There are no words...

[celestinac.livejournal.com]

FYI: The first three chapters of Danse Macabre are up on LKH's site.

::weeps::

Comments

[shalanar.livejournal.com]

It's truly terrible....I just re-read the series (well, the good books at least)....it's so sad just how bad the series has gotten, when in the beginning, it was really good.

Hamster solidarity and icon love!

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

OMG YOUR HAMSTER LOOKS JUST LIKE MY HAMSTER!

...Yeah, I got nothin'.

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool! I was in the mood for badfic today! Will have to read later though. Thanks for the link.

[tsula.livejournal.com]

A run-on sentence and misspelling in the first paragraph, I mean, sentence.

BRILLIANT START!

[harpergrey.livejournal.com]

I really tried to read it -- I really did! I think I maybe made it the equivalent of two or three pages in before my brain refused to process anymore. Maybe I'll try again later... *cringes* (So awful, gods, so very awful...)

[putana.livejournal.com]

Personally, and I am only two chapters in. I think the Anita/Ronnie thing is LKH/Us. Ronnie is all bitchy about Anita's behaviour and "jealous" of the men. I think it is all just LKH trying to reply to us.

Bloody horrible though. I am sick of Anita's/LKH's problems.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, I bet you're right. Ronnie's mentioned practically everything that the readers have complained about (the multiple boyfriends and the random sleeping around; she even insinuates that Anita's a whore), and instead of Anita considering hey, maybe she's right, Ronnie's portrayed as being jealous of Anita's life. Anita mentions that she and Ronnie have talked a lot less lately, and puts all the blame squarely on Ronnie's "jealousy" and "issues", and emphasises the latter to the point where even Nathaniel recommends Ronnie seek therapy! If that isn't LKH covertly bitching about how we're all just jealous nutcases, I don't know what is.

[putana.livejournal.com]

The more I think on it, and after reading your take on it, I think it is right. Personally, right up until Ronnie breaks down and wimpers I was thinking, "go Ronnie, go!"

[pith]

It's scary how transparent LKH is becoming. I just got the Spring 2004 newsletter about a week ago, and there are at least 3 instances of schoolyard-like taunts: "hate to break it to you, but those Internet rumours are wrong", etc.

I love how she thinks she's taking the "high road", and then ends up looking like a whiny teenager.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It just makes me smile and give out the sage advice of: "Remember, kids, it's down - not across."

She really should get an LJ like all the other emo kinds.

[frabjously.livejournal.com]

Ronnie: "Anita, that's the tenth time you've told me that Nathaniel smells like vanilla... I really understand now."
Anita: "What???!!! How do you know how Nathaniel smells?! I'm the author protagonist, it's from my POV so I can do whatever I want. Oh diety!"
Ronnie: "And 'diety' isn't actually..."
Anita: "You're jealous!"
Ronnie: *backs away*

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

That's *exactly* what I thought when I first read the summarized version of those chapters someone posted a little while back. I just hate how she made Ronnie out to be "jealous"; she should be a little more subtle with her (anti?)fan-bashing, especially when it's going to be published.

[nanale.livejournal.com]

I thought the same, she managed it to kill one of the last female and strong characters. Ronnie having the hots for Nathaniel is beyond believe, he's a mental child and she's a independand woman with a more or less stable relationship.
At least our solicitations for threaphy for Nathaniel were heared, but thath's all.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

...Am I a bad anti-fan for being morbidly curious in a train-wreck-y way and still wanting to read the rest of the book?

Also, is it me, or is the first chapter almost EXACTLY THE SAME as the opening for Narcissus in Chains, down to the wording?

This does not bode well. Not at all.

[tsula.livejournal.com]

-Ronnie on moral high horse over Anita's sex life *check!*
-Anita getting huffy and all "How DARE you judge me?!?" *check!*
-huge assed dining room table being shrunk back down to cozy 4 seater *check!*
-Anita still being to Neanderthalic to work her French press *check!*
-no boys at home, for the time being... *check!*
-atrocious grammar and spelling (whole WORDS missing this time, fucking sweet!) *double check!*
-Ronnie losing all backbone and cowing out. *check!*
-Anita getting rushed off to madness and mayhem, woefully misdressed for the occaision. *check!*
-Anita bitching about her hair. *check*

Just grab hold of your ankles now, and pray LKH uses lubricant with this piece of shit in the makes. And I don't mean liquid soap.

