(no subject)

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

http://www.likesbooks.com/lkh.html

All about Romance is a wonderful site. While checking out new reviews this morning I came across this interview. I just skimmed it, but something at the end scared me very much badly.

And finally on a completely frivolous off-track note: where do you get the inspiration for Jean-Claude's fashion choices?

I design the clothes myself with some help from costume books on historical clothing. I created Jean-Claude's clothing because I was frustrated by the lack of beautiful, sexy clothing for me.

So, it seems she wants to wear really crappy clothes. Has she tried plus size stores? Really, they make plus size sexy clothes. I've seen them. I personally wouldn't wear them, but I know they exsist.

Comments

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

I'd like for you to consider what she deems to be 'sexy' and 'beautiful', and then I can understand her frustrations as items like that are indeed hard to find outside of online BDSM stores in the deepest, darkest part of the internet.

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

True. I fear she's one of those people who buy their sex toys from that animal dildo site.

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

If Micah's brother is called Thor I will cry.

[thekiwiwhoflew.livejournal.com]

It's only made worse by the fact that when that was posted to somethingawful, someone made sure to give us the details on how it's used. AJHfkldsj.

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's the one. I think it's for zoophiles who aren't ready to take the plunge into real beastiality.
Excuse me, I have to go gargle with bleach now.

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

You clicked, so we don't have to :D

[thesaneminority.livejournal.com]

This (http://www.zoofur.com/tent.html) amuses me far more than it really should.

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

... so there IS such a thing as an erotic Cthullu fantasy.

[crevette.livejournal.com]

Some things can never be unseen.

::sporks eyes::

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

Holy shit on a stick is that WRONG. And what's worse are the ones modeled after real wolves. And tigers. AND THE SEAL.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

My husband used to make this stuff. Like, professionally. As in people will pay stupid amounts of money for it. STUPID MONEY.

As for me? I just pointed and laughed. Lots. Hard.

[frabjously.livejournal.com]

*speechless*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

But...but...JC's a pair of shoulderpads and some sparkly eyeshadow away from being Adam Ant!

And while I still think glam pirates are cool (how is piracy in any form not cool?!?), just...the 80s were a traumatic decade for everyone involved. Nobody needs to relive the horror in PTSD flashbacks thanks to this woman.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Well, it can't really get too much gayer than the original. G&S did a real bang-up job with the material.

But oh, JC is so Frederic and Asher can be the Pirate King. MUAH!

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

*dies* that is awesome. And I am now reading the entire page to the tune of Modern Major General. ACK. My brain is fried by JC's fashion sense.

I really do use the term 'fashion sense' a bit too loosely. I'd never thought of them as pirates before, but it would work. Then again, if you just tease JC's hair a bit he can pose as Jareth the Goblin King's long-lost brother...

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Aww..they weren't THAT bad, and nor was Adam Ant. Still...JC could use with a bit of updating on the look.

Maybe go for that shot of lace and ruffle, only with a more modern suit? Something EXPENSIVE, European...Or maybe ditch the frilly, and go for a REALLY great tie? Hmm...

Ok, ok...so frilly might work for JC there. Just...it needs to be done BETTER.

-Dira-

[leggomylegolas.livejournal.com]

Is it just Jean-Claude's clothes that she wants to wear, or all the hideous outfits?

I guess it doesn't matter, because either way I'm suddenly picturing her in gold mesh hotpants and a shirt "made of nothing more than a few strips of leather". PLEASE SOMEONE KILL ME NOW.

[foxfire74.livejournal.com]

Erm, in LKH's dubious defense, I figured this was a typo and it was supposed to be "beautiful, sexy clothing for meN". I could be wrong, but it makes more sense when taken with the rest of the sentence.

But as for designing the clothes herself...that explains so, so much that I'd really rather not have explained.

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

That would make sense. It's a common complaint. However, having dealt with male customers, I find them even more difficult than your average bridezilla!

[missamii.livejournal.com]

That is totally a brain image I didn't need. I imagine since badly written orgies are becoming routine for her, she'll need a gimmick. Seeing as Anita is the only person allowed to act like they has some cojones any more becoming a futanari girl seems to be the next naturally step for her. ::Shudder::

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

I don't know why people still think that if you are less than 5'4 and over a size 16 you cannot find any nice clothes. I wouldn't be making a living if it wasn't for all of the lovely petite, curvy ladies in the UK who like Victoriana, I really wouldn't.

