Blogflog: HOMG WYNTAH!
Nov. 13th, 2006 04:50 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
dwg.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
lkh_lashoutsURL: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2006/11/frost.html
LKH = italics.
Me = not.
I'm picking out the choice phrases because A) this is the OMFG GIANT SLAB OFDEATH TEXT!!! B) I'm trying to ignore things like "every where" and "name sake" and basic grammatical things that we know will be cocked right up, and C) it honestly hurts to try and follow it all the way through.
I left Jon to snooze. He'd requested a little more sleep. I'm fine with that.
Oh gosh, why does this read like Jon's gotten permission to sleep in?
JON: Honey, can I have an extra hour's sleep? I've been a good boy and eaten all my greens.
LKH: *rubs chin* Well, I don't know...
JON: *puppy eyes* Pwease? Just one hour more sleep.
LKH: ...maybe, if you make it up to me later.You know I need your waking life to revolve utterly around me.
It's not just a frost, it's a killing frost. I'm suddenly thinking of Merry and her world. I'm thinking of our Killing Frost. I'm thinking of him as I stand there with Pip tugging on his leash. I breathe in the cold air with that winter bite to it, and I'm thinking of Frost. He comes to me as if his name sake conjured him. I can almost feel his arms, how tall he is, how solid, how strangely real.
Okay, I'm now officially afraid. For two reasons:
1) That blog entry will probably wind up, word for word, in the next MG book, or something similar in AB:VH and I am reaaaallly Not Amused that she likes to write in useless, Urple, repetitive phrases for just a regular blog entry.
LKH, this is not wax poetical. It's not pretty prose. It is painful to behold!
2) While it's always scary when the Royal "We" shows up, I'm more scared because it suddenly got ditched and Frost was like, RIGHT THERE, feelin' her up.
Though, I do get the notion that she stood there and ran through all these phrases in her head, Anita-esque with her head tilted to the side, eyes glazed, and she was trying hard to remember the words so she could rush upstairs to write them down. Meanwhile, the dogs are running around crazily, and frostbite will set in on her toes.
I stand there with a herd of pugs around my feet, and the big puppy like a black giant amount them, and I'm faraway in my head.
One of these words is not like the others, one of these words isn't the same...
AMOUNT???
OH MY GOD, THE POOR PUGS! She's standing there in the yard, monologuing while her pugs are getting mounted by the black puppy???
It took me a good few minutes to realise, "Oh. She means among."
AIII, that was just...so...wrong.
How it melts if you touch it with your finger tips. It turns to ice, to water, at the warmth of my fingers.
Um, basic laws of thermodynamics meets basic biology here.
Humans = exothermic. We give off heat. Therefore, when touching ice it will melt.
The only time you'd ever create ice by touching water is if you've suddenly undergone a massive endothermic reaction, in which case, you will die because you can't maintain homeostasis.
Or you get superpowers.
Just so we're clear, superego does not equal superpowers. Mmkay?
Maybe she meant to write, "it turns from ice..." but...gads, these days, who can tell?
My touch, my warmth, destroys it, like some delicate work of art that you've rubbed too hard.
I really didn't want to know that about her and art. Really. Just...WTF?
Please to be staying away from my paints and sketchbooks, lady.
I stand there and think, this is Frost's namesake, this is what he is, what he became.
Uhhh...okay. I was under the impression that Frost was named after the frost, therefore HE'S the one with the namesake, not the other way around.
Then again, I'm not sure which one came first - Frost, or the frost (chicken, egg?) - but this...this is just irking me and this is as close as I can come to putting my finger on why.
Some writers would be going, no, don't think about another book before you've finished this one. I think it's a good sign.
Well, it's a good sign in that we'll probably get plenty of wank about it and fodder for the community. But other than that? No. TAKE A BREAK, LADY! GIVE YOUR HANDS A REST!
I think by the time I take my two weeks off, I will be ready to sit down and write.
sjkhdfal; She takes two weeks off between books? That just seems so very wrong to me. I know I get into a post-story haze and can't do anything for at least two days afterward. After finishing a book? Two weeks doesn't seem nearly long enough. I don't care if she switches worlds, give your mind a rest, woman! Let the batteries recharge, get some family time with your kid!
