Bookflog: The Harlequin -Chapters 3-6
Jul. 25th, 2007 07:22 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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lkh_lashoutsI swear to God, 2-5 pages should NOT constitute an entire chapter!
So when last we left our intrepid heroine, she was pondering her tardiness for her date with Nathaniel. This tardiness then morphs into the epic proportions of "I'll meet you there." calibre. Which puts Anita just outside the movie theatre, eyeballing Nathaniel who's dressed like a bad imitation of Humphrey Bogart.
Yeah.
Then she gets swept awayby a garbage truck along with the rest of the trash by a case of TEH LUBZ!!!1! which is the mildly retarded stepchild of Twitterpated. Eventually, and after a long disseration on Nathaniel's blossoming manliness, Anita enters the theatre. She's edgy due to her mushy feelings, and then uses her mad necromancer logick skillz to deduce that she's being manipulated by a vampire. And so dies any hopes Nathaniel had of an enjoyable evening out with the love of his life.
The movie was King Kong btw... may Peter Jackson weep many a bitter tear. We then meet back up with our not-so beloved lead, as she faces the evil lines in the ladies' room. Followed by a recanting of the many woes of trying to hover-pee in a public restroom while packing heat. As she finishes her business, she finds a package addressed to her... WRITTEN IN BLOCK LETTERS! that oh, so screams "serial killer". So, of course, she assumes it's from Nathaniel.
She opens it, and it's a white mask.
And we all have a moment of WTF?-ness along with Anita. She leaves the bathroom with present in hand still WTF?-ing the gift. Nathaniel is equally WTF?-ed by it. And they all have another round of WTF?
Eventually Anita's mad necromancer logick skillz deduces that the gift is actually from the SUPRASEKRIT! ... whoever the hell that is.
She calls JC, and this time he answers. Good vampire. He asks the color of the mask... and then becomes oh, so relieved. Apparently white in mask-igraphy means "here to observe"... which is "a good thing". Had it been red, that would have been "a bad thing". JC also finally divulges who the SUPRASEKRIT! is as Anita notices a couple watching them rather attentively.
Turns out the SUPRASEKRIT! are actually *cues ominous soundtrack* THE HARLEQUIN a group of elite vampire cops, assassins, spies, and thieves. They uphold the vampiric law and order, and apparently it's a penalty of *doom voice* death */end doom voice*, if you talk about them when they aren't pissing directly upon your daisies. Apparently it's also The Harlequin that took out the Master of the City of London, when said Master made with the crazies. That's some \m/ hardcore \m/ shit right there, y'know what I'm sayin'? Shit, fool!
Yeah.
Anita hangs up with JC with plans to head to the strip club to meet him there. She and Nathaniel are approached by the couple. The lady is a fan of "Brandon" (that's Nathaniel's stripper name)... and her boyfriend is a fan of Anita, from her one-time only performance at GP. After a creepy, awkward conversation with the couple, Anita gets a stripper name of her very own! Christened "Nicky" by Nathaniel, as he puts his fedora back on and slips back intostealth ninja Incognito mode.
Yeah.
So, Anita isn't happy about getting a stripper name of her very own... especially when she finds out it was half of Nathaniel's Porn Star Name. Let's take a moment to go "Ah, how sweet!" ... and we're done.
So then on the drive to GP, the two lovebirds quarrel over Nathaniel voicing his discontent over Anita not tying him before they bump uglies. Anita's shocked at his demandings, and balks at the idea of her doing BDSM. Surely, the mind baffles. Nathaniel remains adament, and Anita promises to think about it.
Yeah.
When they get to the strip club they run into some interference by way of the newb running the Holy Item Check Post. She doesn't know that Anita is extra-spechul and so she won't let her pass with her cross on. Eventually it's Lisandro to the rescue, before he leads her and Nathaniel back to JC's office. Here we learn that the carpet and couch was replaced after a wild night between Asher and Anita, that I could have sworn had taken place in the office of Danse Macabre NOT Guilty Pleasures. *ponders*
Moving on!