She really must be completely technophobic if she can't use Google, hell, I can give her a list of websites where everything is catered for the petite and the curvy. Some of them would be in the UK, but there are a lot of great companies in the US too.

As to men, well, I could give you an equivalent list for men, and all of it suitable for stocky men too :)

I get more and more annoyed with the 'oh, everything for big sizes is horrible' attitude every single day. Use Google. Use Ebay. Good grief, there really isn't any excuse for her bad wardrobe, she must be earning enough for some nice custom designed stuff by now!

[cherith.livejournal.com]

I think like most everything else, it's not that the stuff isn't out there, it's that she doesn't want to admit that it's out there. Like some other people I know, LKH seems to thrive on the drama and martyrdom of 'woe is me there's nothing I can do about this seemingly simple problem (therefore it is not simple) and I must cry' & 'normal people just don't understand how hard it is to be me'.

Seriously yes, there are certain types of clothes that might be work to find for a certain sized woman - however there is a plethora of decent clothes for all sizes, if you know how and where to look. As I said the problem is not that they don't exist, it's that if she admits they exist she no longer has something to complain about.

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see what you're getting at! Unfortunately, I have a friend who is exactly like this - she is at her happiest when complaining. :/

It must be nice to be in the position that you have to find imaginary problems about which to complain!

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

I wonder what would happen if she were faced with a real problem. With all of her bitching about small stuff, I don't think I'd be any more compassionate. It would just end up being another thing she's complaining about.

And on a similar note, how do you think she'd handle it if she realized that her sales were plummeting? (To be fair, the Negative Reader entry could have been counted as a reaction...)

[prettyclever.livejournal.com]

OMG IT'S YOU! I KNOW YOU!

I was totally reading this comment going "zomg so this one's a smartie!' but then... I know you! So I already knew you were a smartie. That comment was insightful, love. Well-played.

[cherith.livejournal.com]

Haha! Thanks, I try to be smart on occassion. :)

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

I once had a professor who is a large woman. I'm not sure how tall she is, but can't be over 5'3 as I'm 5'1 and could look her in the eye. She wears wonderful clothes. Of course she's a poet and has a flair for the dramatic, but her clothes were just wonderful. I asked her once where she got her clothes. She said she got a lot of them from a woman on ebay who specialized in plus size clothing or through mail order. My regret is that I am not rich enough to afford awesome clothes like these. I am forced to pick through whatever I can find at wal-mart.

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

Oh, Laurell has more than enough flair for the dramatic...

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

This is a partial list. If you are looking for particular stuff (like accessories, hats, hair falls, you name it!) then say, and I will dig through my linkage :) Bear in mind I fashion edit for a friend's magazine, and get new links on an almost daily basis!

Clothing Links (UK)

http://www.foreverinblack.com (this is my company :) )
http://www.gothichaven.com (this is my friend Gabi’s company)
http://www.wisteria.co.uk
http://www.fairygothmother.co.uk (expensive, but stunning stuff, some plus sizes)
http://www.dracinabox.co.uk (plus sized section)
http://www.thedarkangel.co.uk (charges extra for large sizes, but nice stuff)
http://www.nightshade-london.com (look at their ebay shop, and drool)
http://www.deviantclothing.co.uk (lovely people - be warned, has bondage restraints etc.)
http://www.lestat-couture.co.uk (Kathryn has some beautiful things in her ebay shop, is highly professional, and lovely!)
http://www.supernal-clothing.co.uk (Unusual gothic clothing for men, Adam makes some fantastic pieces)
http://www.flitterbat.co.uk (period reproductions, with an emphasis on Regency period, gorgeous jewellery)
http://www.wickedlady.org (Olivia Barnard-Firth makes items you WILL sell your soul for. I have one of her parasols and it is the object of envy whereever I go. Her friend, the Gainsborough Lady, does plus sizes and FABULOUS hats too)
http://www.heresy-clothing.co.uk (Emma makes lovely corsets and has a good range of stuff in all kinds of sizes)
http://www.pimp-clothing.co.uk (fun stuff, good size range again)
http://www.misfitzpvc.com/ (long standing company with an excellent range of PVC wear in many sizes, for men and women)
http://www.thefederation.co.uk/Sizes.html (MOAR PVC. And rubber. To a UK size 24!)


