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[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

Hello!

I am brand new to the Anita Blake novels, and I have not yet read any of LKH's other works, and at this point, I'm not sure I'm going to. I was introduced to the AB novels by a friend, and from the very first page, I was completely sucked in. Luckily, my friend had every single novel up through Incubus Dreams so over the last couple of months, I've read them all back to back. Now I'm up to Chapter 63 in ID, and I'm having a hard time finishing it.

Bear with me, I have a lot to rant about.

When the novels started out, I was surprised that I'd never heard of them before, loving the Vampire genre as it were. Never had a thing for Werewolves much, but surprisingly, as I read, I found myself really loving the wereanimals more than the Vamps. Then I started to see a few cracks.

(Spoilers throughout.)



"Breath" and "Breathe" are not interchangable. "Breath" is a noun. "Breathe" is a verb. The first time I noticed this, I thought, "Ah, typo. You don't see that too often in books." The twentieth time I saw it, I got annoyed. Then there are the apostrophes in the wrong places. Ugh.

LKH seems to use the same expressions and terms over and over. Example: "I nodded, realized he/she couldn't see it..." with the telephone. After about the tenth time, I was yelling, "ENOUGH ALREADY!" Same with clothing and weapons. I don't need to know exactly what she's wearing down to her socks every time she leaves the house. And I know what her weapons are, can she just put them on without details and get on with it? Not to mention when she describes down to undies what every single man in the room is wearing as well. I. Don't. Care! Maybe if it's important to the plot (The instance where Anita had to fight with that dress every time she wanted to get the gun out of the stomach holster was rather amusing) but otherwise, spare me, please!

Does LKH have an editor? I'm not asking rhetorically...does she have an editor? Because if she does, she should fire her/him and get a good one.





I know I'm supposed to love Jean-Claude, I do. But I find him so boring I want to cry every time the plot switches to him. I don't find him sexy, I don't find him interesting...the only thing I find him is extremely, laughably feminine. I don't think he and Anita have any kind of chemistry, and no real connection, save for maybe a mentor/student kind of thing.

And Richard. *holds head* Oh, Richard. How did he turn from such a nice, strong, sexy man into a sniveling, cruel, pathetic creature? I loved Richard. Now I hate him.

I know that LKH fancies herself to be Anita, but has LKH never heard the term "Mary Sue"? Does Anita have to be the best at every. single. thing? Pretty soon she's going to be so powerful the entire world will just fall at her feet. And she'll probably fuck all of them, too. Except the icky girls...LKH seems to have some sort of homophobic thing going on at times. Other times she doesn't. I'm so confuuuused!





For the most part, I have loved these stories, grammar errors and crappy characterization aside. Because LKH knows how to weave one hell of a tale.

Until the ardeur.

In theory, I was okay with the ardeur. But when you've got former Ms. No Sex USA suddenly fucking, like, ten guys in one day? Uh, no. What the hell happened? Anita has got to get a grip on this or this series is done. (If it isn't already.) Are we really expected to believe that all these men would be willing to put up with Anita's shit because she's just sooooooooo desirable? Puh-leeze. I don't have a problem with the pomme de sang idea...it's the feeding it every two hours with everyone and their dog...or should I say leopard that is just ridiculous. She's fucking people we hadn't even heard of until the last book! What the hell!?





The one character that LKH has managed to make me love unconditionally is Nathaniel. I haven't had this big a crush on a book character in years. Which is why, in Incubus Dreams I was so happy that Anita finally consummated with him. The problem is this: when I initially read that part, I admit, I skipped ahead. I'd fallen so hard for Nathaniel that I just had to know if they finally had sex with each other or not. And I read where they did (the first time) and was really excited, because it really came across that Anita was really falling for Nathaniel and I was happy about that. But then, when I went back and read it in context with everything else that was going on...oh man. Talk about ruining something that could have been so beautiful. Not only does she fuck...oh, let me see...like, four guys before Nathaniel, then she turns and fucks Richard and Jean-Claude right after! Now I know we're talking about my own expectations, here, but damn, that sucked. It's like LKH is so busy trying to get to the next shocking thing that she doesn't slow down and let any real relationships build between the characters. And that is so disappointing. I know fanfic writers who are better than that.