Lisandro decides to get chatty, and starts trashing the local lion pride for being a bunch of pansies... and everyone agrees. Here, here! And he asks Anita to let Rafael interview her perspective lion bunkmates, so that she doesn't end up with a total loser. His reasoning behind it is that Nathaniel and Damian suck because they're puny little girly men, and she needs someone who can kick some ass! And since it's the wererats that guard her body so that she may live to fuck another day, that it should rightfully be Rafael who gets a say in the lion she picks to shag.
Anita's none too pleased... but the discussion gets dropped when Requiem knocks on the door to await JC who wants to see him. Thus ending chapter six and my will to continue.
Until another night, Adieu.
Yet another crossover from my own lj.
So when last we left our intrepid heroine, she was pondering her tardiness for her date with Nathaniel. This tardiness then morphs into the epic proportions of "I'll meet you there." calibre. Which puts Anita just outside the movie theatre, eyeballing Nathaniel who's dressed like a bad imitation of Humphrey Bogart.
Yeah.
Then she gets swept away
The movie was King Kong btw... may Peter Jackson weep many a bitter tear. We then meet back up with our not-so beloved lead, as she faces the evil lines in the ladies' room. Followed by a recanting of the many woes of trying to hover-pee in a public restroom while packing heat. As she finishes her business, she finds a package addressed to her... WRITTEN IN BLOCK LETTERS! that oh, so screams "serial killer". So, of course, she assumes it's from Nathaniel.
She opens it, and it's a white mask.
And we all have a moment of WTF?-ness along with Anita. She leaves the bathroom with present in hand still WTF?-ing the gift. Nathaniel is equally WTF?-ed by it. And they all have another round of WTF?
Eventually Anita's mad necromancer logick skillz deduces that the gift is actually from the SUPRASEKRIT! ... whoever the hell that is.
She calls JC, and this time he answers. Good vampire. He asks the color of the mask... and then becomes oh, so relieved. Apparently white in mask-igraphy means "here to observe"... which is "a good thing". Had it been red, that would have been "a bad thing". JC also finally divulges who the SUPRASEKRIT! is as Anita notices a couple watching them rather attentively.
Turns out the SUPRASEKRIT! are actually *cues ominous soundtrack* THE HARLEQUIN a group of elite vampire cops, assassins, spies, and thieves. They uphold the vampiric law and order, and apparently it's a penalty of *doom voice* death */end doom voice*, if you talk about them when they aren't pissing directly upon your daisies. Apparently it's also The Harlequin that took out the Master of the City of London, when said Master made with the crazies. That's some \m/ hardcore \m/ shit right there, y'know what I'm sayin'? Shit, fool!
Yeah.
Anita hangs up with JC with plans to head to the strip club to meet him there. She and Nathaniel are approached by the couple. The lady is a fan of "Brandon" (that's Nathaniel's stripper name)... and her boyfriend is a fan of Anita, from her one-time only performance at GP. After a creepy, awkward conversation with the couple, Anita gets a stripper name of her very own! Christened "Nicky" by Nathaniel, as he puts his fedora back on and slips back into
Yeah.
So, Anita isn't happy about getting a stripper name of her very own... especially when she finds out it was half of Nathaniel's Porn Star Name. Let's take a moment to go "Ah, how sweet!" ... and we're done.
So then on the drive to GP, the two lovebirds quarrel over Nathaniel voicing his discontent over Anita not tying him before they bump uglies. Anita's shocked at his demandings, and balks at the idea of her doing BDSM. Surely, the mind baffles. Nathaniel remains adament, and Anita promises to think about it.
Yeah.
When they get to the strip club they run into some interference by way of the newb running the Holy Item Check Post. She doesn't know that Anita is extra-spechul and so she won't let her pass with her cross on. Eventually it's Lisandro to the rescue, before he leads her and Nathaniel back to JC's office. Here we learn that the carpet and couch was replaced after a wild night between Asher and Anita, that I could have sworn had taken place in the office of Danse Macabre NOT Guilty Pleasures. *ponders*
Moving on!
Lisandro decides to get chatty, and starts trashing the local lion pride for being a bunch of pansies... and everyone agrees. Here, here! And he asks Anita to let Rafael interview her perspective lion bunkmates, so that she doesn't end up with a total loser. His reasoning behind it is that Nathaniel and Damian suck because they're puny little girly men, and she needs someone who can kick some ass! And since it's the wererats that guard her body so that she may live to fuck another day, that it should rightfully be Rafael who gets a say in the lion she picks to shag.
