hating the men of AB and MG

[sister-ananke.livejournal.com]

I really really REALLY hate most of the male characters LKH writes. To the point THEY, not Merita, is why I no longer read either series. So I thought a fun thing would be to detail why in a long, drawn out post. Well, probably not long or drawn out, studying journalism curtailed my instinctive effervesence somewhat. Not entirely though, as my last sentence illustrated...

So, we start with the hate.

First up, the darling of the series, JeanClaude. Or, as I see him, the stalker date-rapist. "Oops, I'm sorry my little* I've infected you with something that forces you to fuck me? And I've isolated you from everyone you cared about? Terribly sorry about that". His controlling psycho behaviour in the first few books really put me off. I figured Blake was gonna stake him at some point and take over herself. Or at least make the vampires in the city descend into chaos. Except, the mighty cooze triumphs over sanity, Blake starts thinking with her quim, and we have some pantywaister, long-haired creep frenching it up all over the place and it's supposed to be romantic? Hot even? *shudders*. Maybe it's because I started reading the ick-Blake while I was living with a hot long-haired bloke who, apart from being off limits, was entirely unnattractive to me sexually, in spite of his natural hotness. I've never met a man hot enough to short-circuit my self preservation. Let alone the fifteen or so who populate Blake's world.

*ma petite translates as 'my little'. Why hello patronising, infantilising misogyny! How surprising to find you in the guise of romance...

Secondly, Richard. At least more people hate him as well. Except they usually think JC is somehow better. I've got an ex like Richard - whiny, angsty, prone to violence and still enamoured of this idea any sane person would have dropped a few years back. Also seems to think yelling at me, calling me names and threatening me will make me love him again. I dumped that guy, cut him out of my life and never looked back. Blake enables it, what with the random fucking and the petty bullshit. Richard has no spine, he never did. He had some good ideas, and was emotionally honest, but doesn't have enough spine to keep it all going. Not enough to make democracy amongst the wolves work. Not enough to protect his pack (why oh wy hasn't Sylvie taken him down?) and not enough to cut Blake off as the psychotic hosebeast she really is. I had hoped (vainly and lets face it, stupidly) that LKH would elaborate the rape he suffered through (both Raina and that of his kin) and integrate it. But male survivors don't really exist in Blake's world beyond angst for her. I find it hard to hate Richard as much as the rest, I still find him somewhat understandable. Except the relationship with Blake.

Thirdly we've got everyone's favourite cardboard cutout and rapist, Micah. "Oh you need to have sex but don't want to? Let me ram my gigantic, injurious penis into you repeatedly until you bleed in the name of love!" - nice work LKH. Make a character with no actual personality still despicable. Then there was the 'oh noes, no one will ever love my giant peen! I couldn't possible try not having sex until she's comfortable, or stop when it hurts her though, I just have to find the perfect fit and when I heard about you doing the rounds of the wolf pack, I just knew you were The One". I do dislike 'The One' as a romantic concept, particularly when they just seem to exist as a foil to your brilliance and to look pretty. Also, green and yellow eyes? Looks ill. Like vomitous ill. Chartreuse doesn't make it better, just sounds nicer.

Then in the other corner we have Rhys, immature dipwad extraordinaire, Frost, whining knobjockey, Barinthus the icky uncle, Doyle who seems to be channeling the darkity-dark into whinety-whine and of course, Galen who is like that jock from highschool who acts like a kid except when he's trying to get in your pants.

My special vehement hatred though? Jason. I fucking despise that sexually abusive creep. From the very first. I hated the 'we're friends so it's okay' spiel because it belies his abusive nature as someone who again, has raped Blake. For her own good you see. Plus he's always really wanted to fuck her. So it's okay. Except it's just sleazy and gross, like that creepy dude down the road who always tries to drink with you, and touches your hair.

So, yeah, my neuroses are on show here, but I'm suspecting it isn't just me. Even though I know some of you like these guys. I've stopped now because, well, I'm tired and sick of thinking about arseholes. So, who do you hate? What's your pet characterisation peeve?