I actually know less about what will happen in book six than I ever have with a Merry book. Once, that would have bothered me, but not now,now it feels like freedom, as if I'd over plotted, over planned.
There...there was plot with the MG books? *points finger of accusation* LIAR!!!
Time to grab the trapeze again, and soar. Time to let go and see who catches me. Today, it feels like I know whose hands would be there waiting to pull me into his arms. Frost is talking in my head, not in words, but in touches, the way his hair feels against my face, all tactile and touch.
Oh lord, Frost is molesting her grey matter? YIKES.
Not to mention, uh, LKH? Tactile is touch. *points to dictionaries and thesauruses* Use them, love them, they are your friends. And what's more, they're actually real and not figments of your imagination!
I get writers asking me how do you make your characters so real?
AHH HA HA HA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *wipes away tears*
Oh, I needed that laugh. Characters? Real? *fits of giggles*
I talk about needing to know the hair color, eye color, height, skin tone, all the building blocks, but in the end it's the way their smile lights their face.
Nevermind all that pesky personality business, or personal history - FEH! That just weighs down everything, doesn't it? Makes it so much harder and more difficult to talk about. JUST SO LONG AS THEY FLASH THOSE PEARLY WHITES, ALL IS WELL IN LKH-LAND!!!
Man, I wonder if she's ever looked into the history of dentistry. That'd screw her little fantasy right up.
In the end it's that I know how it feels to have Frost's arms wrapped around me from behind. I know the feel of his body. I know the texture of his hair, and how it looks in different kinds of light as it spills around his face. I can feel him. I realize that that is often the way for me.
Hey, what about the frequency of his bowel movements? Or, because he's a fairy, he needs not to use the bathroom - EVER!? What about if he stubs his toe on the doorframe, or is banned from the kitchen after he set the curtainsand Galen on fire??? HUH? Because with all the other inane Frost-info that we're probably gonna have spewed at us in this books, we might as well get the whole shebang rather than the key points done ad nauseum and ad infinitum.
But if she did that, he might become a real boy and not just a cardboard cutout. o_0
I know my characters the way you know your best friends, and in some cases your spouses. I choose the word spouse carefully here, because I've talked to too many people that see lovers as causal. I am not causal with my characters. I know them as you begin to know a spouse. That day in, day out, familiarity, that you need to truly KNOW someone.
Oh, but do we truly ever KNOW anyone? [/wanky philosophy]
Really, that kind of emotional and psychological attachment is all kinds of messed right up. I don't want to speculate too much on LKH's mental state, but I have to wonder about the whole "My mother died when I was very young" and how she's never gotten over the tragedy is why now nobody can leave anyone in either series - everyone has to stay. Everyone has to be safe. Everyone has to be omgsoinlove. It's like the books are feeding some big, dire, emotional void that she just keeps picking at instead of going to get the right kinda help and support to heal.
Or maybe I just shoulda said, "Abandonment issues, much???" because it's easier to type and says everything in one neat hit.
I will say this, having the LKH RSS feed on my f-list makes me feel better as a writer, because as much as I do wank on - I know there's at least someone out there that's wayyy crazier than I am.
LKH = italics.
Me = not.
I'm picking out the choice phrases because A) this is the OMFG GIANT SLAB OF
I left Jon to snooze. He'd requested a little more sleep. I'm fine with that.
Oh gosh, why does this read like Jon's gotten permission to sleep in?
JON: Honey, can I have an extra hour's sleep? I've been a good boy and eaten all my greens.
LKH: *rubs chin* Well, I don't know...
JON: *puppy eyes* Pwease? Just one hour more sleep.
LKH: ...maybe, if you make it up to me later.
It's not just a frost, it's a killing frost. I'm suddenly thinking of Merry and her world. I'm thinking of our Killing Frost. I'm thinking of him as I stand there with Pip tugging on his leash. I breathe in the cold air with that winter bite to it, and I'm thinking of Frost. He comes to me as if his name sake conjured him. I can almost feel his arms, how tall he is, how solid, how strangely real.