Anita's none too pleased... but the discussion gets dropped when Requiem knocks on the door to await JC who wants to see him. Thus ending chapter six and my will to continue.
Until another night, Adieu.
Yet another crossover from my own lj.
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 01:02 am (UTC)".. that guard her body so that she may live to fuck another day,"
Totally epic. Good job. XD
no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 04:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 01:48 am (UTC)And since Rafael's rodere is made up of mercs and stuff, it would seem reasonable, because he'd know what to look for.
Oh, god, there I go, trying to make sense. She's prolly gonna make him succumb to the Crotch of Teh Ebil Empire too. Sigh.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 07:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 02:02 am (UTC)ROTFL!!! And also: 'The readers go WTF? quickly followed by another, louder: 'WTF did I buy this book for'?
Loved this! Can't wait for more. :-)
no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 03:38 am (UTC)In order:
She's edgy due to her mushy feelings, and then uses her mad necromancer logick skillz to deduce that she's being manipulated by a vampire
Because we all know that to really feel love is a crime in these books. Anita must be under some kind of ar-don't, vampire wiles, or bad cheese. Seriously, I wouldn't mind Nate so much if she was really in love with him, but that's impossible for her. Even here, when she's on a DATE, she can't be in love with Nate. It has to be a vampire's manipulation.
The movie was King Kong btw... may Peter Jackson weep many a bitter tear.
Ok, I laughed at that. My last date was going to King Kong as well. And that ended badly too.
As she finishes her business, she finds a package addressed to her
Ok, I gotta ask. If the bathroom was that busy, why would the package be unmolested? Seriously, if Nate went in there (which anyone with a brain would know he hadn't), it had to be before Anita got there. Otherwise, she would have seen him. So, the package must have been left when she went into the stall. And still, in a busy bathroom and this day and age, someone would have either taken it or reported it (thinking it was a bomb).
She opens it, and it's a white mask...Had it been red, that would have been "a bad thing".
What is with the color coded threats!
"Oh, white's not so bad. Yellow is cautionary. Orange is elevated. Red is death-con one." If I were an evil bad guy, I wouldn't do simple color coding. If I did, it'd be poka dots or plaid.
"Ok, this has red and green and blue in it. Does that mean we're ok?"
pissing directly upon your daisies.
Oh, may I borrow that? I like that saying.
and her boyfriend is a fan of Anita, from her one-time only performance at GP
Uh, Anita's been on stage twice that I can remember. In the first book, she jumps up on stage to save her friend, and gets in a fight with the vampire (Aubrey) and JC has to "prove" that she's a "dancer" and a "vampire" by showing off their matching cross scars. The second time was when she had an orgy on stage. I have a feeling that LKH remembered that Anita had a habit of jumping on stage to prove her moral ground against the evil lusty vampires.
She doesn't know that Anita is extra-spechul and so she won't let her pass with her cross on.
Has the Holy-Item check girl been living under a rock? Not only is Anita well known in St. Louis, she's been on tv and the news in several of the books. Not to mention, that anyone on the news is almost always featured in magazines. I don't keep up with celebrity news, but I can pretty much pick out who's big in the news because I work near magazines.
Lisandro decides to get chatty, and starts trashing the local lion pride for being a bunch of pansies... and everyone agrees.
Another question. If you aren't happy with your alpha, why not just move? Find a new pack/pard/pride/what ever. I know a bunch of new wolves show up who did that, because Richard's pack was the "best" pack. If you think your pride is a bunch of pansies, leave!
All in all, thank you for reading this so I don't have to. You're doing a good job.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 04:14 am (UTC)pissing on daisies: eh, go ahead... it's a pretty common slang down South
on Lisandro: he's a rat... the lions are happy together, with their mutual wussiness. it's just foreshadowing and "establishing plot" for what happens to the pride later on down the book
no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 01:29 pm (UTC)Also, that bitch. If only people stopped hovering, then we wouldn't have toilet seats covered in piss.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 10:56 pm (UTC)There is hope for ONE character!
*dances and cheers for the ghost-writer who is getting Nathaniel into a position to WALK OUT ON THE SKANK!!!!