*Breathes* Sorry for my excessively long post, but I'd been needing to vent for ages, and I couldn't really vent to the person who loaned me the books, because she's an avid supporter of LKH's work. But I am very happy to find this community, and I know y'all understand. :)

Comments

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Hey, rant away!

I actually DO like Jean Claude, not so much Richard, but it pisses me off to all hell and back that she can't even write a decent sex scene with him in it, for all the damned sex in the books. (Or a decent sex scene, for that matter, but that's a whole 'nother line of bitching...)

The grammar, spelling, and repetition, not to mention inconsistencies, do get old fast, don't they? I used to be willing to overlook them when there was, oh, I dunno, a PLOT?

About the only way I ever felt about Nate there was that the poor kid needs serious therapy, and not to be man #947 with our lady of the spraddled thighs. I honestly saw it as similar in form to a therapist or parent diddling their patient or kid when she slept with him. Ditto on feeding on him. I thought it horribly unethical, and it squicked the hell out of me. Damn kid is already hypersexualized enough. I lost tons and tons of respect for the character there. He's co-dependence on legs, and she friggin' used him. Mentor and protector fine, But when you start sleeping with someone in that position, it is a form of taking advantage.

SO agreed on the who the HELL are the fifty seven FNG's. Byron? WTF? Who IS this guy? And...come on, with the names! REQUIEM? What the hell is he, a classic work of literature with nuns in the title?

Oh, and didn't she give the impression at some point that The Dragon was MALE, or at least, that Belle and the Q of N were the females on the council, and the rest male? Or was that just me?

*Twitches, and moves off muttering in disgust.*

Gimme us back our ex-Catholic 'good' girl with the gun and the plot!

(And thank GOD for Kim Harrison's Dead Witch Walking series!)

-Dira-

[http://users.livejournal.com/belladonna_/]

I totally agree on the Nathaniel/molestation thing. Likewise the names. Requiem. Every time I read that name I had to pause, and say to myself, "REQUIEM?" *snort* before I could go on reading. It was very distracting. :)

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

God, wasn't it? And don't even get me started on what she DID with him....

-Dira-

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

I actually have Kim Harrison's book to read next, from the same friend who lent me the Anita Blake books. She said "Eh, it's okay." But I think I'll take your word for it now! heh

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I honestly did enjoy them. They do have similarities with the early Anita's, but the world is original, and is all Harrison's.

They have the sexual tension, but generally, not the sex. Two books, and only one actual full scene. It wasn't bad.

Ah, yes, and even if at times, you've figured it out before Rachel Morgan, the main character does, at least it has PLOT, and an often decent attempt at mystery.

-Dira-

[tsula.livejournal.com]

"Requiem" is better than "Wicked" and *dramatic pause* "Truth", who join together at the ass to form *dramatic pause deux* "WICKED TRUTH"... fear them... what the hell? WORST. NAMES. EVER.

What's next? Growly (sic) the Werewolf?

and yeah, I was under the impression that the Dragon was male as well.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

I was trying to recall what she'd named those two, so as to include them in the rant, but may well have blocked it out due to the inherent agony in just thinking about it...

-Dira-

[http://users.livejournal.com/belladonna_/]

*Breathes* Sorry for my excessively long post, but I'd been needing to vent for ages, and I couldn't really vent to the person who loaned me the books, because she's an avid supporter of LKH's work.

"Breathes"? Are you sure you don't mean "breaths"? :P

I feel your pain on all of those points, save one: I adore Jean Claude, and I think Richard is dumb. However, I think both of them are way too cool to put up with Anita's crap.

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

I had a feeling that a lot of people would disagree with me on Jean-Claude. I'm not sure why I find him so boring.

"Breathes"? Are you sure you don't mean "breaths"? :P

Bwee! ;P

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Apparently, yes, there's an editor. The book goes through a first draft, has some corrections *shudder* then goes off to print. I'm guessing this is because the editor is now putting a dent in Thorazine supplies, having been turned into a jibbering nervous wreck. This is why I want to get a couple of copies of Incubus Dreams, edit them and send one to the publisher and one to LKH.