Okay, I'm now officially afraid. For two reasons:
1) That blog entry will probably wind up, word for word, in the next MG book, or something similar in AB:VH and I am reaaaallly Not Amused that she likes to write in useless, Urple, repetitive phrases for just a regular blog entry.
LKH, this is not wax poetical. It's not pretty prose. It is painful to behold!
2) While it's always scary when the Royal "We" shows up, I'm more scared because it suddenly got ditched and Frost was like, RIGHT THERE, feelin' her up.
Though, I do get the notion that she stood there and ran through all these phrases in her head, Anita-esque with her head tilted to the side, eyes glazed, and she was trying hard to remember the words so she could rush upstairs to write them down. Meanwhile, the dogs are running around crazily, and frostbite will set in on her toes.
I stand there with a herd of pugs around my feet, and the big puppy like a black giant amount them, and I'm faraway in my head.
One of these words is not like the others, one of these words isn't the same...
AMOUNT???
OH MY GOD, THE POOR PUGS! She's standing there in the yard, monologuing while her pugs are getting mounted by the black puppy???
It took me a good few minutes to realise, "Oh. She means among."
AIII, that was just...so...wrong.
How it melts if you touch it with your finger tips. It turns to ice, to water, at the warmth of my fingers.
Um, basic laws of thermodynamics meets basic biology here.
Humans = exothermic. We give off heat. Therefore, when touching ice it will melt.
The only time you'd ever create ice by touching water is if you've suddenly undergone a massive endothermic reaction, in which case, you will die because you can't maintain homeostasis.
Or you get superpowers.
Just so we're clear, superego does not equal superpowers. Mmkay?
Maybe she meant to write, "it turns from ice..." but...gads, these days, who can tell?
My touch, my warmth, destroys it, like some delicate work of art that you've rubbed too hard.
I really didn't want to know that about her and art. Really. Just...WTF?
Please to be staying away from my paints and sketchbooks, lady.
I stand there and think, this is Frost's namesake, this is what he is, what he became.
Uhhh...okay. I was under the impression that Frost was named after the frost, therefore HE'S the one with the namesake, not the other way around.
Then again, I'm not sure which one came first - Frost, or the frost (chicken, egg?) - but this...this is just irking me and this is as close as I can come to putting my finger on why.
Some writers would be going, no, don't think about another book before you've finished this one. I think it's a good sign.
Well, it's a good sign in that we'll probably get plenty of wank about it and fodder for the community. But other than that? No. TAKE A BREAK, LADY! GIVE YOUR HANDS A REST!
I think by the time I take my two weeks off, I will be ready to sit down and write.
sjkhdfal; She takes two weeks off between books? That just seems so very wrong to me. I know I get into a post-story haze and can't do anything for at least two days afterward. After finishing a book? Two weeks doesn't seem nearly long enough. I don't care if she switches worlds, give your mind a rest, woman! Let the batteries recharge, get some family time with your kid!
I actually know less about what will happen in book six than I ever have with a Merry book. Once, that would have bothered me, but not now,now it feels like freedom, as if I'd over plotted, over planned.
There...there was plot with the MG books? *points finger of accusation* LIAR!!!
Time to grab the trapeze again, and soar. Time to let go and see who catches me. Today, it feels like I know whose hands would be there waiting to pull me into his arms. Frost is talking in my head, not in words, but in touches, the way his hair feels against my face, all tactile and touch.
Oh lord, Frost is molesting her grey matter? YIKES.
Not to mention, uh, LKH? Tactile is touch. *points to dictionaries and thesauruses* Use them, love them, they are your friends. And what's more, they're actually real and not figments of your imagination!
I get writers asking me how do you make your characters so real?
AHH HA HA HA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *wipes away tears*
Oh, I needed that laugh. Characters? Real? *fits of giggles*
I talk about needing to know the hair color, eye color, height, skin tone, all the building blocks, but in the end it's the way their smile lights their face.
Nevermind all that pesky personality business, or personal history - FEH! That just weighs down everything, doesn't it? Makes it so much harder and more difficult to talk about. JUST SO LONG AS THEY FLASH THOSE PEARLY WHITES, ALL IS WELL IN LKH-LAND!!!
