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Nov. 19th, 2006 09:47 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
tiamet.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
lkh_lashoutsBook rant! And surprise surprise not a LKH book! But she is to blame for most of it so I decided to post it here (as well as my own LJ) sorry if that is wrong. Full of spoilers and frothing at the mouth!
Mona Lisa Awakening by Sunny (no last name. Very Cher like yet odd in a book author). Amazon told me I would love it, because I like Patricia Briggs and since I LOVE what she has done with shape shifters I checked it out. I read the summery and it sounded interesting so I called my bookstore and had it put on hold. Anyways, I picked it up and on the cover it says "Fans of Laurell K. Hamilton will love Sunny and Mona Lisa Awakening." I almost put it back. Then I thought maybe they meant early LKH not Porn!LKH so I bought it. Big mistake...The main character was having sex with a man she just met by page 20! Also the author dedicated the book to LKH and Anne Bishop because they inspired her... which brings me to my main bitch about the book. This book is as if someone had taken Anne Bishop's Black Jewels series and given it the LKH twist... mostly the Merry Gentry twist not so much the Anita Blake twist, but there was a tad bit of Anita in there as well. Okay so the main character is a woman who always knew she was different, but didn't know why (she was found on a church steps as a baby). She can heal people and mind-warp them. So she's a ER nurse and a BEAUTIFUL man comes in injured and she discoverers that he is part of a race of shape shifters from the moon. And she is part Moon person. And she's a very powerful Queen (Black Jewels). In their race powerful woman are called Queens (Black Jewels) and they have a large harem of men that protect them (Merry Gentry) and are compiled to protect them above all else even if the Queen hurts them or is cruel (Black Jewels and Merry). They are also suppose to have large amounts of sex with them (Merry) and cannot control themselves (Anita Black). And did I mention that they are extraordinarily beautiful with shiny long hair and giant penises (LKH)? So of course after she discoverers what she is she, Mona Lisa (that's her name), instantly becomes the most powerful and most desired of the Queens (Merry and Anita). Oh she is also the daughter of a powerful Queen who didn't want a Mixed Blood baby (it's as if the Queen from Merry was her mother instead of her Aunt) and comes very close to killing her. And there is a High Prince of Hell demon (Black Jewels) who of course falls madly in love with her (everything LKH has ever done). And of course all the woman HATE her (LKH again). She finds out that she was chosen by the Moon Goddess to be a big wig and has special powers that the others don't have (Merry). So she gets the guy from the first part (Mr Sex on Page 20-29 guy) and then she gets another guy who she saves from the evil Queen (Black Jewel and Merry) but then she has lots of guilt about wanting to have sex with both of them (Anita), but in their culture it is normal (Merry and Black Jewels) because of the low fertility rate ( Merry) and the men don't mind and actually expect it (Merry). And other stuff, but that is the main parts. AND IT PISSES ME OFF! 1.) that LKH is ruining authors that have potential (cause even if it was stolen crap it was well written crap) and 2.) that this person STOLE the whole plot and then had the nerve to name the two authors as her inspiration and then she got it published! Grrrr! Why have I been bothering to try and write original well thought out fiction? Why haven't I just stolen the plot from another author and then porn it up? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
*deep breath*
*enters zen-like state*
Ad I had to share with ya'll just in case your Amazon tries to get you to get it too. So thank you for reading my slighty off-topic rant.
