Blogflog: they really ARE out to get you...

[dwg.livejournal.com]

URL: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2007/06/were-number-two.html

LKH in bold, me not.

THE HARLEQUIN is number two on the New York Times List. Yay! And drat.

This time what kept us out of the number one slot was Khaled Hosseini A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS. Khaled Hosseini can join the ranks of Stephen King, Nora Roberts, and Janet Evanovich, in the writers that have kept me just out of the hardback number one spot.

mneiai and I had some amusement about what if it really was a giant conspiracy from other authors to release books around when LKH does, just to keep her out of the much coveted #1 slot.  There'd be decoder rings, and Stephen King feverishly hitting refresh on her blog site just so that he can let others know when to set their launch dates. 

Jon and I just went into a bookstore to pick up a few things, and there I was, my book, in the number two slot on the wall. There was a lovely display in the window and not only THE HARLEQUIN but also STRANGE CANDY in softback. Very cool. I actually allowed myself a few minutes of standing in front of the window display and revelling in it.

If I ever make it big, I'll probably be one of the first people to stand by a display of my book(s?) and get a photo of me with it...while I'm holding Clarence, my rubber chicken.  Because I'm that much of a dork.  But this woman has had how many displays for how many books? I mean, does she stand there and tilt her head to one side while her eyes glaze over in a misty, far away look of love (or conjunctivitis) whenever she sees a display of her books? I'm now having visions of LKH in book store, standing like that while she internally monologues about her hard, loveless, lonely life in all its teen-angsty glory.  And then all the clerks close up and turn off the lights while she's still standing there.

For anyone who cares, the rest of the blog is A) a big OMG THANKYOU to all the people who wrote in and said, "U R #1 TO MEEE!!!1!" re: The Harlequin's ranking, and B) Why Laurell Doesn't Like Bookstores, But Totally Still Does.  Again, I run with my theory that her popularity is on enough of a decline for her to want to cling to as much affirmation of her greatness as she can -- so while she missed out on that precious #1 slot on the NYT, she can still stroke her...ego...at having the bigass displays that plaster her name all over the place.

Maybe having the Team LKH Pep Squad follow her around is starting to get too expensive and the pom-pom bois have to go home now.

Comments

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

Well she better be prepared to drop further down because Janet Evanovich had a new book come out today.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

AHH HA HA! This is why -- if there's not one already -- there needs to be some kind of network of authors to keep her low on the charts.

[pith]

mneiai and I had some amusement about what if it really was a giant conspiracy from other authors to release books around when LKH does, just to keep her out of the much coveted #1 slot. There'd be decoder rings, and Stephen King feverishly hitting refresh on her blog site just so that he can let others know when to set their launch dates.

I totally had a Team America flashback there, with FAG.

Except Laurell would be like the Matt Damon: "Boys. Pretty boys. Boys pretty. Hee. BOYS."

Modly: Thank you for tagging. Just skimming back at the month I missed, I see I'm gonna have to tag a fair bit (and then there are the archives.... eeek), so... yeah. It's appreciated =)

[idkmybffironman.livejournal.com]

...and Stephen King feverishly hitting refresh on her blog site just so that he can let others know when to set their launch dates.

This made me laugh. A lot. More than it should have, really. :)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Now I'm going to be imagining Team LKH as marionettes. *dies*

Aww, no problem on the tagging. Welcome back! Hope you enjoyed England. :D

[pith]

It's better than having "Merita! FUCK YEAH!" running through your head.

(Make it stop!)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It makes me giggle...because I wouldn't put it past King to actually do that.

Also your icon is hypnotic. EEE dancing Rodney!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

OMG, now just imagine [insert sex scene here] done marionette style! AHHH! MY BRAIN! DO NOT WAAANT!

[jeannette.livejournal.com]

"I have the number two book in America? If only it were not number one. Why does the world hate me?"

[gweneth-syeira.livejournal.com]

And then all the clerks close up and turn off the lights while she's still standing there.

lmao. I can so totally see that

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

What I think gets me most is that she ever thought TH could beat out a book by the guy who wrote The Kite Runner, which had meaning, plot, awesome characterization, and taught a moral lesson. All of which are lacking from LKH's books.

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

"Comin' to save the mother fuckin' day now!"

My boyfriend and I watched that movie this past weekend... I had that song run through my head in the midst of making out, which cued a giggle fest and then it was gone. It is now back, I have no idea if I should thank you or not...

[pith]

Sadly, the puppet sex probably looks more natural.

Though now the whole "once you put a man's cock in your mouth, you've made a contract" has whole new connotations.

I'm almost tempted to watch the movie again and see how many other parallels there are.

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

Amen. The Kite Runner made me cry.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

And yet, with TH in all its non-braining glory...it's still #2. That's all kinds of wrong right there, just not for the great injustice the author sees.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

We should all gather around and sing, "I SO RONERY!" for Laurell's most recent Father's Day post. *nods*

[nimnix.livejournal.com]

You write mental trash, LKH. Just accept it and move on. No light reading book with the language level of fanfic even AFTER editing is going to beat out people who know grammar, plot, characterization, who are basically worth the insane price of a hardback.

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

I read it for an intersession class at my college along with two other books, it wasn't my favorite, but it was really good. It was an amazing freshman effort, too. LKH should feel weak and impotent, considering what her earlier books were like. I mean, sure, Nightseer was amusing, but it was hardly a good book.

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

I mean, who would ever want to read about the suffering of Afghani women when they can read the rule feminist book that TH is?

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

Something tells me I speak not only for myself when I say: Bitch, STFU!

I mean, really. How many of us here are writers? And how many of us would die of joy just to be on a bestseller list period?

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

It was.

I read it for a group at the library--four memoirs and discussion about each. The Kite Runner and ...I forget the title. Perhaps The Color of Water?

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

bing! Except I don't so much care about the bestseller thing as I do about whether or not what I write is good enough to impress the academic muckity-mucks.

...why yes, I am an English major. ;-)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Seriously, this is why I'd demand a photo of me and my rubber chicken to celebrate the occasion. I don't care if I'd be last on the list, I'd be on the freaking list.

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

I think generally when you're still the little unpublished author, no matter what you know about the publishing industry, you'd still really like to believe that if your work becomes a bestseller, it's because the writing is actually -good-.

[nimnix.livejournal.com]

Obviously they don't know suffering the way Laurita knows! I mean, you saw her oh-so-poignant blog entry on fathers.

*Gives LKH a moment to look up the word poignant on her dictionary-calendar*