Man, I wonder if she's ever looked into the history of dentistry. That'd screw her little fantasy right up.
In the end it's that I know how it feels to have Frost's arms wrapped around me from behind. I know the feel of his body. I know the texture of his hair, and how it looks in different kinds of light as it spills around his face. I can feel him. I realize that that is often the way for me.
Hey, what about the frequency of his bowel movements? Or, because he's a fairy, he needs not to use the bathroom - EVER!? What about if he stubs his toe on the doorframe, or is banned from the kitchen after he set the curtains
But if she did that, he might become a real boy and not just a cardboard cutout. o_0
I know my characters the way you know your best friends, and in some cases your spouses. I choose the word spouse carefully here, because I've talked to too many people that see lovers as causal. I am not causal with my characters. I know them as you begin to know a spouse. That day in, day out, familiarity, that you need to truly KNOW someone.
Oh, but do we truly ever KNOW anyone? [/wanky philosophy]
Really, that kind of emotional and psychological attachment is all kinds of messed right up. I don't want to speculate too much on LKH's mental state, but I have to wonder about the whole "My mother died when I was very young" and how she's never gotten over the tragedy is why now nobody can leave anyone in either series - everyone has to stay. Everyone has to be safe. Everyone has to be omgsoinlove. It's like the books are feeding some big, dire, emotional void that she just keeps picking at instead of going to get the right kinda help and support to heal.
Or maybe I just shoulda said, "Abandonment issues, much???" because it's easier to type and says everything in one neat hit.
I will say this, having the LKH RSS feed on my f-list makes me feel better as a writer, because as much as I do wank on - I know there's at least someone out there that's wayyy crazier than I am.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 06:40 pm (UTC)Fuck.
We're going to be subjected to more than five books of Merry and her harem?
*headdesk*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 06:46 pm (UTC)actually the first books had plot and lots of sex and not like with Anita we knew we were signing up for reading porn ... -
just the quality was not what one would have thoughtAnd that a whole book is about one day is kinda argh too
especially as she fucks more guys in a day than others do in their whole lifeno subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:35 pm (UTC)Maybe we'll get more than twenty-four hours in the next book.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 06:47 pm (UTC)I'm working under the theory that she'll never get around to it, and is trying to drive people to suicide, or at the very least, very serious brain injury because we've been bashing our heads against the wall.
*whimper* All I want in life is the tentacle porn. T_T
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:56 pm (UTC)And then have hot tentacled sex.no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 06:42 pm (UTC)hagwomanDon't treat your characters like your spouse - even though actually I am more worried about her poor spouse now, then ever before ....
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 06:57 pm (UTC)And yet, at the same time, it totally explains Jon.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:16 pm (UTC)God I so don't want this woman's fantasies...
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:00 pm (UTC)He comes to me as if his name sake conjured him. I can almost feel his arms, how tall he is, how solid, how strangely real
Laurell, darling, knowing your characters is one thing. Being able to "almost feel how solid" they are is probably some kind of mental illness.
In the end it's that I know how it feels to have Frost's arms wrapped around me from behind
...as he throttles you and begs to be moved to a universe far, far away.
I am not causal with my characters
One can only hope she's not casual either. But one doubts it.
Oh Laurell. I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:03 pm (UTC)*dies laughing*
I...SO need to make that into an icon.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 07:55 pm (UTC)I knew it! I knew it! I knew she had no fucking idea where she's going, with ANY of the books. -_-;;
People in the Amazon reviews for Danse Macabre (the positive ones) are trying to reassure themselves that Laurell "has a plan", "knows where the story's going", and eventually Anita Blake will become more plot and less porn. This recent blog entry just proves it---NOT SO, SUCKAS. Be prepared for lots, lots, and lots of pointless driveling porn.
-_-;;
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:43 pm (UTC)And then? Then I read the first chapters of Micah and Danse Macabre online, witnessed the Ronnicide, and admitted to myself that I'd been living a lie.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 09:14 pm (UTC)Then out came CS, cue my outrage and horror and the want of quitting. I got through ID by telling myself it was just badfic and an exercise in parody - which is true. Trying to read it for the plot is a bad, bad idea. Reading it for the badness? *thumbs up* Awesome.
