I think an Evanescance song would be apppropriately emo here.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

My dear Lashers,

LKH got her hands on some exotic animals.

LKH - emphasis. Me - pain

From here

We got to pet animals I'd never petted before. The charity was a wild animal rescue group, Safari’s Sanctuary, and they brought out their animals to let the guests see them. Reticulated and Burmese python, the first was a yellow albino; Fennec (small desert fox); albino baby raccoon; skunk both albino and regular; ring-tailed lemur (who helped with my audio podcast at Conestoga, you'll know what I mean when you hear it); alligator; and wolves. Yes, I said wolves...

... The reptiles had the least natural odor. I'm always wanting to know what animals smell like, for the writing, and I think writing the wereanimals has made me more aware of that oft neglected sense; smell...

...But, honestly, my favorite was the Fennec. With it's huge ears and delicate triangular face, it looked like some sort of fairy creature. It's fur was the softest of any of the other animals, silky. It also stood on the shoulders of it's handler. I mean I've heard of a shoulder cat, or a shoulder bird, but a shoulder fox was new.

I think we all know what happens now, don't we. Don't we.

Do you think she'll remember she already did a fox? Or are you more concerned with were-snake sex? And don't say Nagas, please. Because I don't want to have nightmares about how an inherited magical condition makes its way into the wereswirl that is her immune system.

One last LKH quote:
Wild animals are best left in the wild.

Then set Richard free woman!

Comments

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Oh, I shouldn't have read that before breakfast. Seriously, beyond thinking, "Get on with it woman!" during her listing of what she saw, I had one other thought.

"Those poor semicolins! Someone give those abused babies a home." Honestly, my eye was twitching as I read it. It was painful! I'm not an English grammer professor, and I'll admit my writing can be horrible, but that just looked wrong. Very, very wrong.

And I agree, let Richard go! Honestly, I don't recall any rule that states that the members of a tri had to have sex with each other. Let Richard go and find happiness, and he can still be part of that silly tri and everyone is happy.

[stefflebug.livejournal.com]

I think she broke my brain with that horrible misuse of punctuation, especially the semicolon. Does this mean that the semicolon is the new comma for LKH?

And she used the word 'oft'. Was she trying to come off pompous, or did she just come off that way while pretending to be all condescending? I fear the world will never know.

I feel sorry for the Fennec. I get the feeling it's going to be used in a Merry book (since she described it as being a fairy creature and has already used were-foxes).

Also, I know plenty of animals that ride on their handler's shoulders, especially if they're small. I'm not surprised LKH doesn't, given how narrow her view of things is.

Finally I agree with the sentiment of free Richard. Maybe we should start the Free Richard campaign, urging her to remember that wild animals are best left in the wild (in her own words).

[easol.livejournal.com]

With its delicate little features and silky fur, a Fennec would be ideal for another femmeman. And I wouldn't be surprised if another SPECIAL werefox comes along for Anita...

BTW, I just googled for pics of them. They're adorable, but their ears are almost TOO big. Like a fox/rabbit cross.

Maybe we should start a website devoted to "Free the Richard!" But she never will, because if she did, it means that both in the real and imaginary world, her ex is free to go on and live his life without her in it.

[chubling.livejournal.com]

Run little animals! Run!

I'm sure this means that there will be a whole new group of were-animals that Anita doesn't want to have to fuck, will throw a fit about having to fuck them, she'll give in, have a screaming orgasm with and then OMG! Love them.

And she'll describe the animals exactly the way she did here. Because she just likes to cut and past her descriptions of things. She uses the same wording every damned time.

[moonsinger.livejournal.com]

Watch out, with the popularity of Meerkat Junction, she'll have a were-meercat.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

See below. Albino 'furry' with large dong for 200$, Alex.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

And this is the woman that likes to trot out, "I HAS A BIOLOGY DEGREE! PH34R! RAR!" when she's blathering about animals?

...you would think that she's never been to a zoo before? I know it's one thing to be on one side of a fence to see the animals, and another to actually HOLD and TOUCH them (and for that reason, I will never forget my behind-the-scenes tour of our zoo, and I got to pet an ocelot. An ocelot that later mauled a girl's bag, and we were all standing there going, "omg kitty paw!" while she was like, "OMG MY BAG! "

But sweet fucking Azathoth, those are not. that. exotic. If she were molesting a Black Rhino or a King Cheetah, I'd forgive her because those are endangered beyond belief. Snakes and skunks and an alligator? ISN'T THAT WHAT FLORIDA IS FOR IN YOUR COUNTRY???

And don't get me started on the smelling thing. Not only does it give me hillarious mental images of her trying to snort a 6 foot long python, but it makes me headdesk because HEY LADY, YOU'RE A WRITER. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE SHIT UP WHEN IT COMES TO THE WAY THINGS SMELL. I do it all the freaking time, because I have an incredibly lousy sense of smell (thanks hayfever) and most of the time, I can't smell a goddamned thing. And I'm using this as a kind of proof that I'm at least a few brain cells smarter and more talented than this woman because I can describe a situation I've never been in, along with the smell and tactile sensations, for characters I don't think are real.