I can't find Kate's Clothing on my list at the moment, but you can google her/ find her on ebay really easily. Really nice designs in PVC etc.


US
http://www.kambriel.com (emphasis on 1920s and Gorey style fashions, beautiful photography and work)
http://www.houseofvamp.com (fun items, beautifully made)
http://www.dollflesh.com (one offs and reproductions, beautifully made and macabre)

International

http://www.galleryserpentine.com (warning: their corsetry is okay for ‘entry level’, but not for plus sizes)

I am part of an international community of corsetieres, so I keep this as a separate list. If you want any of those, let me know :)

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

ooh, clothing link recs! I'd love the list too. I'm not exactly curvy, but I'm in that shady gray area where I have to settle for saying 'athletic' but I'm not exactly that either. But I am 5'2. And it's nice to find new sources for awesome stuff suited for petite girls.

I don't know what LKH is on when it comes to her clothes. It is NOT expensive or very difficult to find a seamstress who can alter store-bought clothes. And, of course, there's E-Bay, Google, fashion design students who are really talented and reasonably priced who can friggin' design you anything you might want.

It might be difficult to find clothing, but it's never impossible. You try stuff on, you learn what works on you, and you play with that. And when all else fails, you watch What Not To Wear.

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

^ See above :)

It's the short version of my 'list', if you need any more, let me know what and I will have a dig through my massive 'favourites' folder :D Nearly every site up there will custom make for petite girls.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Considering that what was SO in in NY a couple years back was ALL about the frills ala JC (Well, updated a bit, but lots of lace, and ruffles on blouses, and was ALL over Lane Bryant, and should be hitting St Louis and the rest of the midwest right about now? I think that yet again, she doth complain too much.

They STILL have some pretty fluffy things here, too. They START at size 16, and it's not like you can't get up to 18, or even 24 elsewhere, including some 'normal' stores.

-Dira-

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

as always, she misses the point. Dressing for your size and age is what looks sexy. I've seen plus-size copies of designer gowns that were made for smaller women and they looked absolutely awful. However, when a gown or an outfit is designed with a larger woman in mind, the garment looks much sexier and more proportionate.

As it relates to AB, the outfits she has these Guilty Pleasures strippers in would make most patrons howl with laughter, as opposed to all hot and bothered. That Nathaniel get-up with the ass-less chaps had me in fits for at least 10 minutes.

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

Nobody looks good in ass-less chaps.
She should just get over her homophobia and ask some queens where they get clothes. I know some queens that look great.
You think if we forced her to watch Glen or Glenda her head would explode?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I'm willing to wager that our heroine has never set foot in a stripjoint before.

Which is kinda sad, just think of all the hands-on research you could do? "BRB honey, going to research!" *gets change for $50* "I'm having champaigne tonight!"

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

lmao @ LKH in the champagne room. Strippers charge for their *time* as well as the activities they'll be performing. They don't have the time to sit there while she has a 2 hour conversation outlining the rules of the encounter and making sure everyone is okay with it.

Stripper: Listen, this song is only 3 minutes long. Could i just give you a lap dance and be done with it?

LKH: No, sorry Peaches N' Cream. First I need to know who will be in the room, and what might happen if you touch me. We can't let the other patrons know what kind of power might develop. Maybe we should do a trial run first, with a less experienced dancer.

Peaches: *looks mournfully at the door* My goddamn shoes are killing me, and this bitch wants to have a heart-to-heart.

LKH: I've got five benjamins here that say I can use conversation to make it seem like this is a real relationship, rather than me paying you to drop it like it's hot on my lap.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

And let us not forget that Some Ignorant Mysogynistic Bigotted Man will mistaken her for a stripper and start making derogatory comments about how slutty she must be so she will then get all indignant and attempt to bitchily educate him on the errors of his ways! RAR!

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

Of course they're not accurate. They're more like the clothes real-life wannabe "vampyres" wear; knock-offs that "look like" period clothes. It's like being in a perpetual Ren-Faire without the shit and the skin lesions. There's people making the mint on sewing up simulations of lace and coats that wouldn't know historical accuracy if it bit them in the ass with some fake porcelain fangs.

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

Generally a lurker-- just had to say:

I hate to detract, but... might "me" have been a typo for "men"? Just a thought, and not much less horrifying either way. -_-

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

That has been discussed, but either way, the clothes suck.

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

Whoops, scrolled right past that comment, sorry.

And I definitely agree.