Blog Flog: End of the day wind down

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

It's been too long since I did one of these...and my snark-o-meter is on the uptick! Thought I would give it a crack. I could stand to sharpen my claws. ;)

(I apologize in advance if this isn't particularly funny...but ahh well. At least I tried.)

ETA: DOH! I forgot to add the link! Stupid me.

http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2007/04/end-of-day-wind-down.html

And LJ seems to be on crack...sorry if my HTML skillz fail me.





End of the day. Twelve pages on FROST; three pages on the comic script with Jon.

That means we're twelve pages closer to getting to read the trainwreck. And three pages on the comic! Whoo, such an accomplishment! You get a gold star!

Time to think about dinner. Time to wind down for the day.

Time to think about re-introducing that thing called a " plot" into your books, but oh, you know, that's not important.


It was a lovely weekend. I started the day feeling refreshed and ready to ride up that hill for another try at the dragon.


That poor dragon. Honestly,whatever did it do to you? I'm sure all it wants to do is burn villages, steal a some maidens, maybe even eat a few sheep, and to do it all in peace. Must you always traipse up that hill to beat the stuffing out of it? Dragons are awesome LKH, and you have no right to use them in one of your wanky analogies.

Now, the fight is over. I won today, but I took some hits. I'm tired.

Well, at least the dragon got some shots in before it went down. I think we should award it a medal. That brave dragon.

I didn't mean to do twelve pages on FROST. I kept thinking I'll just write until I get to this point. Just reintroduce the goblin twins; Ash and Holly. Just describe the red-caps. Just . . . well you see how it went.

Oh yes...we've seen where it went, all right. Straight to hell in several handbaskets, along with your sanity.

Sometimes I write the way I use to run, back when I jogged. I'd say, just to that stop sign and then I'll stop. But I didn't stop, because then I'd pick a new land mark. Run just until you get to that rose bush, then you can rest. Run just until you get to the end of that driveway, then you can rest. But I'd seldom actually let myself rest until I got back home.

Run, run until you find a plot...

Was that lying to myself?

Oh, now THIS is entirely too easy. Honey, you've been lying to yourself for YEARS. It's called self-delusion.


I mean, I know me. I knew I wasn't really stopping.

No, because you'll never stop torturing us with bad fairy porn. I can't even imagine the horror that The Harlequin will be, but I like to think that it may not even be as bad as DM.

...Of course, I've been wrong before. At least I can admit when I'm wrong, unlike a certain author we all know and (once) loved.

I guess it was just the best carrot I could come up with.

Yeah, you've been holding the Edward carrot out in front of us for HOW many books now? Three? Four? And when you finally deliver the goods, we find out you've assassinated his character.


I'm pretty good at dangling the carrot just out of reach,

That you are...and what a rotten, puny carrot it is. :p

but not so good at actually giving it to myself.

Oh, but you're good at giving everything else to yourself. Like say...you're so-called entitlement that you corrupt millions with your work, and that you CREATED the genre, even though people DID come before you.

Yeah, I'm pretty bad at rewarding myself.

...We got that.

Really good at work though.

So you say. Think you could work at creating a decent plot?

Comments

[catskin.livejournal.com]

If this woman bigs herself up anymore, she may well explode in a terrible shower of ego and bodily fluids.

*gag*

Seriously, we all work. We all have to work. Unlike many of us though, LKH gets to do work she enjoys (supposedly). Why does she constantly have to remind the world how wonderful she is for doing the gooddamned job she gets paid for?

[catskin.livejournal.com]

Of course. How negative of me to forget that she's elevated above the level of us mere mortals, as the woman who invented her genre.

*gouges eyes*

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

I'm confused I thought LKH had a final say on the comics and they were being serialized (was that what they called it?) by somebody else.

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

As a completely off-topic aside: the Oxford comma is confusing me. I was always taught to put a comma before the 'and' but I've got professors now who will actually grade off for that, or put annoying red circles every time I do it. Then there's other professors who think it belongs there. Which is it??!

[rozasharn.livejournal.com]

(puts on Ultimate Authority hat)

Commas separate items in a list. If your hats are red, green, blue, and yellow, that's four hats. If your hats are red, green, blue and yellow, that's three hats.

People get confused because of the 'and'. They think it counts as a separator. It doesn't; and *joins* two words to make them one list-item. In fact, it would even be correct to list separate items without the 'and'--we just say 'and' as an audible cue that this is the end of the list.

It will probably be better for your grades if you don't correct the professors who have it wrong.

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Oh, no, I won't correct them. I just wanted to know which to use when I'm doing non-college stuff. The Mass Communications department has begun a sort of 'back to basics' thing where they're all railing at us (in advanced courses) about using proper spelling, grammar, and communication tools; unfortunately each professor seems to be using their own personal grammar rule book and I think it's making us all worse instead of better.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

rozasharn sums up the reason for the Oxford comma (the one before the and) beautifully. Best of luck working with all those personal grammar rules. You could always use the gammar rules from the Chicago Manual of Style or MLA formatting guide to trump your Profs, I did so with mixed results (some backed down and others put their hackles up).