I tried doing the same with DM, but gads. I think it takes a special kind of talent just to try and read more than two chapters at a time, which I sadly do not possess.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 09:40 pm (UTC)And... yeah. Yeah. I actually enjoyed CS, when I mentally erased the sex. There was shadows of a plot! Some detective stuff! Violence! But I almost threw down the store's copy of the book when I got to the bit when she was inside the SWAT van and mentioned that her curly hair was down to her ass, now.
I have friends with real, honest-to-god curls like how Laurell is constantly screaming that Anita has? And the length of her hair actually shortens when it's dry. So when wet, her hair may be well down into her shoulderblades, and when dry, it'll go back up to just below her shoulders.
Which would make Anita's hair now... oh, what. When wet, halfway down her thighs?
And then I went back to mentally subverting my new knowledge, and tried madly to focus on the bloody blood blood.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-13 12:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-13 04:34 pm (UTC)Maybe if I had ChiaPet hair, but since I don't...
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:56 pm (UTC)congrats on finishing the fic! I think with that blog entry...somebody needs to let the bitch out and put batty in a mental ward.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 09:08 pm (UTC)I've learned to run the cursor under the line I'm trying to read so I don't lose my place in the Giant Slab and have to start over. Course, by the time I'm roughly a paragraph from the end, my eyes glaze over and I need to reboot.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:35 pm (UTC)I was at a bookstore on Thirsday looking for some brain candy, and I was almost tempted to buy one of the Merry books. I like Merry Gentry more than I like the Twat of Doom, not that that's saying much. I do think the Merry Gentry books have potential to be awesome and I can't express how irritating it is that a better author didn't think of this. Damn you LKH, why do you suck so much?
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:52 pm (UTC)I miss him. *sniffle*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 09:03 pm (UTC)Ditto with Doyle. Grr, badass supar leet assassin Doyle = automatic hot and interesting. Now? FEH. I'll pretend that this is a homunculus and the Real Doyle is off at the same resort Edward is holidaying at, and flirting with waitresses.
I think I'm at the point where I'm just mentally pencilling in what I want to read rather than looking at the words that LKH has written.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:36 pm (UTC)I know my characters the way you know your best friends, and in some cases your spouses How pretentious! I know my best friends a whole lot better than she knows Frost, Micah, Jean-Claude, or any other cheesy character she's written. Because they're *real*. Excellent flog as usual :)
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 08:54 pm (UTC)For all I know, the strangers on the internet are just as real as her characters. But I have the saved IM conversations to prove that the internets exists!
I just...I have to choke and sputter at the whole, "They're not real until I figure out how they smile." deal. Just...WTF??? SMILING: Requires muscles to move, lips to curl up, eyes crinkle. THERE. ANYONE. CAN. DO. EEET. Including Arnold Schwarzenegger.
GAH, characters deserve more than a toothy grin and some brain-molesting.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-13 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-13 04:31 pm (UTC)*calls the men in white coats* READY A STRAIGHT JACKET, STAT.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-14 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-13 12:33 am (UTC)Also - LKH, honey? You are causal to your characters, inasmuch as you caused them to exist on paper.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-14 12:32 am (UTC)*shoves Frost behind her and death glares the Cottage Cheese woman.*
*snarls*
*pulls weapon*
*aims*
*pulls trigger*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-14 05:05 am (UTC)She's complaining about being distracted by other books while still having to write Anita's. But just in this post that you flogged she's all 'oh Frost. Touch me. Freezer burn baby.. oh yeah, that's the stuff'
*sighs*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-14 07:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-15 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-16 04:01 am (UTC)I just... Get AWAY FROM FROST, woman. You made him a whiny prat, but he was cool. And now you're icking him up. Just like you unmanned Doyle.
I actually know less about what will happen in book six than I ever have with a Merry book.
What?! You said you had a plan! A plot! You knew where you were going!! I know you said so. There was a finite number of books. A plot-arc. Well, as plotty as MG gets... And now you say this?
I feel nauseous. Excuse me, I'm going to that tropical island resort that the Real MG Men (and the Real AB cast) have retired to. Sigh.