Just the usual nonsense...

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

Blog flog: Friday, June 03, 2005
http://www.eridine.com/blog/2005_06_01_archive.html

As ever, LKH's stuff in italics, mine not so much.

One thing that used to concern me was when I was between two and three hundred pages in and still had not gotten to the full meat of the mystery or main plot.... Lots of stuff is happening, important stuff, but the fact that there's no villain in sight, well, I'm cool with that. I knew the first half of this book was mainly to solidify control of the arduer and the whole powers thing, and that's what we're doing.

Three hundred pages in and there's no sign of a bad guy, much less a plot? That's never a good sign. Especially in a series which is supposed to be mystery-driven (but we all know how much that is not happening). Sounds like the next Anita "novel" is going to be a work to rival Incubus Dreams, all right.

Though, unfortunately Anita and Richard have already had one fight. I was really hoping for at least one book where we didn't fight.

I'm just going to attempt to ignore the "we". Why do we have to have a book where they don't fight? If I was Richard, and the girl I (for some sick, masochistic reason) liked was sleeping with -- what is it now? -- eight other guys? Well, needless to say, I'd be somewhat annoyed. Actually, I'd have dumped her hiney ages ago, but of course, this is LKH's world, and no one's ever allowed to leave. I pity those poor characters.

Since some people seem a little puzzled by the concept of the whole novel-lite, and what it means, I'm going to be doing an essay about it in the next newsletter.

Hm. That says so many things about her remaining fanbase, I think. ;)

Comments

[windiain.livejournal.com]

That "we"? Disturbs me greatly... O.o

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

Yup. Hence why I was trying my bestest to ignore it. Don't know whether she's lumping herself in with her characters here, or whether it's more of the whole "oops, thought I was Anita there for a minute" thing. Either way, I'm gonna say it's not of the good. ;)

[nanale.livejournal.com]

The first time I read her "penguin mug" blog, I started to fear for her mental sanity, now I think, she has lost the connection to her surrounding and lives in her own world. Remember the "ivory tower" comment in her so called political blog? Remember her statements about the characters speaking to her or not speaking to her in RAZ's case? Her inability to see, why someone criticizes her work? The use of "we" to address Anita and her fight with RAZ stands in this line and is one more prove for my thoughts.

An other thing that ticks me off: she can't even spell ARDEUR. Darn, she introduced this CPD in her story, I expect at least, that she can write it. The same with VOILA. Why can't she use a dictionary? Why can't she use spell check? Why? Because she thinks, that she knows all? Because she's afraid, that it would make her appear dumb? She still doesn't seem to understand, that she's on the way to become a negative example of an author.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

asdfghjkl;SHE'S THREE HUNDRED PAGES INTO THE NEW BOOK AND THERE IS NO PLOT???

*HEADDESK*

It's worse than Incubus Dreams. Because now she's lulled herself (probably not without some help from her cheerleaders Jon and Darla) into believing that it's okay to write 600+ pages of plotless porn, because she has an Artistic Vision that must be shared with the world!

...I'm wondering when she'll wise up to the fact that, okay, she has an Artistic Vision, but she also has House Payments, Utilities, and a College-Bound Daughter, and if she expects her increasingly disgruntled fan base to pay for all of the above, she damn well better start listening to them.

And, *snort* Anita's bedroom politics aside, when a character's based on you and another character's based on your ex-husband? Damn skippy they'll be at each others' throats on a regular basis. What else did you expect? Especially since you insisted on making him a permanent character in the series (hi--easily taken care of if you really want to, just kill him off. Whoops, sorry, forgot--you're too attached). They've been fighting since, oh, only about the SIXTH book in the series, and seven books later you expected it to suddenly stop?

The crazy, it is strong in this one.

...some people seem a little puzzled by the concept of the whole novel-lite, and what it means...

Read: The fanbase has collectively stated OMGWTF?!? and wonders what kind of crack LKH is on to make her think that any sort of paeon to MICAH of all characters is a good idea.

(Seriously, the Micah-novel concept sounds like a half-arsed tribute by a particularly zealous fangirl--EXCEPT IT'S PUBLISHED CANON! *cue Twilight Zone music*)

[d3athw1sh.livejournal.com]

The fact that there is no plot and no "villian" 300 pages into the book, makes me wonder why anyone is still reading her books. If things continue to progress the way they are now, then I might not even buy this new book.

Also, didn't she say that Edward and Olaf would be in book 13? If that is true, there is your plot! Though, she isn't ready to introduce Edward and Olaf back into the story, what with the constint sex and such. If she did that, she would lose much more than her fanbase than she already has.

Also, I feel that LKH should take a page from JK Rowlings actions and kill of a character or two, cry about it for a few days, and then continue to write. It might actually help with that little problem with not being able to fit all of the characters into the books.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Dude, she said Edward would appear in Cerulean Sins. He was totally meant to turn up in that book. Instead? He got a footnote. A measly "Oh yeah, Edward - he's a pyscho." mention.

I...really want to make those "Have you seeh this man?" posters now. Though, knowing our luck, Edward's stuck on some magical island that has polar bears and a heap of mysterious people from a plane crash, and all those myserious people have exciting and myserious stories. And a hobbit.

[d3athw1sh.livejournal.com]

I know. I think Edward just might have been able to make Incubus Dreams better, but Anita wouldn't be able to have sex with him, so he couldn't fit in.

I think that is the perfect story line for a fanfic.

Edward has been missing for a while. After an incident involving Anita Blake and a demi-god, he decided that he needed a vacation for a little while. Little to his knowledge, the plane he was on would crash, abandoning him and his fellow passengers on an uncharted island.