Just...stick with it. Chapter 65 is when there's a long awaited return to PLOT.

Oh hell, just read all about my problems with Incubus Dreams here (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=dwg&keyword=Incubus+Dreams&filter=all). It's kinda like reading the book witout having to read the book. But if you've read the book, you'll know what I'm going on about.

You're not the only one that knows fanfic writers who can spin a better tale. Umm...Nocturne Eternal (http://www.members.tripod.com/nocturne-eternal/site_map__text_links_only.htm) has some pretty Nathaniel stuff.

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

Ooh. I will definitely read Nocturne Eternal. Thanks for the link! I will also read your ID review. I sat up pretty late last night and read almost all of the entries in this community so I could get a feel of what things were like, and I think I'm going to like it here. Everyone is so intelligent and have great points.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Aww. Wam fuzzy feelings will now abound. Wilkommen.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Yay, I've been trying to find the person who wrote a chapter by chapter summary for Incubus Dreams! :D I started reading it a while ago when you posted it (I'm assuming it was you) in the Anita Blake comm. (whatever it's called) but lost the link. An entertaining read.

Has anybody done a chapter by chapter summary for Cerulean Sins? With all the horrible reviews both books have gotten (and I'm almost possitive I'll hate them as well; I even thought Narcissus in Chains had too much sex) I'm kind of deterred from ever reading those two books unless LKH makes a come back (which is doubtful, but I'm still crossing my fingers). Thanks!

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

I don't mind a lot of sex in a book, as long as it's well-written sex, and not gratuitous. Most of LKH's sex scenes seem like they are just an excuse to try to shock us. They have no real point in the plot. We can know and understand the ardeur without having to hear all the details of every single person Anita has sex with.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Ick, I know. I don't mind sex scenes at all myself, unless it's (like you've said) well-written and isn't copy and pasted from the previous chapter...or page, in some instances. You know, at least give us a different position, size of dick, and description already, LKH! Jesus!

I think I read too much smut to begin with...heh heh. But I already KNOW it's smut before I read it, you know? Repetitive sex scenes are one of my biggest pet peeves.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Rant on writing sex scenes inspired, frankly, by the ghastliness of LKH. Mine, with commentaries by dwg

Please do not click if under 18, mature content. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/olihin_xe/10603.html#cutid1)

There. The obligatory disclaimer!

-Dira-

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

"Well, gag me with a...well, never mind."

LOL, that was a good read! Plus, you hit all the core spots that make some, if not many, sex scenes just plain out bad. You should probably link this to an LKH forum or hell, her inbox.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

dwg wrote the chapter by chapter.

She's doing them now starting at the beginning, as well.

-Dira-

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I know I did a vague summary of Cerulean Sins - but I'll do a better one when I get to it. I'm going to go through the entire series to date (um, minus Incubus Dreams because it's been done and I'm not THAT crazy) and I'll probably go through the Merry Gentry books too.

I just finished The Laughing Corpse (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=muse_abuse&keyword=Books+-+The+Laughing+Corpse&filter=all) and get to spam the hell out of everyone about it. :D

Er...yeah, if you didn't like NiC or ID, you won't like CS. Though, CS tried to be political, and relevant to the kids of today - there's international terrorists. But they're foiled by breasts.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

*wipes away a tear* *hugs* Welcome to the fold - you'll find a good home here.

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! *Offers a tissue*

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

New meat! Kya ha ha! Nah, we're all friendly folk around here -- we just enjoy our snark. And we're more than happy to have anyone who can spin a good rant! ;)

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

Eh heh heh. Don't get me started. ;)

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Ah, aren't rants refreshing? It's a perpetual snark-fest here. :D

And I can sympathize on the whole friend scenario. Talking to an avid LKH fan about ID is like talking to a Republican (by what I've noticed)...or like talking to a Democrat for all the Republicans out there. Either way you look at it, it's difficult and circular if the person isn't being reasonable...like an avid fan would be (not to sound judging of your friend, that is).

[nanale.livejournal.com]

Hi and welcome!
My feelings tell me, that you'll have a good time here. ;)

(Oh and sorry, my english isn't the best.)