Comments

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

I especially hate Richard, but with a disclaimer: most of the reasons I hate him (as a character) are the fault of LKH's appalling writing - if she could just grasp the concept of "character development" and stop having him, every bloody book, knock down the door for no reason because he's pissy for no reason and end up crying and having a Revelation - only to do the same damn thing next book - he'd be much more likeable.

On the Merry front (and having only read the first three), I have special hate for the first sex scene with Frost - the doggy-style, can't meet his eyes because this is a Special Time for Frost and it's Not About Her, because he hasn't gotten his rocks off in however many centuries. I mean, talk about squick.

And Galen. Fucking pansy-ass Galen. It's not his fault, though: it's bloody Merry, who keeps going ON AND ON about how Galen could Never Be King, but insists on fucking him and running the risk of *making* him king because they have Twue Wuv.

[sister-ananke.livejournal.com]

I think their weirdest sex scene was in the limo in the most recent one, after the water stuff, when they randomly start talking about electro-play. Totally random, like LKH just found out about it.

But yeah, the whole 'sex after years' thing is just ick all round.

[deire.livejournal.com]

Not to mention, ultimately unflattering to Merry. "No, honey, it's not that he wants you, it's that by now he'd do a hole in the wall."

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

can't meet his eyes because this is a Special Time for Frost and it's Not About Her, because he hasn't gotten his rocks off in however many centuries.

Ugh. Seriously? That's stupid. If it's not about her in any way, if all he needs is an orgasm, can't he just masturbate?

Reminds me of a friend of mine, who once told me that it's one thing to ignore someone after you sleep with them, as long as you've made it clear in advance that you will - but the worst thing she knows is people who ignore you during. =]

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

It's as if LKH cannot imagine a relationship which is not abusive mentally, physically and sexually. Which says a lot about her relationships.

I don't like the 'out of control' notion, I honestly believe that we wouldn't think so little of Merita if she was choosing to have sex with all these men, without the trappings of love/ ardon't/ need to get pregnant for political reasons. If she said "I like this man, I want to have sex with him, I'll have sex with him." then you could respect her honesty and integrity. But this need to dress things up, to force her into the sexual relationships, is what has turned the character into what she is.

I never could stand Richard, to be honest, from the very first. And considering when he first showed up in CoD, he was naked and in bed with another shapeshifter, I had him pegged as a shapeshifter immediately. His later claims that his only sexual relationship was Raina were kind of dodgy, considering he was naked in bed with a woman, and to claim not to be interested in men when he was acting as food for the bisexual, incubus-channelling Master of the City was a bit dubious too. I think they used to refer to the kind of relationship Richard and Anita have as co-dependence, but I may be wrong.

I despised Micah, a spineless, lying rapist from the very beginning. Politically motivated, he's still the ultimate spin-doctor. Really, he should have plotted to be Nimir-Raj then bumped off Merita.

Jean-Claude was always a manipulative bastard, and I kind of liked him for that. He gets his own way, he never gets his hands dirty, and he secures his power base. He's a politician, and I liked that. I don't like this "I have never loved anyone like I love you Anita" schtick, he's become toothless recently. Unfortunately :/ I like it when he issues the smackdown and reminds Anita she's nothing more than a servant.

Merry, where to begin? I kind of like Rhys, who at least has a reason to be a miserable twat, but isn't as bad as whiny Frost. How could Merry love Frost? All he does is whinge! Doyle started out okay but now is pathetic. I haven't read Mistral's Kiss yet, and don't intent to, to be honest. I think the only male characters I liked were her boss at the Grey Detective Agency, and Sholto. I like Sholto :) I even kind of like Andais, for her psychotic bitchery and random torture :)

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

"He'd make a barber's shop floor nervous." is one I once heard used, and it still makes me giggle.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

It's not just you. I don't hate them quite as vehemently, but I can't fault your arguments.