Mona Lisa Awakening by Sunny (no last name. Very Cher like yet odd in a book author). Amazon told me I would love it, because I like Patricia Briggs and since I LOVE what she has done with shape shifters I checked it out. I read the summery and it sounded interesting so I called my bookstore and had it put on hold. Anyways, I picked it up and on the cover it says "Fans of Laurell K. Hamilton will love Sunny and Mona Lisa Awakening." I almost put it back. Then I thought maybe they meant early LKH not Porn!LKH so I bought it. Big mistake...The main character was having sex with a man she just met by page 20! Also the author dedicated the book to LKH and Anne Bishop because they inspired her... which brings me to my main bitch about the book. This book is as if someone had taken Anne Bishop's Black Jewels series and given it the LKH twist... mostly the Merry Gentry twist not so much the Anita Blake twist, but there was a tad bit of Anita in there as well. Okay so the main character is a woman who always knew she was different, but didn't know why (she was found on a church steps as a baby). She can heal people and mind-warp them. So she's a ER nurse and a BEAUTIFUL man comes in injured and she discoverers that he is part of a race of shape shifters from the moon. And she is part Moon person. And she's a very powerful Queen (Black Jewels). In their race powerful woman are called Queens (Black Jewels) and they have a large harem of men that protect them (Merry Gentry) and are compiled to protect them above all else even if the Queen hurts them or is cruel (Black Jewels and Merry). They are also suppose to have large amounts of sex with them (Merry) and cannot control themselves (Anita Black). And did I mention that they are extraordinarily beautiful with shiny long hair and giant penises (LKH)? So of course after she discoverers what she is she, Mona Lisa (that's her name), instantly becomes the most powerful and most desired of the Queens (Merry and Anita). Oh she is also the daughter of a powerful Queen who didn't want a Mixed Blood baby (it's as if the Queen from Merry was her mother instead of her Aunt) and comes very close to killing her. And there is a High Prince of Hell demon (Black Jewels) who of course falls madly in love with her (everything LKH has ever done). And of course all the woman HATE her (LKH again). She finds out that she was chosen by the Moon Goddess to be a big wig and has special powers that the others don't have (Merry). So she gets the guy from the first part (Mr Sex on Page 20-29 guy) and then she gets another guy who she saves from the evil Queen (Black Jewel and Merry) but then she has lots of guilt about wanting to have sex with both of them (Anita), but in their culture it is normal (Merry and Black Jewels) because of the low fertility rate ( Merry) and the men don't mind and actually expect it (Merry). And other stuff, but that is the main parts. AND IT PISSES ME OFF! 1.) that LKH is ruining authors that have potential (cause even if it was stolen crap it was well written crap) and 2.) that this person STOLE the whole plot and then had the nerve to name the two authors as her inspiration and then she got it published! Grrrr! Why have I been bothering to try and write original well thought out fiction? Why haven't I just stolen the plot from another author and then porn it up? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
*deep breath*
*enters zen-like state*
Ad I had to share with ya'll just in case your Amazon tries to get you to get it too. So thank you for reading my slighty off-topic rant.
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Date: 2006-11-20 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 04:21 am (UTC)And I too saw Amazon reccomemding Mona Lisa (You forgot the part where the queens are all called 'Mona' as their title) in Urban Fantasy. But just reading the reviews and the summary made me go 'WTFAlienBBQ?!'
no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 04:48 am (UTC)I should have read the reviews. But the summary sounded so "out there" that I had to give it a chance. And I think I paid for it.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-21 04:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 08:09 am (UTC)Oh, and, uh....stupid author. But not surprising. It brings to mind Stephen King's "milk in the fridge" metaphor.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-21 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-23 12:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-23 12:20 am (UTC)(I guess the author snagged the barely-there sex scenes from Anne Bishop, too. We're not gonna talk about Dreams Made Flesh--I'm happy pretending that book didn't exist.)
no subject
Date: 2006-11-23 01:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-05 02:37 pm (UTC)I clicked on the link, and I see what you mean about the ever so pretty cover.
Then I made the mistake of searching inside, just to see if it really was all that bad. I now wish I could gouge my eyes out and wipe my brain of what I've just seen. I'm afraid that I am going to share my pain with the below quote, which is the first paragraph of the damn book.
"Sickness and death was in the air - women crying, men cursing, unwashed bodies. The stink of suffering and anguish. It was a dwelling I'd deliberately chosen and placed myself within. A dwelling of desperate need that lured me to its bosom with the stench of fear and pain."
I could go on about sentence fragments, butchered grammar and over-flowery prose, but I need to go and wash my brain out.