[artemis-rex.livejournal.com]

Interestingly enough, Associated Press style says to eliminate the comma before using and. I'm curious, do you have news writing? That may be why some professors mark it wrong and others don't.

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

I'm not a journalism major, so I don't have that one, but some of my professors go by that style book, while others prefer MLA or APA (I'm in a major that spans 3 departments and is sort of half-categorized as its own section). I'm just afraid that by the time they're through with the grammar hounding, I'll be using Hamilton-like punctuation and grammar. So I have to ask what the general consensus on such rules are in a more literary than media aspect.

It all depends...

[sap-girl.livejournal.com]

on which style rules you're following. MLA considers the comma and the end of the series optional; APA says to use it. Different concentrations use different style guides, which confused the heck out of me in grad school when I had to switch from MLA to APA!

Re: It all depends...

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

That's where I'm at- my major encompasses 3 departments, with many different ideas on how grammar and writing should be approached. Add in a foreign language and I'm generally lost.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I mean, I know me. I knew I wasn't really stopping.

OMG, did she just admit she knows she's raping molesting us with the bad porn? Can I admit it now, with tears in my eyes that LKH tried to get me to touch my pee-pee place? Can I show you on the doll?


Ok, so maybe I've reached a point beyond bitter. But I was really looking forward to never hearing from Edward again. I admit it. I wanted her to forget he existed. Instead, he's not coming back, shedding Ted like a jacket or some loose skin cells and hell for leather, piercing eyes and other people's guts all over the floor.

He's holding her hand and telling her he looooooves her.

My inner molested psychopathic child calls both molestation and cooties!

PS:

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

No offense to those of you who've survived sexual assault. I have too. I'm just really upset that LKH's final betrayal of a character I used to remind myself to be strong in the midst of all that shit, involves him becoming a victim too.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

That little killer bunny in your icon can totally be his replacement.

And when I read one of her blogs, I re-write the series in my head, and one of my favorite running fantasies is to have Sephiroth step in from the FFVII universe and firebomb St. Louis, turning it into a smoking crater. :p

*sighs happily*

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

That little killer bunny in your icon can totally be his replacement.

Seconded. Who else would like to see Bun-Bun go postal in the Anita-verse?

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Poor JC. He wouldn't last longer than 15 minutes. And then Bun-Bun would go for Anita and take over all her men, cause Minions who follow directions are always in short supply.

poor dragon

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I always wanted to do a short story where a dragon was busy minding her own business; raising baby dragons and counting her treasure, when an foul, evil knight in tarnished armor attempts to steal her babies and her treasure. The knight dies in the end of course.

Your snark reminded me of that. I have an image of LKH riding up the hill, welding a bad pen and killing the poor dragon with poor grammar. Poor dragon indeed.

Re: poor dragon

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll look for it next time I'm in the library

Re: poor dragon

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

You know, you should see the icons dwg made a little while back. I believe our very own Flo did the art, and dwg colored it in.

You can find them under the wank: the dragon tag. ;) They are most amusing.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

Re: poor dragon

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

E.E. Knight is doing a series completely from dragon pov. The first book is Dragon Champion (2005), the second is, Dragon Avenger (2006).

There are evil humans, there are baby dragons and the books tell the story of the dragons.

I really enjoyed seeing familiar myths played out through the dragon pov; the world's creation through dragon eyes, dragon family make up, etc. It's dramatic hero's quest.

(And they'd so eat LKH)

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

she really, really needs to stop with that stupid dragon metaphor. Writing a book isn't an epic battle of heroism and it doesn't require the author to have a plucky courage, steely resolve and a full suit of armor. Nor does it inspire others to take up their shields and battle on into the fray. It just makes her seem like a whiny fool who's intent on bastardizing the labors of Hercules.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

she really, really needs to stop with that stupid dragon metaphor.

Agreed. It's down right pathetic. :p

Writing a book isn't an epic battle of heroism and it doesn't require the author to have a plucky courage, steely resolve and a full suit of armor.

No, no, no sharkbytes, actually it DOES require pluck, courage, and steely resolve! We do not know of Laurell's struggles! We must cheer as she fights to triumph in the face of adversity! As we all must triumph in the adversity that is bad Pron

Laurell is a great hero! All must hail her labors! Go Laurell go! You slay that dragon, even if it is the size of a salamander!

But seriously...yeah, the dragon analogy is pretty damn ridiculous.

And OT, but your icon amuses me. *snerks*

"Author" indeed. XD

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

heee, thank you! the wonderful dwg made this. andrew airquotes make me very happy =)

[slayra.livejournal.com]

That icon is LOVE! *grins* Just wanted to say it... /off-topic. ^___^;;

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Or y'know, deal with doctors poking you and worried about your internal organs but not finding a cause and not wanting to officially label you with lupus. Deal with pain killers and days so bad you can barely get up and wanting to cry at thunderstorms because of how it makes you feel.

Yeah. If LKH said in her journal she was dealing with lupus or fibro or PSTD I'd be more sympathetic. But while she mentions her mother and her plane phobia and tech phobia - it doesn't sound at all debilitating.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

Or she could try dealing with the fun that is type 2 Diabetes, and having it so long that your pancreas looks like it might be giving out, and it may look like you need to go on insulin. And she could try waiting around for a surgery that is desperately needed so that you don't start going BLIND in the next decade. Or having your kidneys shut down. Or have your liver give out. Or losing your limbs.