My pet characterisation peeve? Nathaniel, or as I affectionately call him, Man-Bitch. -_- I almost had a stroke during that chapter in Incubus Dreams when Anita says that she's been trying to get Nathaniel to get a girlfriend, go to college, and generally start having his own life. And someone (I forget who) tells her "but as far as he's concerned, you are his girlfriend, and he's perfectly happy being your housekeeper and caring for your every need."

Uhm... right. But just because Anita is his girlfriend "as far as he's concerned" it doesn't mean she has any duty to be. In fact, this would be the point where Anita has to bring herself to tell Nathaniel, "I can't be what you want me to be, and you can't spend your life catering to my every whim," even though it breaks her heart to take away the tranquility he's achieved. That could have been a really sweet, sad, pathos-filled scene... so of course it doesn't happen, and Anita decides that it would be selfish of her not to play into Nathaniel's happy little fantasy. Aaarrrgghhh.

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Just because someone has made you the centre of their fantasy world doesn't oblige you to them in any way. Even if you think they're hot, you're not obliged to act on it.

I think the relationship between Anita and Nathaniel is quite disturbing. He manipulates her all the time, and she just sighs and suffers it.

[raging-muse.livejournal.com]

My pet peeve with the Merry books is Frost! I cannot stand Frost or understand _why_ any self respecting woman would fancy herself in love with a whiner like him. I mean honestly, who out there finds Frost sexy? Galen is the second one I don't think much of, he's weak, really week, he's worse then Nathaniel! And i'm a female that likes a strong male not a weak one so it does nothing for me to see a guy that's just pretty muscle.

Doyle is probably the least sickening of them, at least he has his own agenda, but he's no where near as cool as he could have been in the first book. For some reason male characters in Merry/Anita/Laurell's world can't get ahead of the female in any way. I'd personally love to Doyla knock her up, get the kingship and kill her off, along with Frost. That would make my day, it really would! Rhys i don't mind either.

Anita's harem is just going from bad to worse. Once upon a time I'm a little ashamed to admit i liked JC, he was interesting, but he's just been pussy whipped or the real JC got kidnapped by aliens and a clone got put in his place. He just sux.

Richard is probably my most hated character in Anita's books. He didn't do much for me at the start and he does even less in the recent books. Nathaniel is another one that i particuarly hate, I imagine no self respecting top would touch him. Also for an guy that grew up on the streets he certainly doesn't seem so, he seems to soft to have survived on the streets.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

I don't understand why JC gets a free pass from so many readers for blackmailing Anita into dating him.

In the early books I found him mildly intriguing, but when Anita accepted his blackmail it turned her into one of those pathetic "heroines" straight out of a pre-feminist bodice-ripper.

I doubt Harlequin would have pulled that kind of crap after the '70's.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

because he was a bad guy like type
the whole machiavelli thing is fun
but then he got to be pod-JC and the adeur woke ... gah

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

I liked the first books for guys like Edward, Rafael, Dolph - and the whole mystery/fantasy angle - and the bitchy anita who was still not that bad at the time

I dislike the pod-characters now, and actually hate it that all of them got to be whiny ...

Merry, well I liked Doyle and Barinthus in the first two books
apart from that, meh not so much, whiny, weird rules, sex deprieved guys = argh

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

In the Anita books, I hate Richard and Nathaniel, mostly for the reasons everyone else has given already. Richard is a whiney asshole that hates Anita and everyone else around but keeps coming back because Anita is sooooo irresistable. Nathaniel should just be put down, he's so useless.
As for JC, I forget he exists a good majority of the time now. I liked him in the beginning. He may have been evil, but that's what his character was supposed to be. Now he has no real personality for me to hate.