I think with this book, I'll set the daunting task of snarking out passages of it. Think MST3K, only with bad literature. And I use that term very loosely. I could take that "loosely" comment further, but I won't.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It's a daunting task, but someone has to do it. I know I'll be tackling the monstrosity when it's released. However, I probably don't have the patience to wait for the paperback to be released (uhh.. Incubus Dreams isn't in paperback yet. Seduced By Moonlight only just got released as a pb) but I know I'll be reading on behalf of at least five people.

It should be interesting to see what you do with the thing. We can compare notes!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Holy. Crap.

I can't believe I just read that.

Seriously.

OOC much? No, really. What's with Ronnie suddenly jealous of teh s3xx0r? And Nathaniel telling her off? Dude - NATHANIEL!

And if people start screaming that it's character development, I want to bap them. You first have to have a character before you can have development, and I don't consider Nathaniel a character. He's just a description that spouts his lines like a good little puppet. He had more personality when he was a broken thing, before Anita set about trying to fix the universe.

AND WHAT'S WITH MICAH HAVING A VASECTOMY?!?! Dude - lycanthropes can regrow entire limbs - a couple of testicular tubes are going to be nothing.

I'm gonna have so much fun with this book. Really.

I just need to hold my "breathe" until it's released.

[nanale.livejournal.com]

AND WHAT'S WITH MICAH HAVING A VASECTOMY?!?! Dude - lycanthropes can regrow entire limbs - a couple of testicular tubes are going to be nothing.

You are right about the use of a vasectomy for a wereanything, but it's an old mistake:

Page 158, NiC ( Jove paperback edition, 2002)
[...]
"Please, Micah. I'm not on birth control." A clear thought at last.
He softly bit at the back of my neck. "I had myself fixed two years ago. You are safe with me, Anita."
[...]

I think, he went to one of the hospitals run by wereanimals, so they could have used silver knifes to cut through the tubes. But that would only have slowed the healing process down.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

I never realized that, you're right! Someone should write to LKH about this one... : P She'd probably make some lame-ass excuse on the spot, though, or else she would've already explained this by now.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

She freely admits to not keeping character cards or notes to keep up with what she's already established, so she just seems to break the mythology of her universe to fit in with whatever she wants to do.

So she probably doesn't even realise that this thing's been established.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised more people haven't started ranting about it.

I'm aware that it goes back to NiC, but honestly - that, and the ensuing books have so many contradictions and fuck-ups in them, it's tough to keep track of it all.

I'm also pissed at Micah's description as "Exactly my height" - which is five-three, and "built like a swimmer" - have you ever seen short swimmers? They're walking triangles.

And don't get me started on the "deal" to have Micah's hair stay long.

In short: Micah pisses me off on every level.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

You know what? You're just a mean poopy-head, that's what. A polished author like LKH doesn't need to listen to the mean-spirited likes of you!

..Haha. And that's our counter argument. Maybe someone should bring this up in the Anita Blake community (forgot what it's called, I never visit it). That would be interesting.

[tsula.livejournal.com]

ah, but they and their "mature" fanbase, bans us who dare to be in their community AND this one.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Are you serious? Have a lot of people gotten this ban as well?

Wow...that's pretty bogus. No witty retort there (for now).

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I probably have in anita_blake_fan - and I'm a moderator. I know at one point, I made a post that was just, "You know, my friend was right - Micah really IS just Anita's cabana-boy." and I can tell you, when I get back to NiC, Micah is going to get one HELL of a beating.

anitablakefans on the other hand...I can't bring myself to look at the layout, let alone join up and dare to express a view. But the snit that caused that community to be born was an amusing one.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Ah, I wish I could've been there at the time to have enjoyed the drama...