Edward/Lost fanfic! Fangirls would go wild. *shudders*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Y'know, if it were done well - I'd probably read it. Even if there was like Edward/Sawyer slash.

But the key words are done and well.

...yeaah, I'm just gonna try to forget that I even came up with the idea.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Everything about that entry disturbed me. The one thing that got to me, though (besides the use of 'we' to address Anita's and Richard's fight *shudder*) is that she's okay to be 300 pages into a novel--remember Guilty Pleasures? Yeah, that was around 300 by my recollection--without any villain or plot in sight.

...What the hell. Remember a time when the villain was introduced FIRST HAND? Now it's being brushed off 300 pages into the book! That's...pathetic! Besides, the whole "the first half of this book was mainly to solidify control of the arduer and the whole powers thing"? I thought the previous three books had been written to do just that. Control of the arduer should've been a problem long-handled, my dear. This is incredibly disappointing.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

YOU BEAT ME TO IT!

I saw that entry this morning, but I was too fried to hit it as soon as it came up. Then I was awake until nearly 4am. *facepalm*

1. Anita gained control of the ardeur in Incubus Dream. It happened when blood loss finally kicked in after she'd been bled by Damian, bled by Primo, bled by Requiem, bled for the fucking zombie and still managed to sex everyone eighty million ways to Sunday. She sat all quiet and shocky in the back of the car and suddenly went, "OMFG! I can control it! Yayz!" and then, "Oh shits. It's killing Damian. I'd better sex some more to keep him alive."

All because she levelled up with the first triumvirate. Please roll for new idea.

2. Quit with the freaking ardeur already. It's been there for three books and hasn't had any resolution. The problem with the original triumvirate and the fourth freaking mark has been lingering since...oh, BOOK SIX and since it concerns JC, Richard and Anita and the whole prospect of, y'know, surviving eternity - you'd think it'd be a little bit more important than all this other stuff.

In short: solve the Defcon 1 problem before you get to the Code Mauve or Marigold or whatever colour level threat is going on. It's like trying to use a seive to bail out a sinking boat when all you have to do is plug the hole.

Plugging holes would probably solve a great many other problems too.

3. If you have to spend 300+ pages establishing this newfound control thingy, you're doing something wrong. Really. Most of it can probably be cut down to a chapter or two. An editor (who is your best friend in all the freaking world!) will be able to help you with this. They will also point out ways to improve structure, spelling and grammar.

I'm pretty much prepared to offer my services for free, even knowing the eye-gouging, ear-bleeding insanity may well ensue should I gaze upon the manuscript.

Who wants to bet good money that these 300 or so pages are Anita sexing up people, realising that she loves them in her own special way, and then angsting about what this means to the other boys and how she's going to try and protect them all, pay speshul attention to them, work and kick Evil's arse?

I think I know why there's no bad guy thus far, they're all on holiday. They can't be arsed beaming into her backyard, and since she's so freaking busy getting bizzay, they figure she'll sex everyone to death. So they went to the pub for a round of drinks.

They probably trade stories with Sauron and the real Darth Vader.

4. ...what's up with the 'we' business?

Laurell K. Hamilton is starting to really scare me.

5. Yes, I'm puzzled over what this "novel-ite" thing is and what it means.

I'm guessing that it's either:
A) A short novel, aka a novella. Or short novel. Or *gasp* an actual novel but since it's taking 300 pages to introduce a concept that probably only needs one tenth, if that, to settle, that's probably asking wayyy too much brain power to understand.

B) A new word that she's made up to make herself even more unique and appear to be academic. We covered this in our creative writing classes, and discussed how it's Americans that are quite good at making up new words and terms when there are more concise terms already in use, and are accepted by all the great literary minds.

Course, then there's the argument that if you can't see the brilliance of the term, then you're just evil, spiteful and omg jealous of her enormous talent.

or C) some sort of small, parasitic arthropod that causes skin rash. It dwells dormant in the pages of a book, and latches onto your hair follicles when you touch the paper. Then it feeds on blood and possibly sebacious excretions, lays its egs and dies. Thus, the life cycle of a novel-ite.

*headdesk*

Honey, you shouldn't have to write an essay to explain something like this.

But you go for it, knock yourself out. Try to justify yourself and feed us ammo. We need the laugh.

[/rant]

*breathes*

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

MY personal belief at this point is that the villains are in absentia because no self respecting villain wishes to risk a run in with the all shtupping slut monster of doom that Anita has become.

Failing that, frankly, the entire series is striking me, at this point, as what happens to a great ABVH RPG when everyone runs out of plot ideas. The characters then all go pair off and screw like bunnies, often, the pairings are odd, or involve more than just pairs...hmmm....that sounds like a trend.

She accuses so many of us of being such prudes, yet...might I ask one thing? Where are the other female characters? Why is Anita JUST going for men? C'mon..in for a penny, in for a pound, right? Or is there that deep down rational feeling somewhere that at least SOMEONE should still be safe, characterwise, from our lady of the spread and readies?

-Dira-

[in10sity.livejournal.com]

from our lady of the spread and readies? Awesome.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Why thank you!

-Dira-

[dwg.livejournal.com]

There can't be any chicks. Cuz...LKH (and thus Anita and Merry) is straight. And eww, girl germs. And...why go for a girl when there's a plethora of erect penises everywhere?

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

Did anyone else's brain suddenly go to the South Park episode where Mr.Garrison was writing a romance novel?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

No, but I'm there now.

It's...so apt.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

She's just a PRUDE!

*WEG*

-Dira-