In Merry, honestly I've forgotten most of the people. There were so many from the beginning that most of them never made an impression. The general thing that bothers me about Merry's boys is that they were adults when she was a baby. I know in the fairy thing they stop growing and live forever but it bothers me more than the vamps. I guess it's when they talk about how they were good friends of her fathers.
But Frost has been the biggest crybaby bitch for a long long time.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I. FUCKING. HATE. FROST.

Even in the first book (maybe the first two books) where her harem actually had some charm, I wanted to throttle Frost. Honestly, what turned me off the Merry books was LKH's fawning over this whiny, spineless little twerp and shunting Doyle off to the side. Doyle is the only one left with any sense! He's much needed. -.-

Most of her men start well (Rhys and Richard are good examples), but the more LKH writes about them, the more she kills them. A cheerful death god and possibly the only guy in Merry's harem with a sense of humor? That was cool. Then he became an obnoxious wankstain.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I admit that I liked Rhys and Richard-- early on. And then she divorced Gary and Richard went nuts, and she can't resist making guys whiny and neurotic, so what good characterization she had of Rhys went down the crapper. That's my biggest pet peeve with the series. How does she take good characters and tear them to shreds like she does?

I think the character that drives me crazy the most is Kitto. He had such potential, and I was seriously intrigued when she first introduced him (also, and I'm shallow for saying this, but he's the prettiest *cough*). Maybe it's because I'm short, but the way she talks about him like some kind of child drives me up the fucking wall. He's older than all of them, and sure LKH writes him as a cowering ninny, but he's still smarter than the rest and has the sense God gave little green apples, which is more than I can say about... anyone, even Doyle. I loved Doyle early on, and because she ignores him in favor of her angstpuppies, he doesn't get lobotomized nearly as badly, but... gah. If he's gonna be tough and badass, he needs to be badass.

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

I forgot about Kitto.
I think he's the Merry version of Nathaniel.

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

Well, you won't get any argument from me on Micah-hate, lol. The most one-dimensional character I've ever seen, certainly. But Jean-Claude, in my opinion, has been Machiavellian and intelligent all along. He knew he wasn't powerful enough alone to control St. Louis and to have the Council in fear. So his manipulation of Anita makes total sense. It also makes sense for her to fall for it, since at the time of Guilty Pleasures, she hadn't accrued all of these souuuper-powahz! yet.

Even now, I think a large part of JC's motivations comes not out of some misplaced love for Anita, but out of a more business-like approach: He knows that his own well-being depends on Anita not only accepting her life the way it is, but also taking steps to ensure that no one threatens it. Since we view the books through Anita's POV, it makes sense that she's convinced herself that all of these men love her and want a true relationship with her. It's almost a Stockholm Syndrome, in my opinion.


As for Richard, his character was assassinated so badly, there just isn't any way to repair it. Having the wolf-king be a mild-mannered Science teacher was a cool idea, but giving him all of these issues was a really bad move on LKH's part. He's a scapegoat in every sense of the word, but instead of feeling sorry for him, i've just become increasingly annoyed.

I think a lot of these issues boil down to LKH believing that as long as there is a relationship in place, you aren't being used. Which explains the ridiculous idea that any of these men would truly consent to being in what amounts to a nonagon.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I find it really disturbing that she needs someone like that. But I find it worse with Kitto because you do get those little glimmers of a really awesome, self-assured character that just needs some security to come into his own. Too bad he's getting coddled like a little dolly instead.

She keeps him under her desk ajhelajwdke.

Mind, I've only read the first three books.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

I find the relationship between Anita and Nathaniel disturbing because it makes me think of Anita as a molester.

I certainly don't see how she's suffering. He's her ideal man. An utterly submissive trophy wife with a prodigious dick.

[akaibara.livejournal.com]

You know, that's rather cool, and I wish there was some chance of having a book where Jean-Claude actually turns on Anita and 'bwahaha this was my plan all along~'

...except that at this point it wouldn't work and would come off as silly. And they would probably still end up having sex. T-T

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

Yeah, JC definitely had some intresting, manipulative Machiavellian stuff going on in the early books, where we first see inklings of the whole Anita being forced into sexual situations theme. What annoyed me was that Anita fell for it, and then wangsted about it. Having the Executioner fall for a bunch of monsters/become one is a pretty good way to ensure she no longer kills any.

