(no subject)

[ginavive.livejournal.com]

*walks into the room*
*slams her copy of Danse Macabre onto the floor*
*jumps up and down on top of the book screaming*


There, I feel better now.

This is some of the worse tripe I've ever had the misfortune of reading.

I'm going back to my Sookie Stackhouse books. I'm so sick of the goddamned harem, the mary-sueisms, Richard's whining, Micah's big dick, Nathaniel's goddamned biscuits, Jean-Claude's suddenly disapearing personality, Asher's missing spine, and Damian for being one of the most boring characters ever created.

Comments

[kidkai.livejournal.com]

I got about 4 pages before I gave it up. And those four pages were more skimmed than read. But as soon as she started the old "Richard hated himself for being a monster and hated me for being more comfortable with the mosters blah blah blah" I had to stop. I absolutely cannot read this thing.

[ladynicole99.livejournal.com]

*Writes down Nancy A. Collins on a post it*

Thanks!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Things I've found to help me get through LKH books without my brain exploding...too much:

1. Consider it as exceedingly awful self-insert Sue badfic. Hell, I'm pretty sure there's bad self-insert Suefic on FF.net that's incredibly good in comparison.

2. Realise that Anita is a very crappy narrator. And sadly, we're stuck with her POV. If this was written in third person, we might get a glimpse of how not-so-stupid the rest of the cast is. I've been finding lately (thanks a bunch to mneiai andher DM Richard's POV chapters and essays) that it's way more interesting to read between the lines and find out what kind of character probably lies behind the babble, and suddenly the universe is intersting again.

3. Realise that Damian (and quite a few other members of the cast - pun intended) is not a character. Characters have a personality, have nuances, things that make them seem real and alive. Damian et al. are just cardboard cutouts, or penises with names. Expecting something of substance from them is asking wayyy too much of the author.

4. Vent and bitch mightily if the previous three steps don't work. I like to write deathfic and snarky essays to help make myself feel better. And then I collapse into my Jim Butcher books to help scrub the Bad Book out of my brain.

All that said, I have to keep telling myself that investing in DM (even with a $9 discount) is not a wise thing to do with my tax return. *sits on hands to try to resist*

Alternatives that won't make your eyes bleed...

[jperceval.livejournal.com]

I second Jim Butcher. I also put forth Kim Harrison and Rachel Caine.

Re: Alternatives that won't make your eyes bleed...

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

I'll see your Jim Butcher and Kim Harrison and raise you a Carrie Vaughn

Re: Alternatives that won't make your eyes bleed...

[jperceval.livejournal.com]

And I'll add her to my to-try list!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Eh, not so crash hot on Kim Harrison. I'll read it, but...I keep bumping it down my reading list.

I prefer Simon R Green and Tanya Huff.

[jperceval.livejournal.com]

Yikes. How could I forget Tanya Huff? Wet noodle for me!

Laura Anne Gilman has an interesting series going as well -- the first book is Staying Dead. There's no sex, which is almost refreshing after AB.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

In a different vein may I suggest: Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, Dean Ing, Alexei Panshin, John Brunner, TJ Bass, PN Elrod, Catherine Asaro, Robin McKinnley, Wen Spencer, and Martina Cole?

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

Aw, you mentioned me! ::feels loved:: (and what she didn't say is that I'm incredibly awesome, as are my Richard essays (http://community.livejournal.com/contraparrhesia/1140.html) :P No, really, she did!)


I definitely second the Tanya Huff mentioned farther down. Summon the Keeper is possibly my all time favorite book, plus it's hilarious and the character is a female you can like. ^.^

[firesongvx.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude, I've reread Summon the Keeper so many times that I need to get a new copy of the thing! That book is fucking *brilliant*! Have you read the others in the series?

*Definitely* seconding Tanya Huff as well, btw, and I'm just starting to check out Kim Harrison. It appears I need to add Jim Butcher to the list as well!

[nightmer.livejournal.com]

I agree completely. After a while I just kept reading because surely it couldn't get any worse. And then it did.

It deserves some sort of award not only for being the worst book in a once great series, but truly one of the most awful books I have ever read.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

My flatmate poor_toms_acold had the same problem with the 4th Merry Gentry book. Eventually she just took it back to the library having only read half.

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

But tell us how you really feel... *grin*

I gave up long ago. You have my sympathy.

[coffeehouse.livejournal.com]

I saw it at the Borders the other day and sniggered.
I bought "Fist Full of Charms" instead.
I second the Nancy Collins" Sonja Blue series. I wasn't able to get my hands on all of them yet, but I really enjoyed the ones I did get to read.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

Hmmm....I haven't read Sonja Blue, but I did read a novella of hers in a vampire anthology once, called "The Vampire Sextette."


I would like to read her sometime. I heard they were good.

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

I bought Sylvia plath instead of Danse Macabre. And 12 sharp. and Kitty goes to Washington. I really hope that Anita finally shapeshifts but when she does she turns into a wolf or lion so she can't date Micah and Nathienal anymore. It mentions somewhere in the book that the dominants that are high ranking don't date shapeshifters that aren't whatever lycanthrope they are.
I am so evil but that would make cackle with triumph. Of course LKH would never do that and deny the reader Micah's gigantic dick.

[judes.livejournal.com]

i spent most of the book thinking that anita should just bloody shapeshift into a lion so i can cackle at her idiocy. if she shifts into a leopard....ARGH. more leopard family love blah blah blah. who the hell cares.

but i want anita to at least shift into SOMETHING and none of this "i carry x number of strains" thing.

[jperceval.livejournal.com]

Maybe she can shift into a beetle and we can stomp on her.

[kidkai.livejournal.com]

I was kind of hoping her inner leopard and her inner wolf would battle it out and she'd be eaten to death from the inside out.

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

I'm reading Kitty Goes To Washington as we speak.

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

That is a good book :)