Oh, and what about the possibility of looking forward to SPINAL surgery in the next five years because your hands go numb for no reason because of a as yet undiagnosed spinal problem, and it could be anything from a pinched nerve to the beginnings of spinal arthritis.

She should try having every medical test known to mankind so you can get approved for damn surgery. She should try dealing with a weight problem, AND sleep apnea. (For those of you that don't know, it's when you stop BREATHING in your sleep, and you wake up choking/gasping, because stomach fluid comes up, and corrodes the lining of your esophagus.) And you wind up needing a damn sleep machine. Oh, AND she should know the joys of being on seven different medications that without insurance, would cost THOUSANDS to cover out-of-pocket.


Note: This isn't by any means a sympathy post: I'm just saying that if Laurell had to deal with ANY of what WE did, then she'd have something to complain about. As is, she seems to be in pretty good health. And she is doing her damn DREAM job. I can't believe she has the nerve to wank out like this, when there are millions of people out there that have it FAR worse than she does.

And also, my sympathies on you having Fibro and Lupus. My grandmother passed away from Lupus, and for years she lived in a lot of pain.

She should stop bitching, and be grateful for all that she has. The woman practically has it made. Good health, great (up until now) literary career.

I wish she would walk a mile in someone else's shoes and see how good she really DOES have it.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

Hell I've met people who are very very sick and can STILL smile at the world. Who function everyday GRATEFUL for what they have.

I have too...I've met some really amazing people that leave me humbled, and teach me to appreciate the fact that overall, I'm still in pretty decent health, and that I have a chance of making out okay.


It just fries me to see someone with so much complain all the time.

You're not the only one. By God, does this woman ever bitch about anything adn everything. She's probably one of the most ungrateful bitches I have EVER come across. No compassion, no empathy whatsoever.

I might even venture to say that she's outright heartless.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I don't talk about my past, that is my childhood much. But one of the reasons I do bitch on this community is because a universe that helped take me away from that childhood has now become this odd mocking parody of I don't know what.

Y'know how she goes on about a fan attacking her at a signing? I've recently wondered if it was a rape or childhood abuse victim trying to tell LKH how much the new direction of the books disgust her and how can Laurell just whitewash rape like that. And LKH saw it as an attack.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

YOu are my new hero. I admire anyone who can go through what I can't. I seriously don't know what I'd do if I had Type 2 Diabetes. I hate needles. And all that other stuff you're going through, you're stronger then I am.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

Thanks...and I'm very sorry to hear you have Fibro and Lupus. I understand those are both very painful disorders to deal with.

You've got a lot of courage yourself. :)

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Is it odd that I think if she'd written a post about feeling lost after the divorce and not knowing what to do next because she'd grown up thinking marriage was forever - that I would have some more compassion for her? Especially if she could then admit that she knows her personal stuff is getting into her writing.

But that sort of admission isn't likely to happen at all. She can't even admit she talks about sex with her husband in her own blog thus encouraging people to ask pointed questions at public appearances.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

If LKH said in her journal she was dealing with lupus or fibro or PSTD I'd be more sympathetic

I have Fibromyalgia and am boarderline Lupus (my doctor has warned me it's only a matter of time. I'm an 8 on the scale, 9 and 10 means you have Lupus). Anyone who suffers from Fibro, Lupus, RA, or anything that impeeds one's life from day to day has my sympathies. Getting wigged out over flying, not as much.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I can appreciate getting wigged out over flying. There are times when heights absolutely throw me for a loop. (And wow, that was kind of ironic phrasing)

But in her job she has to get to places quickly so flying is something she was going to have to handle, or just take longer to get there by train if she preferred. And on top of it all, you can take a sleeping pill when you have to fly, go to sleep on the plane while it's on the ground and wake up on the plane while it's on the ground.

I don't get to sleep through the bad parts of my life and I'm sure you and others don't get to do that either.

(Also don't even talk to me about the scale. My big worry point this past year was my blood pressure. Now that it seems mostly contained I'll have to go back to them poking me to figure out why certain things seem lupus inclined sometimes, and then not at other times. And OMG how much blood do they need?! /end needle rant)

[slayra.livejournal.com]

LKH is just too self-centered. I mean I'd love it if my job was to be at home and write 12 pages for a book in a week and then say: "YAY, I am done!". I certainly wouldn't say "Woe-be-me, this is soooo hard! I just wrote 12 whole pages today, so my work for the week is over! Woe-be-me, that was sooooo hard!" *wipes sweat*

Still, I guess it's a subjective thing. I mean, I think I couldn't write 12 pages of fiction worth a damn in a week (essays and non-fiction are another matter), so I guess it might be hard. Then again, I am not a writer, so it should come easier to her. It sounds as if her work pains her... which is kind of odd. She is a writer by choice. Right?

But... I'd love to work at home and make my own schedules (besides having loads of money. I could live without the fame. *shivers*). *grins* Am I making any sense at all???