sort of mentality written as though it's just a ~quirk~ and not something that's hell to live with, both for the sufferer and their loved ones, pisses me off.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-05-14 05:47 am (UTC)Wow, I haven't seen that, but as someone who's in therapy for emotional volatility, that is terrible. If you don't have any coping mechanisms for dealing with emotional extremes, then you're never going to learn how to deal with them, especially if the only response from the people around you is "wow, poor you". I mean, yes, sympathy is nice, but sometimes the people around me remind me that my emotional responses are fucked and that I need to stop and look at what I'm feeling before I say something I'll later regret, and that's a good thing. Nothing but sympathy doesn't encourage recovery.
...honestly, I think one of the reasons I get so angry with what gets written is because of how much of it cuts so close to home to me personally. I could be Anita (well, without the sex of doom). I have a particular mental illness that, when untreated, can lead to the sort of idealisation and devaluation of relationships that I see in the books - her sweeties are the best! Everyone else is awful! If someone (Asher) does something wrong they're suddenly THE WORST EVER! Haters JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. Always needing proof that the people I care about really love me. Emotional swings that lead to raging at the dinner table to the point where Nathaniel and Micah have to massage her into calmness. The entire world revolving around ME and WHAT I FEEL. The more I read, the more it rings true, and it's upsetting. I'm not Anita, obviously, and I like to think I'm nothing like her because I acknowledge my condition and I'm in actual therapy for it, but seeing that sort of mentality written as though it's just a ~quirk~ and not something that's hell to live with, both for the sufferer and their loved ones, pisses me off.