My geek-fu will now try to kill her with its brain. Its big, juicy brain.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I foresee....an Albino were-something with a large.....

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Snakes and skunks and an alligator? ISN'T THAT WHAT FLORIDA IS FOR IN YOUR COUNTRY???

I couldn't stop laughing after that. I used to live in FL, and believe me, that's what it felt like in some areas. My uncle took us "Gater spotting" once. Scariest moment of my life after he gave a speech on how they can ram the boat (it was a small boat) or pop up over the side and how little girls were their favorite foods.

I now live far away from Gaters.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Your geek-fu resembles David Tennant, and I REALLY love that. I worship the geek Doctor.

Ye gods, she considers skunks and wolves exotic? They're all over the place. Someone force this woman on a tour of the San Diego zoo so she can see some REALLY exotic animals, some of which have dwindled to almost nothing.

[ravenhaley.livejournal.com]

They couldn't bite her hand?

I am still hoping for a were-Unicorn just like on Robot Chicken:

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/52337.html

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Magical unicorn manyonase! Who forsees that there will someday be more mythological creatures (ie, like the Naga) in the books. After Anita has exhausted the normal animal gene pool.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

All right, SOMEBODY has to squee over your icon. *squees*

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

See, now this is one of those things that wouldn't bother me at all from another writer. One writer I love just recently posted about how her pond was full of tadpoles, and they were turning into frogs, and soon she would have empty-pond syndrome, and from her it was kinda whimsical and charming. Of course, I didn't have to then wonder, unwillingly, about the sexual practices of frogs and frog-human compatibility.

[mad-troll.livejournal.com]

One writer I love just recently posted about how her pond was full of tadpoles, and they were turning into frogs, and soon she would have empty-pond syndrome, and from her it was kinda whimsical and charming.

..you're reading Kit Whitfields blog, aren't you?
Tsk, tsk..soon you'll be too spoiled by level-mindedness to stand a good LKH sporking. ;)

[aramuin.livejournal.com]

See, I think the difference is that on other writer's blogs, this gets presented as 'This is something I think is interesting/enertaining'. Personally I like the sort of writer blog that gives an insight into the writer. Not too much detail (obviously) but enough to let you feel you understand their thinking.

LKH always seems to be trying to imbue everything with enormous significance and it always ties back into how hard it is to write and how she never takes a break. She's trying too hard to show how good a writer she is and it's back-firing.

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

First of all:

The reptiles had the least natural odor.

WTF? How is that even possible? Did they smell like, say, plastic?

And, just because it's a blogflog and because I can't figure out how to make a post long enough not to get the modly "short post" chiding ^_^ - did anyone else laugh their ass off at Darla's post wherein she stated that there will be an "Anita Blake Does Comic Con 2007" shirt? Anyone want to guess what the artwork on that's gonna look like?

[easol.livejournal.com]

"Anita Blake visits the Comic Con, only to have the ardeur rise and spill out into all the long-haired, femme-faced, giant-dingled assembled there. To save their geek-fu..."

[recovered-dream.livejournal.com]

First of all:

The reptiles had the least natural odor.

WTF? How is that even possible? Did they smell like, say, plastic?

Good lord, am I the ONLY person who knows that a snake in its natural habitat, or anything CLOSE to a natural habitat, has almost no scent? Duh? That's what makes them able to hide in plain site and catch their dinner!

[tsula.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's what we do here in Tulsa... we play with wild animals when not traisping about in loincloths and living in teepees and eating fried bread and drinking firewater. It's that whole Native American commune with nature thing. Howa, pale face!

/end sarcasm

Has she never seen a fox before? Seriously. We used to feed the ones that would come around the house hotdogs and bologna as kids.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Hell, I live in an area flanked by three major cities on the east coast, and I see foxes all the time. I saw a pair of older kits wandering through the woods near my grocery store.

[burning-nova.livejournal.com]

Why, oh, why did she feel the need to post about this? It makes her sound very young in my opinion. I've only seen a rabbit and deer as wild animals but know very well, that there are coyotes, racoons, and foxes in cities and urban areas. I live in the suburbs by the way but just stay to nice non-enviorment-y areas. *Grumbles "Stupid fear of insects."/Grumble*

Also, did she pet the alligator? I mean, I like baby alligators and crocodiles since I think they're cute but I would not get near one.

Most of all, I do not wish to read on flogs about her use of...description about the smell of weresnakes or shit.

Also, why would they have the least natural odor? I had a turtle, it smelled in the tank but not so much out of it. Was she just smelling its habitat? What exactly did she expect them to smell like? Wetwer-wet dog?

[recovered-dream.livejournal.com]

Will she remember that she did a fox? I don't know, she did some cowardly little cretin without a clue in his sorry head... is that the character you refer to?

She seriously needs to learn about foxes, and animals in general. Foxes are NOT sweet little things. They run to avoid fighting or to lead hunters away from their den, not because they are cowardly. Hells, DISNEY did better at portraying a fox!