And looking at both communities made me realize how grateful I am for this one. Although the one you moderate seems to be a ton more mature, I'm still a tad intolerant of those who refuse to open their eyes towards a matter regardless of the reasons and information displayed before them concerning it. I see you still have a few "well if you don't like it don't read it!!" fans abroad. I applaud your well-mannered patience, because I'm sure I'd have a snark-fest over there if it were me...

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I'm willing to overlook that so long as we don't get any fully-fledged flame wars happening. The snark-fests still happen, but i'm kinda proud that people are starting to state reasons for their opinions.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Huzzah! I can't wait for the pro-fans' reactions to the entirety of Danse Macabre ('cause this one's gonna be the one that cuts the thread for sure), much rather when you "take one for the team" and write a chapter-by-chapter summary of it. It's sad that that's the only thing about the new book that I'm anticipating.

Btw, are you going to be doing that for the new Micah book, as well?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Depends on if it's released here.

I know that the Cravings and Bite anthologies are on the LKH shelf (yeah, she's got a whole shelf to herself) in the store, but...I can't really bring myself to buy them solely for the LKH stories. I've been told that the rest of the tales in the volume are worth reading but...

...I have a big enough backlog of books I should be reading, but don't have the brain capacity for right now. I don't need to add to it. Specially now since I got a new vampire anthology just last week, along with the third Kim Harrison novel.

Long story short - depends on if it's released and if I can A) Afford it and B) have time to read it.

The likelihood is I'll get around to it, but not for a while.

[infidelkast.livejournal.com]

Ah, sounds reasonable. What would you say if I could find it on BitTorrent for download? XD I should really look into those Kim Harrison novels...

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Call me old fashioned, but I like to have my hands on a book. I like the feel of paper and the whole book smell.

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

I just need to hold my "breathe" until it's released.

Ahahaha! I officially want to marry you.

"Broken thing"..."Trapped thing" etc. Another pet peeve. Ugh.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

"Rolling like candy over the tongue." annoys me.

Attention, paging other similies. All available similies please make your way to the word processor. "Trapped thing" simile non-responsive, status: Critical...

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

So if Ronnie is us...hmm...that means that we are jealous, spiteful, cowardly hypocritical whores! (Wow, and I just thought that I was a fan tired of crap writing.) This will be the first book that I do not buy. I'll read dwg's take on any new books and save myself the agony.

[gweneth-syeira.livejournal.com]

Wow. I really shouldn't try to read things when I've been up for barely two hours and trying to stay awake at work.

I tried to read chapter 1 and I didn't make it through. I'll attempt it again tonight.

And I wish LKH would make up her mind if a vampire is or isn't fertile. Then agian, I wish she'd make up her mind on a lot of things.

[d3athw1sh.livejournal.com]

I can't remember the book, but I do remember Anita found out that vampires could impregnant someone if they are in a warm enviornment like a hot tub. But that was only once, and they only thing I can recall from the book is the vampire that got the girl pregnant was killed and Tammy was introduced.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I have no idea. Basic high school biology, man. Sperm can survive for three days outside the body, and after death. After that, no more sugar to burn and therefore zero motility, therefore sterile.

Maybe it's instant-sperm. Just add hot water and stir vigorously.

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

Okay, finally read it. That was truly, utterly awful. Ronnie is JUS JELLUS! Wah. And what, Anita's going to get YET ANOTHER person to fuck? God, give me a break. And Graham. *bangs head on desk*

She uses "breathe" when it should be "breath" and "breath" when it should be "breathe". Like, without fail.

And A. R. D. E. U. R. For Godssakes! If you're going to use a word that much you should know how to spell it! Fuck, I don't have any background in French at all, and I still know how to spell the bloody thing.

[junipersgame.livejournal.com]

Your icon SLAYS me. Can I steal? =D

[celestinac.livejournal.com]

LOL! It is an awesome icon, isn't it? Makes me smile every time I use it. :o)

I'm not sure who made it. I flinched it a looong while back from a fandom_wank HP/Cassie Claire drama post. If you want to use it make sure to note that you're not sure who to give credit to.

[junipersgame.livejournal.com]

Yay! *steals*