I admit I liked Richard at first, it was interesting to see someone Anita actually was attracted to instead of being manipulated into liking/dating them and the mild-mannered schoolteacher thing amused me. Trouble is he like everyone else was an avatar and turned into a scapegoat as others have said, causing LKH to completely ruin any characterization or character development he may have had. And then continue to do so in every. single. book.

I never liked Micah, I wish LKH had stuck with her original plot and made him into a villain instead of deciding he and Anita were omgz!soulmatez

[mm_madb]

Richard in the first book he showed up in, back when I first read the books, was what I wanted. Outdoors-y, smart, good with kids, and working to find da balance in a situation that was nearly unbearable. I have successfully stopped my brain from allowing me to remember anything from the "Anita freaks out and screws the corpse" scene on with regards to Richard.

[artemis-rex.livejournal.com]

I actually liked Frost in the first half of "Kiss of Shadows," when he was this cold, sneering bad-ass with a knife fetish.

I was all, "yay, someone who won't fall into the Crotch of Doom," because the moment I read the "curvy and short" description of Merry, I knew her to be the alternate incarnation of the Crotch that she is.

Then he fell in, and became a whiny emo-bitch.

And I was all, "damn."

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Micah I will eternally hate for being nothing more than a waste of space. A) I don't see the attraction, B) he isn't even a character because that would require giving him some kinds personality rather than a description and an Issue, C) omfgwtf, he's meant to be a Nimir-Raj? WHEN HAVE WE EVER SEEN HIM TOTALLY ALPHA PWN ANYONE? And worst, he came to Anita to help him protect his people!? So in that action, he kinda already admits he sucks at this whole authority thing, dumps it all on Anita -- who alreay sucks at this whole authority thing in the worst possible way -- and blissfully kicks back to tell her she's doing a fine job.

Yeah. Great. Die, already.

I'm not going to fault you on your argument, because they're all valid points. But I will chime in with a whole, "OMFG WHY IS THERE SUCH AN ELABORATE SET UP AND JUSTIFICATION FOR EVERY. TIME. MERITA. HAS. SEX?" -- because that really does need to be said in all caps for the sheer WTFery of it all.

And I have to wonder why sex has to be so fucking important, pun fully intended.

With Anita, it's...really not necessary. At all. Ever. I get that she was apprehensive about having a sexual relationship with someone after getting burned by her college ex -- but everything after that? ZOMGWTF? SPECIALLY the whole ardeur thing, which I maintain is one of the worst plot devices ever, when it could have been seriously so freaking awesome and scary (well, it could...in the hands of a more competant writer).

With Merry, okay, I can understand that getting pregnant requires the sex. But not with a different guy every single night. And again, there's all this complex justification that Merry must have sex with this new guy or else he'll die, she'll lose her harem whom she wuvs so vewy vewy much, blah, blah, blah -- these are the people who tried to kill her on several occasions, finding out that they're really misunderstood and need nookie to fix it all is ridiculous beyond words. Just because she's got the option of sexing over thirty six dudes doesn't mean she has to do all of them.

And let's not forget her ex that sold their happy snaps of the porn to the media and was branded an utter bastard...while Merry quite happily puts on various shows for the helicopters that fly over Maeve Reed's house, and later has the very public sex. Yeah. Great. Uh-huh. He's the bastard for making an extra buck and dumping her for being a mongrel...wait, what? THIS SOUNDS EERILY FAMILIAR.

I have way too many issues with the MG series to air out in a simple comment.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

It's pretty obvious that LKH wanted to write alpha males so that she could have fun later watching them turn into a bunch of sissies because of her Anita Blake's power. Too bad she didn't grasp the context of 'alpha male' right. She should have read a lot more romance novels.