And goodness, a SHOULDER fox even? Whatever would she think of a fox climbing up a tree!

The raccoon? NOT exotic unless you count that those who own one have to have a lisence and you have to take them to a vet who deals in exotics. (I used to do wild animal rehab.)

Reticulated Burmese Pythons sell in pet stores around the country. I've known 2 people who had them as pets. Not exotic really.

A skunk is now an exotic? Maybe an exotic pet, which means only that not everyone has one, like adog or a cat.

And OMG THERE WERE WOLVES! Yes, that magnificent animal about which you, LKH, have no FREAKING CLUE ABOUT! The way she describes the wolves in her stories defies everything that is known about them beyond 4 feet and fur! Hey, BTW... what's with all the Odinic references with the wolves? Wolves predate Vikings by oh... a few thousand millenia!!! Vikings didn't see wolves as a very good sign either. Yes, there was a tie between them and Odin. There's also the great big one that the gods tied up because they were afraid of him? Yeah... nice inter-connection there.

Wolves do NOT sleep in piles for comfort. They DO NOT rub on one another incessantly! They do NOT eye the mate of the alpha if they know what's good for them. They do NOT have stupid "bully wolf" status in the pack... if one wolf is ticked at another, they fight their own fights, BETA WOLVES INCLUDED! They're also surprisingly non-confrontational. Wolves won't attack someone or something in their territory unless the den is threatened or unless they are hunting. They watch and IF something becomes threatening they attack, but not before then.

Wolves do NOT EAT the dead of their pack. They drive out the aging or conflict-causing wolves who then establish a new pack or die from malnutrition. The injured and ill are protected, even hunted for, not beat up. OH, she also missed the whole MATE FOR LIFE thing.


As for wild animals belonging in the wild...

Yes, there are many who would not do well in an urban setting, or even a rural setting. However, where in the bright names of all the gods does this idiot think we got DOMESTICATED CATTLE, SHEEP, PIGS, DOGS, CATS, BIRDS, or any other domestic animal? DUH????

If people were aware that wild animals have different needs and will likely never be a sweet little lap baby, they'd probably make better pets than they do, it's just that there are WAY too many people in the world who think that... for example... a wolf is just like a dog and can thrive in an apartment or small yard and eat dog food. (Hint: it's called dog food because it's for dogs, not for other animals). Too many idiots, sadly LKH made it into print and now her fans think that wolves are snuggly sweet animals who like to have lots of sex and be big and bad! *eye roll* The woman should be banned from writing about anything and relating it to a wolf... if wolves could speak and had legal rights, they could sue her for discrimination!

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Will Shatner Kick Speak: Do not....get me started...on the...whole mate...for life thing.

When I first heard that Richard had trouble not giving Anita up, I naturally (stupidly) thought LKH was going to explore the concept of what happens when a were-wolf picks you as their mate and you are not a were and think you can move on when the relationship begins to unravel.

But then I heard that Anita had simply changed her status in the pack and fralalala.

Moreover; Mate For Life - Of course Richard would have a problem sharing. I might be misremembering but I think she even mentioned that Richard's wolf wasn't understanding what Anita was doing with another man, back when she was only dealing with JC.

W.

T.

F.

CRAZY LADY!

I gave her the eating the killed/dead, because I seriously thought she was gonna bust out with some tribal anthropological concept. There are actually groups who do or once did eat their dead as a measure of respect and honor. Given everything else were's hide, holding on to that kind of practice I could understand.

But....

OMFG CRAZY LADY!

I stopped reading after OB. But the book wherein Anita runs from Richard into JC's arms and not only gets comfort from him but has sex - I started wondering if I was supposed to like the protagonist. At the time there were other characters to follow and part of me understood that as weak as I personally found Anita at that moment, she was acting aware that contrary to her previous opinions dead walking human corpses at least still act human (blood sucking aside, and even humans neck nibble).

Nowadays all I hear from reviews and summaries is "And then Anita told Richard he just has a problem accepting his monster/she's more monster than he is/accepting himself blah blah blah.

And I'm all - WTF?! And also "He did accept himself bitch. He took over the pack and accepted himself! And then you drummed up cockamamie Sadistic Tendencies for him to angst over and Democracy for him to angst over and now it's his navel hair for him to angst over!"

SET RICHARD FREE!

*breathes*

Ok... I think that vent was hiding in there for a while.

[bleedingsand.livejournal.com]

...

Ms. Hamilton. Leave. The foxes. ALONE. Dear gods, I've heard The Harlequin isn't that bad, so I'm half-tempted to plop myself down at a bookstore and read it when I have a day off, but I see one more hint that she'll be bringing back werefoxes...

If she could still write worth a damn, and if she knew Japanese legend somewhat well, seeing her play with the kitsune would be interesting. But knowing she'll use them as yet another too-well endowed man to have sex with Anita... poor, poor kitsune. Never fall into this woman's hands again.